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Sorry in advance for the long text! I tried to give proper backgound and information. This includes sex related topics so if you're offended by that you should stop reading now.
I have dry eyes and the cause is probably the infamous acne medication Roaccuttan that I used 15 years ago. I've had dry eyes for couple of years now. I've been to almost ten eye doctors and I've been reading information from here. I massage and clean the meibomian glands, use eye drops and in general keep pretty good care of my eyes (except for using too much screens during the day). The condition of my eyes affects almost everything I do every day, but if I take good care of them I can live a pretty normal life, most of the time pain is not too bad and I can do most normal things if I don't over do them.
But for some reason sex is making my eyes a lot worse for several days after intercourse. It's really strange.
Does anybody else get this? Any idea why it might happen?
I just went to a new doctor yesterday, who is specialized in dry eyes. He did all the basic tests for me and said my eyes are in really good condition and that I take good care of the problem. He said there are some signs of inflammation and some other things but it looks like it's in the process of healing and not getting worse. Some doctors before have said that I shouldn't have this much pain in my eyes because everything looks rather healthy in the tests. I don't produce as much tear drops or as good quality drops as a normal person but according to the tests the situation is not as bad as it for some dry eye patients. I also still have the meibomian glands and they are still working, even though not as effectively as normally.
The newest doctor said that the problem with sex is not hormonal, because my symptoms are different to what you would get from after-sex-hormonal changes. He said that the increased production of estrogene after sex should actually make dry eyes a little bit better. He said the problem is most likely a environmental factor. He said that kissing for example moves a lot of bacteria/microbes in the area of the eyes. He said that it might even be that my partner has a set of bacteria and microbes that are just not compatible with my sensitive body/eyes/microbes. He said that the situation might be different with a different partner. Or it might be the room where sex happens or some other environmental factor. I asked if it might be a good idea to try immuno-supressive eyedrops but he said it's not a good idea especially if I might have changing sexual partners with different sets of bacteria/microbes. Apparently the immune system if pretty important if you sleep around. The doctor was basically saying that it's not useful for me to try new drugs or treatments right now and instead we should find the environmental reason behind this problem. He said it might be beneficial in my situation to dry taking care of my eyes less, because everytime I use eye drops or massage and clean the glands, there are more unwanted bacteria going into my eyes. He also said it's important raise my overall well being to mitigate the pain, and the less I can cling to the pain after sex the better, because it might be partly psychological or related to unnecessarily sensitized pain receptors. He also said that sometimes the best cure for dry eyes is pain medication.
I guess we will start to look for these environmental factors together with the doctor. But my next appointment is not until two months from now. And I don't really know what the environmental factors could be. During the last year I've been mostly having sex with a single partner that is like a friends with benefits type of relationship. The sex usually happens at her room. She takes care of her hygiene and the room is usually pretty tidy. I'm not sure if I've had this problem with other partners, because I've only realized the connection with sex like half a year ago. And I don't think I've slept with anyone else after that. I guess I have now a good excuse to get myself on Tinder and find other people to have sex with, to see if the problem persists with them - if the bacteria/microbes of a certain person affect the situation or not. I guess I could rule out other factors like if kissing or oral sex or other stuff affects the situation or not. I'm pretty sure the reason is not giving oral sex, because there have been quite a few times that I haven't done that and the problem has still been there. I think also if there is only kissing with clothes on my eyes are fine afterwards. Something strange and mystical happens between taking off the clothes and ejaculation that is really bad for my eyes.
I guess I need to try to rule out more things to find the root cause. It just feel kind of akward to suggest for example not kissing because my relationship with my FWB is not really like it is with a girlfriend. If I was in a serious relationship it would be much easier to try different things to rule out the cause because the whole relationship wouldn't be only about sex and it would be easier to talk about everything. If I was in a serious relationship I could do just one certain thing as an experiment and see if it triggers the problem or not; I could even try wearing protective glasses during sex or something like that to see it makes a difference or not. But to suggest doing that to a FWB would be akward af. I mean I'm over thirty,I have been pretty sexually active and I'm not really coy about sex, but apparently I'm really self-conscious about stuff like this.
After sex my eyes get a lot worse for like 3-7 days. They are burning and causing a lot of pain in a way that makes it much more difficult to focus on working or doing normal things. When normally the situation with my eyes is bad but bearable, after sex the situation becomes almost unbearable. This situation has made me avoid sex. I'm afraid I can never get a normal relationship, children and a family because of this.
It's strange because I don't get the same reaction from lifting heavy weights, jogging really hard or masturbation. Going swimming in chloride-water or going to sauna for extended periods of time makes my eyes more dry and painful than normal but it doesn't last as long as what the situation lasts after sex. Staring too much at screens also makes me eyes worse but the change is not as dramatic as from sex and it doesn't last as long. Somehow the change in my condition from sex is a lot more dramatic than any other activity or factor I can think of.
I've been thinking if there is something psychological at play here, or even psycho-somatic factors. I had really big traumatic event a few years ago that affected my mental and physical health tremendously. It still affects a lot of things in my life. I think even the situation with my eyes was probably triggered by the trauma. I think the acne medication was the underlying weakness that got broken through the stress related to my PTSD. The are some aspects in my trauma that are related to lying down on a bed and also related to sex. These things are not the core content of my trauma but they are related to it.
Whether it's physical, psycho-somatic or something else, it's making my life really difficult. My libido is and has always been quite high, and now I don't have any healthy ways to use it. I'm also afraid I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life because of this.
Has anybody had similar reactions to sex? Has anybody found what might cause this? I hope we can find the cause with my doctor but I thought I might get some information from you guys as well.
I have dry eyes and the cause is probably the infamous acne medication Roaccuttan that I used 15 years ago. I've had dry eyes for couple of years now. I've been to almost ten eye doctors and I've been reading information from here. I massage and clean the meibomian glands, use eye drops and in general keep pretty good care of my eyes (except for using too much screens during the day). The condition of my eyes affects almost everything I do every day, but if I take good care of them I can live a pretty normal life, most of the time pain is not too bad and I can do most normal things if I don't over do them.
But for some reason sex is making my eyes a lot worse for several days after intercourse. It's really strange.
Does anybody else get this? Any idea why it might happen?
I just went to a new doctor yesterday, who is specialized in dry eyes. He did all the basic tests for me and said my eyes are in really good condition and that I take good care of the problem. He said there are some signs of inflammation and some other things but it looks like it's in the process of healing and not getting worse. Some doctors before have said that I shouldn't have this much pain in my eyes because everything looks rather healthy in the tests. I don't produce as much tear drops or as good quality drops as a normal person but according to the tests the situation is not as bad as it for some dry eye patients. I also still have the meibomian glands and they are still working, even though not as effectively as normally.
The newest doctor said that the problem with sex is not hormonal, because my symptoms are different to what you would get from after-sex-hormonal changes. He said that the increased production of estrogene after sex should actually make dry eyes a little bit better. He said the problem is most likely a environmental factor. He said that kissing for example moves a lot of bacteria/microbes in the area of the eyes. He said that it might even be that my partner has a set of bacteria and microbes that are just not compatible with my sensitive body/eyes/microbes. He said that the situation might be different with a different partner. Or it might be the room where sex happens or some other environmental factor. I asked if it might be a good idea to try immuno-supressive eyedrops but he said it's not a good idea especially if I might have changing sexual partners with different sets of bacteria/microbes. Apparently the immune system if pretty important if you sleep around. The doctor was basically saying that it's not useful for me to try new drugs or treatments right now and instead we should find the environmental reason behind this problem. He said it might be beneficial in my situation to dry taking care of my eyes less, because everytime I use eye drops or massage and clean the glands, there are more unwanted bacteria going into my eyes. He also said it's important raise my overall well being to mitigate the pain, and the less I can cling to the pain after sex the better, because it might be partly psychological or related to unnecessarily sensitized pain receptors. He also said that sometimes the best cure for dry eyes is pain medication.
I guess we will start to look for these environmental factors together with the doctor. But my next appointment is not until two months from now. And I don't really know what the environmental factors could be. During the last year I've been mostly having sex with a single partner that is like a friends with benefits type of relationship. The sex usually happens at her room. She takes care of her hygiene and the room is usually pretty tidy. I'm not sure if I've had this problem with other partners, because I've only realized the connection with sex like half a year ago. And I don't think I've slept with anyone else after that. I guess I have now a good excuse to get myself on Tinder and find other people to have sex with, to see if the problem persists with them - if the bacteria/microbes of a certain person affect the situation or not. I guess I could rule out other factors like if kissing or oral sex or other stuff affects the situation or not. I'm pretty sure the reason is not giving oral sex, because there have been quite a few times that I haven't done that and the problem has still been there. I think also if there is only kissing with clothes on my eyes are fine afterwards. Something strange and mystical happens between taking off the clothes and ejaculation that is really bad for my eyes.
I guess I need to try to rule out more things to find the root cause. It just feel kind of akward to suggest for example not kissing because my relationship with my FWB is not really like it is with a girlfriend. If I was in a serious relationship it would be much easier to try different things to rule out the cause because the whole relationship wouldn't be only about sex and it would be easier to talk about everything. If I was in a serious relationship I could do just one certain thing as an experiment and see if it triggers the problem or not; I could even try wearing protective glasses during sex or something like that to see it makes a difference or not. But to suggest doing that to a FWB would be akward af. I mean I'm over thirty,I have been pretty sexually active and I'm not really coy about sex, but apparently I'm really self-conscious about stuff like this.
After sex my eyes get a lot worse for like 3-7 days. They are burning and causing a lot of pain in a way that makes it much more difficult to focus on working or doing normal things. When normally the situation with my eyes is bad but bearable, after sex the situation becomes almost unbearable. This situation has made me avoid sex. I'm afraid I can never get a normal relationship, children and a family because of this.
It's strange because I don't get the same reaction from lifting heavy weights, jogging really hard or masturbation. Going swimming in chloride-water or going to sauna for extended periods of time makes my eyes more dry and painful than normal but it doesn't last as long as what the situation lasts after sex. Staring too much at screens also makes me eyes worse but the change is not as dramatic as from sex and it doesn't last as long. Somehow the change in my condition from sex is a lot more dramatic than any other activity or factor I can think of.
I've been thinking if there is something psychological at play here, or even psycho-somatic factors. I had really big traumatic event a few years ago that affected my mental and physical health tremendously. It still affects a lot of things in my life. I think even the situation with my eyes was probably triggered by the trauma. I think the acne medication was the underlying weakness that got broken through the stress related to my PTSD. The are some aspects in my trauma that are related to lying down on a bed and also related to sex. These things are not the core content of my trauma but they are related to it.
Whether it's physical, psycho-somatic or something else, it's making my life really difficult. My libido is and has always been quite high, and now I don't have any healthy ways to use it. I'm also afraid I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life because of this.
Has anybody had similar reactions to sex? Has anybody found what might cause this? I hope we can find the cause with my doctor but I thought I might get some information from you guys as well.