6 months after Lasik

[Drops]

I had lasik around 6 months ago and my eyes are painfully dry, burning constantly. I am taking the fish oil and the flax seed oil and wearing the goggles (onions) when I am at home. I am all plugged and I have cried almost everyday after the lasik.
I gave up going to the lasik doc.... He thinks I shouldn't complain because I see 20/20. Well, whatever, my eyes are so painful that I have to close them around 7:00 each night.
Long gone are those days of watching David Letterman or maybe going to have a drink with friends. I now sit at home with my 20/20 dry eyes wondering how to live out the rest of my life.
Work sucks, there is not joy in the day, I struggle to get through the day.
I feel all the joy has been taken away from me. The pain has taken over. I struggle constantly with a voice in my head telling me to end it all.
All the good stuff stopped in this country after they sent a man to the moon. Now all they want to do is sell a pack of lies to people, rip them off, leave with them without tear film and tell them, "you signed the consent form."
I am so bitter and pissed off and cry daily, wondering when I am just going to hang myself and end it all, what is life worth living for?

[Rojzen]

location; shift of gears

Hello Friend, and know that we hear and feel your suffering. . .It is immense, and we are a community that profoundly grasps this, as we identify with you through our own identical or parallel experiences. . .

It is hard to believe now, but you will ultimately be past the feeling of having no options, if you can find a way to assume that you will get better if you begin the process of trial and error with the tremendous number of partial and full solutions that exist for many aspects of your post-LASIK syndrome. . .

Not to belabor any of these yet (to give you a chance thoroughly to review the encyclopedic postings and references here), I'll ask only if you would share where you're located, so that we can chime in with references to docs we know who could free you from the very practitioner who brought you to this state. . .

The only other qs. I'll pose right now are 1) whether you would consider wearing protective eyewear (other than onion goggles; something more suitable for business (info. is available here on all that)) at all times when you're away from home/working/etc., and 2) whether you are getting any emotional support through regular/frequent counseling, and are in the care of loved ones who know how dark things feel for you right now...

[Rebecca Petris]

My heart goes out to you. Many people here have been through that very difficult, intense place you are in and can attest to how absolutely overwhelming it can be.

I want to assure you that IT DOESN'T STAY THAT WAY. It takes time, but you will experience more healing, and you will find remedies that get you much more comfortable than you are now, and most of all you will find hope and encouragement. The intensity of suffering you're experiencing right now - emotional, especially - does not last.

I could give you a long litany of suggestions for what to do for your eyes right now but having seen hundreds of people go through this over the years it is my belief that your top priority should be getting help for the depression and anxiety that it has caused. It's impossible to make good decisions about eyecare and most of all to be an effective advocate for yourself when it's wreaking such havoc with you emotionally. There is help to be had for dry eye but navigating the information and the medical system takes energy and perseverance that can only be summoned up when you're in a calmer state. So I want to urge you to talk to a GP, therapist, family member or close friend, suicide hotline and anyone else that you can reach out to at this time for help. Even if they cannot understand the level of pain you're experiencing they may well be able to help with the emotional toll it's taking.

Hang in there, please.

[virus]

Don't give up hope. 6 months after surgery I was going through eye drops like drinking water. I too thought if I had only kept my glasses. The drops you can purchase on this site, Dwelle, Dakrina and Nutratear are nothing short of amazing. They helped me get through the night without having to put heavy gels in my eyes. They were thin enough to help me through some tough days. Over time I found myself using less drops throughout the day. Luckily for me Restasis has helped to a point where I only need to put drops in my eyes in the morning and sometimes at night. I can live with that. Don't lose hope.

[Stanza]

Hello, you've come to the right place on here, hope you'll look around to find some ideas you can try to ease the pain.

S

[Judy]

Lasiksux,
You are in the right place. Please stay here and read with this team of people who have gone thru such similar things as you are, some are in even worse shape, and many have it much easier than you, although that was not always the case. Things will and do get better. I agree with Rebecca, please get help for your depression first, then you can start trying some of the tricks we have all learned thru this website that can be very helpful in your recovery. You are in my prayers!

[Drops]

Thanks for your help

First I would like to apologize about my bad attitude. I am very overwhelmed and angry. I have a lot of support, my husband has been wonderful through all this. I have been so independent all my life and this dry eye pain has suddenly made me so weak and needy and angry. I have not trust in doctors, however the 3rd psychiatrist I saw has helped me with medications that I can take to make it through my day.

I am hesitant to order the eyedrops on this website because they contain preservatives. I have some of the blood serum eyedrops and they help.
I had a good therapist, but I am so angry that I had to take a break from him because all I did was yell at him about my eye problem.
SO, thanks for the support. I will try to mellow and so some research on this website.
I pray that researchers are out there coming up with new drops and treatment for dry eye.
Thanks and again, I appreciate all your replies and support!!!!

[dianat]

Dear LASIKsux, (and does it ever)

First off, I am so glad you found us. Please, do all the research you can here and take a lot of notes. The suggestions on this site have gotten many of us from the place where you are to a place where we can live again happily. We still have our struggles, but we cope and cope well most of the time. Some people even graduate off this site never to be heard from again.

I am glad to know you are working to improve your mental health. This is truly key in your recovering as a person consumed by depression and anxiety doesn't manage well in following a healthy eye care routine. As annoying and time-consuming as they are, the strange rituals we do to improve our tear film are very effective.

So, look around here and try some things. I'd recommend a humidifier in your home, office and bedroom. When I improved the way my eyes felt at night, my days went better. An eye patch or Tranquileyes could really help you as well.

The other that I swear by are warm compresses morning and evening. You can search this site to learn a number of ways to do this. I find the few minutes post-compress is the most comfortable part of my day in terms of my eyes.

It won't hurt you to get on some omega fatty acid supplements. Take your pick. We've discussed many of them on here and I think Rebecca sells them in the shop. I know a number of people who report a noticeable improvement with the use of these vitamins. They are also a natural way of improving mood. Can't hurt.

The most important thing for you to keep in mind right now is that you are VERY early in this post-LASIK journey. Yes there are people with issues long-term, but there are LOADS of people who improve TREMENDOUSLY in time. You are still well within range of dramatic improvement. There is great hope for you and plenty to live for.

While you wait and heal, it is up to you to take good care of yourself. Not only should you care for your eyes as suggested, you need to work on your overall health...mental and physical.

Consider your early bedtime to be a way of helping your body heal and recover. Close your eyes and enjoy music, audio books...whatever. (audible.com) In those rough days I found great pleasure in listening to audio books. It allowed me to think about something other than my damn eyes for a change. My husband would often listen with me and it was time well-spent for both of us.

Lastly and very importantly, try to forget about your LASIK surgeon. It does you no good to dwell on him. Mine thought my 20/20 was golden, too. He's an ass. Per a discussion we once hed, he intended to LASER his own daughter when she was old enough and his wife already had dry eye post-LASIK. Who needs him. I'm more concerned for the patients walking into his office daily and who show up weekly on this bulletin board.

Lose the anger. Please. You don't have the energy for it and it gets in the way of your healing.

Please do take good care of yourself and keep us posted.

Dianat

[shells]

I am so sorry to here what you are going through, but I am glad you found this site and are reaching out. I am also here because of lasik and I know this has already been said, but I wanted to stress how EARLY you are in the healing process. I used to feel exactly like you did, and I reached out to people on this site who had been there and to others that were going through the same things as me. I want to let you know that so many of the people I have talked to over the years have gotten MUCH BETTER. They don't always come back to post about it, but I can guarantee you they are out there. And even those of us whose eyes have not gotten alot better, have found better treatments and have learned to deal with things much better. I still have my ups and downs, but I am 200% better emotionally than I was in those early days and I've learned to manage my eyes better too.

I know how hard it is, but you need to try to take things day by day. Find something that you can do that helps you relax. I used to take a hot bath when the pain and anxiety were really bad. It helped me relax even if only for a while. Diana suggested books on tape, this is also another good option. It is good that you are getting help with the depression, and it is good that you have the support of your husband. Diana is right about forgetting about your lasik surgeon and forgiving yourself. That has truly been the biggest step in my emotional healing. It is hard enough to deal with the dry eye, and the anger and regret you are feeling only make things harder on you.

I promise you that I have been in that dark place you are now, and I know that so many others on this site have been to. But we have made it out and I know that you will too. You have PLENTY more time for your eyes to heal. Hang in there, and take good care of yourself and your eyes.

-Shells

[Lucy]

Shels and Diana have summed things up nicely, LS! The two young women have come full circle in the dry eye scope. It's been a couple of years for Shels and even longer for Diana, but they were where you are. It's a struggle, but you really have to do what they suggest.

I remember when I was so bad I could barely keep my eyes open at work and when I got home, straight to bed (or the couch-eyes closed). The house could have burned and I may not have opened my eyes. I do remember one of the things I could enjoy was going to a movie. Yes, I had/have the cruddy lasik vision and dry eyes, but as long as I took drops, it was a bit of time that I sort of forgot about my eyes. Other people cannot stand to look at a movie screen, I've heard. Well, actually, I'm sure my eyes were shut some of the time.

Try finding something you can do for exercise. A short walk, or time on the treadmill. This is also important. We hope you feel better and stay with us.
Lucy

[dianat]

A movie theater is an easy place to wear goggles in public...I've done it many a time. I'd forgotten about that, Phyl! I don't require goggles in the theater any more, but do wear them outside and for driving.

D

[Drops]

Not a good day

I just can't tell you how hard things are for me & I appreciate the support on this website. I am just so angry and upset and it is not a good day. I had to work a half day and went through the grocery store to buy food. I ended up running through the store because the air in the grocery store burned and stings my eyes.
I just am so angry, I feel so defeated by this.
I am in tears.

[Stanza]

Just keep reading through what everyone suggests as other things you can do, and keep trying, keep a list of what you try and what fails and what might help a bit and give everything a good chance before you try the next thing. You will get there