8 months out from lasik

[chickenlittle]

I have all 4 tear ducts plugged. uppers with flow control. I don't have to use drops unless something changes and then I get really dry during afternoon and I use Dakrina. I wake up dry, but if I start blinking then I get thinks going. Sometimes I do wake up and put in dakrina if I'm uncomfortable. So my dry eye is better than the excruciating pain I was in Feb and March. I just wonder if this is as good as it gets. And, I don't want to have plugs in my tear ducts - I just want it to be back the way it was. Plus, on top of which I have horrible glare -rays from chandelier lights or recessed lighting. Moon looks double. Car lights have rays going straight up into sky and to side. LED lighting is starbursty - so are stop lights, street lights. During day lights on cars look like sparklers. I have film of glare from windows if I blink. So it's very hard for me not to get depressed over having lasik sugery. Noone - I've been to 5 specialists - can tell me why the glare, surgery looks centered, no astimatism. HOA's aren't that great. Pupils 7, but 6.5 treatment zone and 8 transision zone So I think I'm stuck with it. Driving at night is not fun. I did make myself go on a trip with my kids for a month out West. I said to myself, I'm not going to let this change my life. I drove till it got dark. I swam every day and swimming actually made my eyes feel better. I was in extreme dry heat in Arizona and my eyes did okay. But now that I'm back home it's like I can't get away from this horrible decision I made to do this. I beat myself up every day and I don't know how to get out of it since I SEE this way. If it was just the dry eye I think I could get over the hump, but to have 20-20 vision, but still this glare/gash which IZON glasses do nothing for, I don't know. I am seeing Dr G in 2 weeks for contacts, I just hate the idea of having to have contacts for gash/glare when I see 20-20. I'm not even sure how much they cost. Plus, I"m very leary to go back to work. My short term disability it up and then denied long term. I spent 8-10 hours a day on the computer. I don't think physically my eyes would do well, plus I don't think mentally I can focus on my job. I'm not sure what my next step should be. Thanks for listening. Belinda

[Lucy]

Chicken (still love the name) Little:

You're going to Dr. G in two weeks, so I'm guessing you won't have to deal with bad vision very much longer. If your short-term disability is up, you may not have any choice than to go back to work. Your employer may help you to organize your work station to better suit you.

I don't know what kind of job you have (other than computer) or how well others provide for you, but if you have a full time job with benefits and are eligible for retirement (someday) I'd not just all this drop. Hopefully, you could wing it until Dr. G finds some help for you.

I worked for 5 years as a secretary after my lasik. I had to use drops every 20 minutes and I don't know how I managed. That's all I did was work and come home and sleep. I had another (medically necessary) surgery on my worst eye and that turned out to be even worse visually. The decision was made for me that time, I just couldn't see to work any longer. If you'd like to PM me...please feel free to do so. Perhaps Rebecca could help you cope through this tough time.

I just hate to see you let the job go by the wayside if you'll be better in a couple of weeks/months. I used to tell people my job was the only thing that kept me going. It was awful every day. Lucy

[Rebecca Petris]

Belinda,

Great advice from Lucy. Hang in there. All the LASIK veterans on the board are rooting for you I'm sure.

I'm really, really sorry to hear how hard a time you're going through. But believe me - this is NOT as good as it gets. It is ALWAYS much easier at some point later on than it is 8 months out. Where the peak 'worst point' comes was different for all of us. For a lucky few, just a few months, for others, 9-12-15-18-? months. But it does get better.

Sounds like you're going to find out in a couple of weeks just how much better things can get. From my own experience I think that you'll find the lenses may improve your eye comfort just as dramatically as they do the vision. So hang in there.... I'm thankful that these days the RGP technologies have been greatly improved for people like us by doctors like DrG.

As regards not getting a good explanation about your vision: My view on this is that the profession in general are (I say this with love and respect but!!!) relatively clueless when it comes to reading topographies. Highly respected MDs thought my topographies looked just fine and dandy but you know what? They weren't/aren't. You need a good topographer, you need to look at the topography with the right resolution, and you need the training in what to look for. I can count on the fingers of ONE HAND the ophthalmologists that I would trust to read a topography and accurately predict what the post-lasik patient it belongs to really sees. There are more out there I'm sure, but based on what I hear from patients, I don't know where.

I managed to keep doing my job for a few years after LASIK. In retrospect I'm not quite sure how. If today's lens technologies had been around five years ago, I'd probably still be working on jet financings. But then, I'd never have started DEZ or LME, and so I can't say I have any regrets.

[lboogie]

Hi Belinda,
I PMed you also. But I thought I'd reply publicly too. Your story sounds soooo similar to mine. 8 months out from lasik, bad dry eyes, night vision issues. Although my starbursting I gather is less than yours....I can drive no problem -- it's just different and abnormal. And spending so much worrying about my future and regretting this past deicsion.

I never took any time off work -- but honestly I spent A LOT of time not really working --just showing up and squeaking by - only doing what had to get done. Which is very unlike me. I'm a marketing director for a theater company!! Talk about a creative and fun job! I love it -- but have not been my usual good worker.

I've gotten back to it though. Slowly but surely my mental state is calmer. I've looked at every single website there is - researched countless medical papers. AND it all boils to down to -- there's just not much else to be read or done. If you're anything like me -- your mental state is probably more of a barrier than your dry eyes.

It's WONDERFUL that you went on a trip! Give yourself some credit for that.
I'm holding on to the hope that things will just keep getting better. My eyes are surely better than 7 months ago -- but not great.

Good luck with the lenses! If you get the liquid scleral type-- you'd solve 2 problems. I'm here in the same boat -- it WILL get better -- it has too! (gotta hold on to some hope!)

[blackberry]

Lasik Survivor

Hi there. I am so very sorry this has happened to you. I can relate wholeheartedly to your feelings of depression, anger, etc. I had lasik in 2001 and was told I was an excellent candidate. I, too, got terrible dry eye, starbursts at night, halos, aberrations, and dealt with a doctor who was unwilling to admit that he had in any way caused my problems.

I think the worst of it was the pain I was in because of the dry eye. And I think the worst time I had was about 8 months after the operation. I work at a newspaper and am on a computer about 8 hours a day. It was a very difficult time for me, being in pain all day, waking up to dose my eyes with drops. I was also very photosensitive and the fluorescent lighting above my desk was just killing me. I'm here to tell you that my eyes are much, much better, 8 years out. A host of things helped.

1. I went through tons of different eye drops until I found a routine that worked for me. Theratears was the best on my eyes. I did find, though, that you can use them too much. So I tried to find a good balance.

2. I got my lower tear ducts plugged. That helped enormously.

3. I had them disconnect the flourescent light above my desk at work. Also, I had the janitors block one of the nearby heating and cooling vents. It helped not to have air blowing at me all day.

4. Take plenty of breaks. Close your eyes for a minute every half hour. Look away from the screen.

5. I went to a therapist. I am now on a low dose of prozac and that has helped my mood enormously. Of course, antidepressants can cause your eyes to dry out further, so you have to carefully weigh this as an option.

My eyes are so much better now. I sleep through the night. I forget them for hours at a time. Sometimes they sting -- I have ocular rosacea -- but you may never have those sorts of problems. I am to the point where I was able to work and go to school full time last year. My eyes got tired, but they survived.

Don't beat yourself up. There is this medical cabal out there that values money more than it values people. We got caught up in it. There are, however, wonderful folks like Doctor Latkaney, Doctor G, Rebecca and others who will help you figure this all out. Depend on your family and never give up. When we give up, the bad guys win. I refuse to let them win.
All the best

[chickenlittle]

thanks for the support

Sorry so long in replying, my mom has just had surgery, and I've been at the hospital. I just now am logging back in. I will try to get to the PMs also. I really appreciate all of your feedback and support. It really is so frustrating when noone can tell you whats going on with your eyes. I just am holding on to belief for improvement for glare/gash in the future as well as fixing immediate problem with Dr G

[LasikLady]

My eyes felt so horrible at 8 months compared to how they feel now. There is so much room for improvement for you both mentally and physically.
For me the greatest challenge was the fact I CHOSE to do this to myself and spent 5,000. for the surgery not to mention all the follow ups with specialists and countless bottles and tubes of gunk. Who knows what I have spent. And you know what? I no longer care. And I no longer beat myself up for having the surgery. The facts are that I didn't know this was going to happen to me or of course I wouldn't have done it! Neither would have you!! I was told I was a great candidate so how could I have known. The doctor that did the surgery had no clue this was going to happen to me either. I hated him with a passion for awhile. I have let that go too.
If you are still very dry with the plugs maybe try ditching the flow controllers and going for total occlusion. You may overflow but I can tell you that is better than being in constant pain. Just something to talk to the doctor about and consider.
In time you will overcome this desperation. There will come peace and acceptance. There will come managability with your symptoms. It's a process we all go through. It takes time. Be very kind to yourself in the meantime. Stick with the kind people on this website. This website saved me and I am sure it will help you as well.
Hang in there, you are not alone and it WILL get better!!