Re finding a doctor, I have pm'd you to ask for location. There ARE pediatric ophths who know dry eye just not that many. However, a pediatric ophth can be a really good asset regardless, if they're a good one. Think teamwork maybe. Cornea for their specialized knowledge, pediatric for their dedication to getting to the bottom of things & regular follow-up. (By the same token, many dry eye adult patients find an optometrist helps them more than the cornea doc though theoretically they have less training in this.) Problem with cornea MDs is the vast majority are more interested in corneal surgery than corneal disease, so you really have to pin down one that actually likes corneal disease. And of course the problem with EVERYBODY except the special few is, they're often too hung up on clinical signs to care about symptoms. However, sounds like your son has enough clinical signs to warrant more attentive care anyway.
I plan to modify his diet and hopefully that will help
he's the kind of kid who doesn't like water dripping in his eyes from the bath
He suggested we continue with the blink drops and do the warm compresses and he doesn't need to see him back for 1.5 years.
I really agree with the others about finding some way to make the interventions fun if at all possible. - My daughter is 9 now so not quite as into it but at 4, oh my gosh, she was so fascinated by all the dry eye gear I have in the shop and was always begging for stuff. Had a box of all her own goggles, sleep masks, rice baggies and such. I think I still have on my profile somewhere a picture of her with a Tranquileyes goggle on when we were flying to Boston for my sclerals one time. (No, she doesn't have dry eye.)
You can make mini rice baggies that double as bean bags to toss and warm compresses to sneak onto his eyes while you're reading to him. Have to get clever with ways to distract (as others have mentioned) in order to keep some heat on there for 5 minutes at a time (and I really would suggest using either rice or some other compress capable of retaining heat for 5 minutes - then you don't need to do it more than once).
I'm wondering too if there's any special buddy he has with a nice mom that would be willing to let you educate them a little about this so they could be supportive.
Random thoughts for what they're worth!! Above all though please, please do not let yourself mentally extrapolate this problem ahead for years let alone decades. Treat it as a deal-able current crisis, not as the beginning of a chronic crisis. Sounds like he's got a good aqueous situation and I feel confident that as things progress with better professionals, better info etc on everything from diet to medical care you'll see good progress and get more comfortable with the routines.
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