How do you guys do it?! Losing the hope lately!

[Margaret]

I had Lasik almost a year ago and have had moderate to severe eye problems ever since. I've been to many doctors and they are all honing in on ocular rosacea and MGD. I live in moisture chamber goggles. My lids are swollen and seemingly getting worse and my MGD seems to be getting worse. My floaters in my eyes seem to have been worse lately as well. I have been to counseling and trying treatments and trying to stay mentally strong. I have been fighting this new fight but I'm getting tired. I have three active kids with very active lives and so I'm up early and in bed late and I put on a strong face but every second in my mind is on my eyes. My eyes seem to change. In the beginning I had such burning and pain that I noticed my eyelids were slightly swollen but not much. Now it's the other way around. I have decreased eyeball discomfort, but increased lid discomfort and now my MG's are deteriorating and I'm just scared that my eyeball discomfort will become worse. It's been hard enough to adjust to my new dry eyes, but when they keep changing I just can't keep up mentally sometimes. How do you cope? How do you not fear waking up each day? How do you at least know that no matter what you'll be ok?

Thanks for taking the time to listen to me vent. I started Doxy two weeks ago and I think I had high hopes for it to do something. Now my eyelids are worse than ever and I think it's just been a sort of slap in the face and a major let down. The dry eye community are really the only people that can relate and understand so I just thought I'd reach out once more.

Thanks,
Margaret

[socratese]

Not only do some of us have no hope, but very few people believe us or understand us.
Impulse light treatments got my flare ups more under control and made the pain more bearable. It has made me be able to do my hobby barely and with the risk of causing eyes to get worse and flare up. As long as I can do something I enjoy to take my mind off of the pain and the depression of having no life, and NO future at age 27. I am going to get sclerals this is my last hope. Probably won't help me but you never know till you try.

It's good to vent once in a while and talk about it, but I think the best thing for me is to get my mind on something else or I will go major depressive. Good luck. And remember everyone YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

[Margaret]

Sorry, didn't mean to trigger any more depression with anyone! I'm just trying to figure out how to move forward every day.

The ever changes for me is the hardest part. If everyday were around the same I could learn to cope with it and move forward, but every day or every other day or every week is different. It keeps me on my toes and always in a state of fear. At any rate, here I go again, sorry, I just wanted to hear from people what has helped them cope day by day, but also how do you face the future?

Margaret

[jwax]

Try to keep busy and around people

I have been battling blepharitis (severe dry eye) for about 5 years. I know how hopeless it feels sometimes. Some days are better than others, and you don't even know what you did to make it a good day! Very frustrating. I have been dealing with depression and just started on an antidepressant, celexa. I didn't want to take anything, but decided that I needed to see if it helps. Also, I have learned that it is better for your mental attitude to keep busy, keep active, be around friends and people as much as you can. Don't sit home alone if you can help it. You just think too much. I know people find it hard to understand what we are going thru. We don't even understand it. Just hang in there and keep looking for things that might help.

[Rebecca Petris]

((((((Margaret))))))

Sorry I can't give you a hug in person today! But the one benefit of being sick is, a lot of enforced downtime when I can lie around with my laptop and catch up on the board.

As to facing the future, someone on the board has a couple of great verses in their signature line, including: "Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof". Sometimes just figuring out how to face the next hour is enough for me, so I school myself not to bother looking beyond. If looking forward too much harms me rather than helping me, it kind of defeats the purpose.

[Margaret]

thanks for replying. I took your advice and got outside and helped out with my son's baseball practice! I just put on my moisture chambers REEEEEAAALLY tight and went for it. I don't think anyone notices me squinting or adjusting much, my husband said it looked like I was working hard and he hardly noticed, and the kids didn't say anything about the sunglasses in the wind and rain

Parents asked us to join them for dinner tonight as well, so we went and I had a good time. We sat in front of a fireplace, but the kids had a good time and I just smiled and laughed a lot, which helps bring on the tears and more squinting, which is good for me.

Anyway, hoping tomorrow is an easier day. I have been getting better at staying in the moment, but every now and then i try to plan something for next year and I suddenly get that pit in my stomach feeling. How do I know? I still have so many bad days trickled in with good that the stability isn't there to feel confident enough in anything I do. I still get really anxious about leaving the house for more than a local trip.

Thanks again for listening. I just wondered how you veterans seem to eventually get used to it as someone has said to me before!

Margaret

[paras1234]

I also had Lasik and cant see properly in one of the eyes due to dryness .My vision is blurred most of the times but i try to cope every day hoping one day something might work .
The first and foremost thing in this is u have to remove ur inner shyness in going out to the world. BCOZ coping such type of things needs inner strngth.
Keep in mind u have to live whatever the consequences are and dont think ever what people might think or do.
I do have nerve pains beneath my eyes but no idea how to heal them.Have to deal with everyday ACs in offices.
Do things what u like , eat what u like ..This are the things that might help u in dealing every day stress.
Keep good friends who will motivate u .