need advice...

[Guest]

So how do you stop well-meaning family from giving advice about dry eye treatments?

...it really just seems to me that they want so much to be able to "fix" me, that they are grasping at straws now..

Man...

sooooo... how to gently and tactfully put an end to these well-meaning attempts to help me???

[calli66]

I have no idea. Anything you say would probably be taken the wrong way and they'd get offended.

On the other hand, if you never mentioned your dry eyes to them, they would probably never notice and wouldn't offer "advice." I think the truth is that family members feel uncomfortable and powerless about your suffering, and offer advice to make the uncomfortability go away. It's just a human response; they just can't help it.

Sometimes you wish they would just think first. They don't realize that whatever they say, you've already tried that 6 times over.

Calli

[Sammy B.]

SAAG,

I don't think these people understand how utterly debilitating dry eye can be.

Perhaps you could level with them if you find yourself in private together. You could just say that you really appreciate them asking but it reminds you of the situation and makes you feel bad, that you'll update them when you're ready to.

Another option would be to say, "I'm better, thanks for asking!" and simply ACT as if things are fine. Kinda like fibbing but perhaps they would stop offering up "tips" at that point, thinking you don't need them.

- Rose

[LasikLady]

Change the Subject

When this has happened to me I just change the subject. Now thank God I can honestly say I'm much better and when I do have symptoms that bother me I stick on my good old onion goggles for a bit and that usually helps a lot. But before I reached this level I would say, "Well I still have my bad days but I'm surviving." Then I would run through my memory about a problem they have told me about in the past and switch the topic of conversation onto them. This has worked amazingly well for me.

[Guest]

Thanks for the advice all! I'll be trying some of your suggestions for sure!