Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

I need a pep talk

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #16
    People are often made up of their experiences or lack of experiences. Itís not an excuse for all of them, because some people will never change, but I will have to say after going through Dry Eye hell and coming out the other end, I personally have so much more empathy than before for anyone who is suffering from painful andor depressing physical, mental, or social situations.
    What I donít get it is why people question and do not even attempt to accept what others tell them. If empathy was more prevalent, world would for sure be a better place.

    Comment


    • #17
      Yeah, especially when itís someone we know well. It feels like they donít trust us and/or think they know better than we do, the last thing we need instead of getting support and empathy when we are struggling.

      Comment


      • #18
        I'll write more tomorrow... eyes are too sore to type more today. Thanks to all for the comments. <3
        Yet another post-Lasik (2005)...
        Anyone have a time machine so I can go back and undo this mess?

        Comment


        • #19
          .......................
          Last edited by SAAG; 12-Apr-2019, 03:38.
          Yet another post-Lasik (2005)...
          Anyone have a time machine so I can go back and undo this mess?

          Comment


          • #20
            Originally posted by Hokucat View Post
            SAAG, I remember pulling everything I could get together for just a few seconds, so I could smile with my eyes forced opened and not look in pain for family pictures.
            Yes, I can completely relate to that. We become good actors... pretending to be okay so as not to make those around us uncomfortable, so as not to ruin a good time for others, so as not to face people's doubts about us.


            Originally posted by Hokucat View Post
            I had many acquaintances, friends and a few family members who constantly told me I needed to get out more, told me to drink more water and use more eye drops,
            Yes, and the "use more eye drops" thing is frigging ridiculous - like we've been dealing with this so long and didn't think of such a simple solution? Do they think we're that stupid? Or do they think we're deliberately withholding effective treatments from ourselves to get attention? It pisses me off.

            Originally posted by Hokucat View Post
            ...commented how my poor husband was doing everything like taking care of the kids, cooking, driving them around, etc. etc. Iíd try to explain how debilitating my condition was where no treatments were working, but it didnít seem to get through to them no matter how many times or how I explained it to them, some had a glazed look when I was half-way through explaining, I could tell my efforts were futile. When my mother-in-law, who in general is a nice person, told me earlier this year (now that Iíve been able to manage decently for ~3 years) that she thought I had been making up how painful my eyes were where I was literally homebound for three years, depressed, had to stop working, could not attend most family gatherings or help my husband, I got very angry and couldnít believe it because she saw the pain I was in.
            I'm so sorry you went through that - it's shocking how quick people are to think one would willingly choose to withdraw from normal activities in life and be homebound by choice. That's majorly f'd up... generally I try to be more diplomatic, but I'm losing patience with such people and their lack of empathy.

            Originally posted by Hokucat View Post
            I asked her why she thought I was pretending. She said she never heard of dry eyes being so bad. She also said she has always been in good health, so had no idea what it was like to be incapacitated, especially at my age. So it really hit home for me after talking with her and thinking about it, why so many people did not understand...they never have seen anyone with such a debilitating degree of dry eye, they nor a close loved one ever experienced anything incapacitating, if one is fairly young it seems unusual to have anything so severe, etc. In my mother-in-lawís case, perhaps seeing her son have to do so much more and her grandchildren not have enough attention from their mom for several years was also a factor, where it looked like I didnít want to do anything.
            I believe many people suffer from a lack of imagination. If they haven't personaly experienced something, they do not have the mental capacity to imagine it. And without the ability to imagine what something might be like, they cannot feel empathy or compassion, only judgment.

            Originally posted by Hokucat View Post
            I hope things can get to a better place for you this coming year.
            Thank-you for that. I don't know what I'd do without this forum... it's cathartic to talk it out with people... it makes me feel better.

            Thanks again to all <3
            Yet another post-Lasik (2005)...
            Anyone have a time machine so I can go back and undo this mess?

            Comment


            • #21
              .........................
              Last edited by SAAG; 12-Apr-2019, 03:38.
              Yet another post-Lasik (2005)...
              Anyone have a time machine so I can go back and undo this mess?

              Comment


              • #22
                Thanks for the update SAAG. Great to hear the new glasses and meditation/sleep are helping you. Was worried about you! But sounds very promising that you can go outside, and watch a movie and check emails pain-free, as from personal experience I remember how painful and impossible those things were! Am hopeful you will continue to progress.

                Comment


                • #23
                  ...........................
                  Last edited by SAAG; 12-Apr-2019, 03:39.
                  Yet another post-Lasik (2005)...
                  Anyone have a time machine so I can go back and undo this mess?

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    ..............................
                    Last edited by SAAG; 12-Apr-2019, 03:39.
                    Yet another post-Lasik (2005)...
                    Anyone have a time machine so I can go back and undo this mess?

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      So, so glad that the glasses are helping. Just a little incremental difference in one thing, sometimes, is all it takes to turn one particular corner.

                      In fact I think sometimes (not thinking about you specifically, just pondering this in general) I think that the problem can loom so large to us at times that it doesn't even occur to us that tweaking details might be enough for today's need.

                      I downloaded Headspace, kind of having fun with it! Thanks for the tip!

                      I love this quote: "I wish everyone out there who suffers from this and feels alone in it knew about this forum so they could talk it out with people here... Facebook groups are good, but forums offer the opportunity to choose an anonymous username and therefore speak more freely without worries about what people who know you might think if they saw what you wrote." Do you mind if I quote you on this SAAG ?

                      Not everybody likes to write copiously like us and the FB groups are good for instant gratification and instant "contextualization" of a question. But... for anonymity and any actual discussion or really getting into any issue or description, forums really are so much better.
                      Rebecca Petris
                      The Dry Eye Zone

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        ..................

                        Originally posted by Rebecca Petris View Post
                        I love this quote: "I wish everyone out there who suffers from this and feels alone in it knew about this forum so they could talk it out with people here... Facebook groups are good, but forums offer the opportunity to choose an anonymous username and therefore speak more freely without worries about what people who know you might think if they saw what you wrote." Do you mind if I quote you on this SAAG ?
                        I don't mind at all. Can you mark it as said by a forum user though, not specifically by me? I prefer to just blend in among all the users here :-) If people really want to know who said it, they can search the forum.


                        Last edited by SAAG; 12-Apr-2019, 03:40.
                        Yet another post-Lasik (2005)...
                        Anyone have a time machine so I can go back and undo this mess?

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Posted, then thought better of it and deleted it all. Sorry!
                          Last edited by SAAG; 06-Feb-2019, 11:11.
                          Yet another post-Lasik (2005)...
                          Anyone have a time machine so I can go back and undo this mess?

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            ..........................
                            Last edited by SAAG; 12-Apr-2019, 03:40.
                            Yet another post-Lasik (2005)...
                            Anyone have a time machine so I can go back and undo this mess?

                            Comment

                            Previously entered content was automatically saved. Restore or Discard.
                            Auto-Saved
                            Smile :) Biggrin :D Wink ;) Rolleyes :rolleyes: Tongue :p Cool :cool: Redface :o Confused :confused: Eek :eek: Frown :( Mad :mad:
                            x
                            Insert: Thumbnail Small Medium Large Fullsize Remove  
                            x
                            Working...
                            X