5 months post LASIK ... struggling

[tommyboy]

I thought things were going to turn around for me. It's the middle of February (in CT). It's cold. I really tried to have a good day. My daughter (10yrs old) sang at her school variety show today. She even dedicated the performance to me which made me cry. And she truly was amazing.

I went to the auditorium after intermission so I would not be in there too long. My neighbor had an after party. I went and had a good time for a few hours. I do not drink (anymore) not even a beer (on too many meds for depression right now). So it's hard to "hang out". After several hours (I did put drops in) my eyes just hurt so much. Just plain painful, burning and it just makes me sick to my stomach. But you can't see it. My eyes look great. They are white. I was was wearing my new glasses (yup ... still need them). So, no one notices me sitting quietly in the corner of the couch. Everyone is having a great time. My family was there. I basically got up and told everyone I had to go. My eyes hurt and I needed to leave and go put some drops in.

I feel "safer" in my own home (across the street). I have three humidifiers running and I guess that really helps. I took my Klonopin (for anxiety) made a cup of tea and started reading some posts.

Tomorrow is Monday. Work in front of my computer. I am waiting for the onion goggles I ordered last week. I hope they help.

I am rambling ... not sure what the heck I am even looking for here? Pitty? Someone to feel sorry for me? NO.

I have read many posts and a few thoughtfult people replied and gave me some suggestions and told me things will get better. I see some people dealing with this recently for a few months and others for years. How does it get better? When do I "surrender" to this "disease"? Do I? Will that help?

I am seeing a counselor tomorrow morning. I hope it will help.

I guess at the end of the day. I just need to vent... In a strange way it helps me.

Looking for better days ... Tom

[Hopeful2]

Hi Tom,

I totally understand about the comfort of being in your own home. . . the sense of safety is very tangible. This too will get better with time.

It does get better, although the road is not without it's detours. You are still at the very early stages of healing. Try not to think too far ahead. When you take one day at a time you realize that it is doable. It is when you start to think long term that you can lose your bearings and feel overwhelmed.

I find that although people do not see your suffering, they do want to be supportive.

Have you tried a cold compress when your eyes are really sore? I know others find it very comforting. I find doing eye and face relaxation exercises to be soothing at times. I have to be in a positive frame of mind for this. . . sometimes it is hard to be there and easier to reach for the drops.

Spring showers are just around the corner, and I know that I will be out, replacing my snow dance with a rain dance!

Sharing, venting, questioning. . . it is all welcome here.

[maiuyen1909]

Hi !
I understand your feelings . I also have a daughter and I feel that each passing day is painful when I see her.Sometimes I think of death to release such a tired time like this.I really regret when i had lasik 3 month ago !
How should i do now.?!?
Who can tell me dry eye will gone or not?!?
Thanks

[tommyboy]

hi my name is Shane , Toms wife. Tom doesn't visit this site much anymore - he doesnt like to bring back bad memories.
But please - do NOT give up hope! Things can get better!! It took Tom time - and correct diagnosis. At the time of this post- we had no idea tom was actually suffering with
cornea neuralgia - his nerves did not grow back after lasik. we didnt get that diagnosis until end of 2012! More than year post surgery.
than he got on serum drops - 8x/day and was able to get 30% nerves back. Tom has been doing good for since 2013/2014. Hes working and enjoying life again!! So please keep up your hope.