Things happen for a reason ... is BS

[tommyboy]

Thanks - jivgil - I will check it out. Have not done that yet. May have my wife do that first for me

[jivgil]

In those audio programs, they host and interview different experts.
Psychologists, neuroscientists, spiritual teachers, writers.
People who have spent their lives exploring those issues.
I have found that for me they shed light on the topics of self compassion and acceptance.
Needs a lot of reflection and practice of course.

[tommyboy]

Thanks jivgil ... I will check out the links

[tommyboy]

Hemu - what is the book? Is it any good? Thanks for your feedback...

[jivgil]

Hi.
I wanted to share two audio programs, which I feel help me.
The compassionate brain
http://live.soundstrue.com/compassionatebrain/event.php

Self acceptance
http://live.soundstrue.com/selfacceptance/

Those programs teach us how to accept and be compassionate to ourselves on this hard times.
And Tommyboy, I feel for you, and pray for you feeling better, physically and mentally.

And about god...
I did have some remarkable experiences in my life, including what happened, with the refractory surgery, and my eyes.
As for the pain, I was mad at god at first for causing it to me.
But now I feel more this is a mystery, of why pain happens, which I don't understand.
I less feel like blaming god for it.
I have been healed physically miraculously from most of the eye issues.
I still am dealing with the trauma I have had.
I guess this are emotional stages that one needs to go.
Dealing with anger/forgiveness was one.
Hurt was another.
I am dealing now with frustration, envy, shame.

Interesting points of view from both sides. To be totally honest I think that religion and politics shouldn't really be discussed in too much depth on any health forum as it has the potential to be too divisive.

Well, I must say, so far everyone is being very good about it, so yay for that! Maybe we're just an extra civilized bunch so we can have a mature sharing of views without any cat fights? We're so special As you say, it's very interesting to read the points of view and how everyone ends up taking it...

And Tommyboy, so happy for you that your glasses have come back to you! Wonderful news!

Now, I'm off to relax on the couch for the evening...

[robster]

Interesting points of view from both sides. To be totally honest I think that religion and politics shouldn't really be discussed in too much depth on any health forum as it has the potential to be too divisive. Just my two cents worth. Hang in there Tommy.

[Rebecca Petris]

I'm so glad you got your glasses back!

Tommyboy, of all the reasons I could name for why I believe there's so much pain/suffering in this broken old world of ours, God ain't on my list. I don't believe God inflicts harm either maliciously or "benevolently". Not the one I know anyway. And I really resent the kind of theology that pushes that notion. It just doesn't make sense. Even we humans don't behave like that... I know I'm an awfully flawed mom in so many ways but even I would never harm my daughter - not for any amount of ostensible future good. Similarly I do not in a million years believe God wanted me to get a bad LASIK, suffer pain and vision loss so that I would start the dry eye zone, experience eventual positive life changes etc etc. My perspective on it would just be thankfulness for the mercy that somehow amazingly does cause good things to emerge in the wake of harm & even devastation. In that sense - and in that sense alone - I don't have any regrets about what happened to me. Did God do it to me? Nope. A greedy industry and an ophthalmologist who followed all the other well-meaning and not-so-well-meaning and ... well never mind... ophthalmologists down that slippery slope did it to me. And I feel the same way about them now that I did 12 years ago.

I was recently up at a part of Mt St Helens that I had never been to before. That place is so amazing, I could never get tired of it. I was 11 years old when it blew up and the destruction was stunning, breathtaking. Nobody who knew that mountain before it blew could ever think it anything short of tragic that the beauty they knew was obliterated. Yet there's an awesome beauty and sweetness in seeing what the last 33 years have done, how nature's come back. It's not just a barren wilderness anymore. Slow process, but it gives one hope

[spmcc]

You found your glasses! Yippee. (I'm practicing SAAG's smile technique)

[tommyboy]

Thanks for all the replies ... it feels REALLY nice to get such great responses.

I do have GOOD news ... I do have my glasses! Someone at the MS walk found them and i picked them up yesterday.

When I could not find my glasses ... just the fact that I did not know where they were, for whatever reason I felt a bit 'panicked' ... and I was already in a bad mood for whatever reason.. and you know how it goes .. the combination of pain and dealing with all this all time just plain gets to you.

Thanks again for all the replies and the advice

I am on doxy by the way for the stye SPMCC...

[spmcc]

I'm so sorry about your brand new prescription Wiley Xs. Losing my moisture chambers would make me so upset!

And I'm sorry about your stye. I got a lot of them at the beginning of my eye troubles. Try warm compresses... and see your doctor for some antibiotic ointment.

As for god/God... I do get a little peeved that He can take credit for all the good stuff that happens, but doesn't get blamed for the bad stuff. Oh well. I'm not a believer.

And I'm grumpy too! I don't understand how people can be chipper when they're in pain. I'm going to try SAAG's smile technique. I read about a study showing that botox makes people happy. The researchers think it's because people with botox can't make sad/unhappy faces. Hmmm.

[MartyM1985]

SAAG is a damn saint... my personal opinion. I very much appreciate the time you put in on here.

Hang in there Tommy. Try to let go of the anger. I was mad at myself for a long time, still am during some moments of the day.

Push yourself to let go of all that negative energy. It's not easy, but you'll probably feel better in the end. HANG IN THERE DUDE!

[Hemu]

I have started attending a Happiness Project meetup and am reading a book that offers some steps towards acquiring happiness once again in your life.

I've just started that but just talking to people who are practicing that has helped. I've also started telling more people about what happened to me and what my struggles are and it's helping.

Thanks SAAG - I will try our method staring today

I sure hope it works for you... I know how nuts it must sound, but it has always worked for getting me out of a funk. Sometimes it's hard to muster up the will to pretend that hard and shove aside all the dark thoughts in my mind, but once I am able to do it, it's smooth sailing from there.

[bakunin]

Well, fellows

You are dry eyes sufferers but are in front of computer in a sunday
As me, by the way

From age 3 to 15 I studied in a catholic school. But I became and atheist still in my teenage years. I had a fully life, lots of good times, made a lot of things that I remember with a smile on my face til I was 36. But I had a source of stress. I was kind of afraid for the near future. I had no financial or job stability, and many times no perspective of job while I was living with grants. Well, when I was 36 i got a nice job in the public sector that gives me financial stability, and propably for the rest of my life. When I was almost hopeless I got it. I thought with myself: destiny is being really nice to me, what a lucky guy I am. But almost at the same time I got this dry eyes... when I got what I was looking for, I lost my health, my life became surviving.. life became my past existence...
Yes, I thought a couple of times that god exists after that... Man, god exists and is playing with me... he gave what I wanted for so long and at the same time took my health away , and the possibility to enjoy life as before. Or maybe god didn't let the post-lasik dry eyes happens when I was 31 (the age I did it), and gave me the opportunity to deal with it when I had financial and job stability at least.

for whatever reason, my eyes are bad this sunday

good week for all