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  • Future

    Dear all,

    What can you advise for those who have dry eyes and want to have a family and children! Is that possible?
    Where you put your focus to not get anxiey about the future!

    Whising all the best!
    RFreitas
    Last edited by RFREITAS; 20-Apr-2015, 11:57. Reason: Too much info

  • #2
    Hi Rfreitas - dry eyes should never stop anyone doing what they want to do especially family and kids. Avoiding anxiety in the future is not possible, life always throws us curved balls and stress/anxiety are our bodies way of making us aware of danger. It's natural but damaging when it doesn't subside and becomes 'chronic'. Is there something about the future you're particularly worried about? If you can nail it down to something then you can work on decreasing any anticipatory fears.

    Daily meditation helps train the muscles and nervous system to relax and enables to help us cope with stressful situations better. Perhaps you could try it out? .... but anxiety will occur with or without dry eyes. I agree that dry eyes certainly increases the frequency of stress and anxiety but it's up to us to develop coping mechanisms to deal with it better.

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    • #3
      I believe I will have children in the future. I know it will be a bit more difficult for me than my friends who don't have eye issues but I'd hate to think that I decided not to have children because of my condition then in 10 years time my eyes are better (I still have hope).

      Mindfulness meditation has helped me to stop stressing over the future. It took a while though and I still do worry a bit when I've got something important coming up as my eyes are so unpredictable from one day to the next. It's also helped in my everyday life as my mind was wandering off a lot when I was trying to work. I'm more organised now!

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      • #4
        Thank you both! You are always very kind and wise

        I want to have a normal life, even with dry eyes or something else. I agree that dry eyes should not stop us from anything... and I would hate not to have chilren and in 5 years a cure appear ( Liz I have hope too )

        I am not taking any medication now because I feel more strong and calm. However life will continue to put us new challenges and this will cause anxiety turns to show. My biggest fear is if the eyes will get worse in one year... 5 years... I know is stupid but when you have something that you can not control is dificult not want to predict the future.

        I was hopping someone with kids to reveal their experience! But your responses we more than that! So thank you both for your incentive and experience.
        Special for always see the bright side of life

        Have a nice day!

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        • #5
          I know that SAAG had children after her dry eye problems started but I think she is still off travelling around the world so may not post here. She's my inspiration!

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          • #6
            Not only SAAG-there are several women on the forum who had children after their eye problems started. So, everything is possible!

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            • #7
              Yes, mine too!! SAAG no pressure!! LOL

              Yes, I know! I was looking for that women that could give some inputs! I love this fórum... but sometimes I miss the positive attitude! Please don't take wrong... I loved your responses and the support around here... somestimes we just need that... someone that point us the good!

              Everything is possible!

              Thank you both!

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              • #8
                Read dianat posts.

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                • #9
                  I worry about this regularly and am trying meditation and yoga to calm this fear I love to have control of my life and this has taken complete control away. I will regain control somehow...as we all should try to do. This website helps tremendously!

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Amanda View Post
                    This website helps tremendously!
                    Can't imagine how isolated I'd feel now if I never came here.
                    prevention is better than cure, but not for eyes?

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by justbob View Post
                      Can't imagine how isolated I'd feel now if I never came here.
                      Agreed! We need to stick together!!

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                      • #12
                        Justbob is my friend, having a difficult time. Please can we think of each other kindly, whether it's meditation or prayer or posting or sending messages.

                        Such nice people here! We need to share more loving advice on coping strategies and hope
                        Mindfulness meditation has helped me to stop stressing over the future. It took a while though and I still do worry a bit when I've got something important coming up as my eyes are so unpredictable from one day to the next. It's also helped in my everyday life as my mind was wandering off a lot when I was trying to work. I'm more organised now!
                        I've been nervous to post before but after 6y my daughter's eyes are very good. From seeing doctors every month, steroid regimes and drops every day, she just has checks maybe 2/y and barely uses wetting drops now.

                        Refreitas is so right!
                        sometimes I miss the positive attitude! Please don't take wrong... I loved your responses and the support around here... somestimes we just need that... someone that point us the good!
                        Last edited by littlemermaid; 06-Jul-2015, 02:43.
                        Paediatric ocular rosacea ~ primum non nocere

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                        • #13
                          Justbob you go! Do not stop!! It's a struggle. Sometimes I just do not come here. I prefer not to read anything and that way my imagination don't fly!!
                          We need to be strong and be hopefull!! It's true!! The science is improving and new things will become soon!!

                          We need more positive inputs! Once I asked Rebecca if she could asked former members, that no longer are here, to ask for their situation and what helped them.

                          My eye pain improved along the years. It's not perfect, but now I realize that

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                          • #14
                            Yes it's possible, I have a child under two, it's not easy when you don't get sleep but you do cope and having a little one makes dry eye less important to me and im kept busy a lot. My optometrists has dry eye, a tbut of 4.0 and is expecting her first baby this year too, anything is possible, don't give up your dream of having a family but wait until you feel ready, and don't worry, you can be just a good parent with dry eye as anyone else, we just work around the hard days.
                            People have recovered, so can we.
                            www.twitter.com/EyeGirlfriend)

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                            • #15
                              Hi!You all mentioned about family life and children but I have also a big fear about my academic success since my eyes never let me make my best.I am only 20 and started the uni this year,I cannot imagine how 4 years with these horrible disease will past.I really want to hear people who struggled with dry eyes through university education

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