feeling defensive...

[Guest]

I hate feeling like I have to PROVE that I'm not exagerating my condition... If I were missing a leg, no-one would expect me to defend why I walk slower than everyone else... but with severe dry eye, people just don't get it...

I hate feeling like people think I'm just trying to get out of stuff, or that I'm lazy or whatever...

This causes me such stress with work...

Prior to this eye problem, I was the girl who's always gotten awesome reviews when employee evaluation are done... and now... well... who knows what they think of me...

[Keymaker]

I feel your pain. I was the top sales rep in my Division. Now I am near the bottom. Even though my symptoms are cleared up I still have visual issues. People act surprised when I relate my story to them, which I hardly ever do.

[willwork4tears]

Yeah, I've noticed that there is a stigma with certain diseases, i.e. depression, fibromyalgia, sjogrens, DES, etc, but not with others. When was the last time someone with MS or Parkinsons had to justify their disease? What, an autoimmune disorder of the central nervous system is "real" but an autoimmune disorder of moisture producing glands is "all in my head"???

It seems to me that the assumptions are based on what people can physically see. It's easy to see a limp from MS or Parkinsons, but difficult or impossible to see muscle pain from fibromyalgia, eye pain from DES or fatigue from Lupus.

If they can't "see" it then it must not be there. One obvious exception to this rule is cancer. You can't see cancer most of the time, but it's ok b/c everyone knows cancer is a 'real' disease.

[irish eyes]

I haven't read this book but it describes a struggle with another `controversial' illness - chronic fatigue syndrome.

It's called Although Encounters with the Invisible - it's the author's account of her struggle with the condition.

Dorothy Wall talks about her illness:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2D9JfQZwxMs

[Stanza]

It's very exhausting.

i.e. depression, fibromyalgia, sjogrens, DES, etc, but not with others. When was the last time someone with MS or Parkinsons had to justify their disease?

apparently psychologists have discovered this and it's something to do with us still having too much belief in the scientific proof for everything, it's hard to prove M.E (chronic fatigue syndrome) thus it's hard to provide medicine for and it falls through the cracks.

or something like that.

I have spent 2 years now convincing people I have TMJ disorder for example, and failing and getting withering looks, 2 years wasted because people don't listen to me because they've never 'seen it' before.

[Guest]

Thanks for the replies all!

So far I'm lucky that there are still some co-workers left that I've worked with for years, who seem to be understanding... they know what kind of worker I was BEFORE Lasik, so that helps at least...

What concerns me more is my regional manager... I'm trying my best to make him understand so that this dry-eye thing doesn't affect his opinion of my work ethic... but I just don't know if he understands...

And when I do relief work in stores where they don't know me at ALL, I KNOW that I have to keep my guard up, lest they think I'm inefficient or lazy if I don't get everything done by the end of my shift...

Argh... I sure hope my eyes get better so I can get back to my old self - then they'll forget all about my less productive years...

[Guest]

If they can't "see" it then it must not be there.

So true... and my wearing Lacriserts makes it worse in a way... they don't see me putting drops in every 30 minutes anymore... and they can't see my "invisible" Lacriserts... so I look much more normal than before (when I'm not wearing goggles or MEGS anyhow)

I was talking with a colleague at work the other day - this was right at the start of my shift... just past noon... I'd just put in my Lacriserts 2 hours prior to that, hadn't done anything to strain my eyes yet that day, had only been out of goggles for 5 minutes, and had just put in a dose of Theratears - my eyes were feeling good, looking good, and drippy (happiness is!) Mind you, I was blinking a million times per minute to keep them that way, but oh well...

Anyhow, my colleague asked about my eyes, and when I updated him on my dryness problems, he says "It looks like you're making lots of tears..." It seemed to me as though the notion that my eyes could just CRASH by the end of my shift was unfathomable to him...

It's weird... my eyes can be nice and wet with a fresh Lacrisert, but by the end of the day, if I'm not careful to pace myself, my left eye just STOPS making tears. This happened in an extreme way again last week - I was frustrated with everything, so I indulged in a good cry - my right eye was pouring tears, but my left barely made ANYTHING - it just got red, with an occasional tear leaking out. Now THAT is just WRONG... I mean honestly... the least my crazy eyes could do is reliably make tears if I need a good cry!

Anyhow, it's strange stuff like this that no-one except you guys understands... man...

[cristiandryeyes]

I can feel your pain, it takes a lot of effort from us to accomplish even the simplest things in this condition. Obviously, it's gonna be a lot harder to keep up the good work and everyone is gonna point at you, blame you or call you lazy.

No evil lasts forever. I don't know how or when but at certain point, we have to get better. It's not fair

[liz56]

One of the hardest things about this condition is feeling so isolated, because everyone thinks that you look normal, but you have so much pain. When everyone is ready to go out after work, all I want to do is go home, so that I can keep my eyes shut. I'm not even tired, but my eyes hurt so much that I have to keep closing them. Still air actually hurts!

I'm glad and sorry to know that I am not alone. Thanks SAAG, and I hope that your regional manager can understand at some point.

--Liz

[Guest]

I'm glad and sorry to know that I am not alone. Thanks SAAG, and I hope that your regional manager can understand at some point.

--Liz

I'm glad and sorry too that I'm not alone!

I don't think my regional manager is a bad guy... but I suppose he must hear so much whining and complaining from people that it must be hard to tell the difference between a legitimate complaint and a phony one at times... I know my problem sounds so flaky to most people... anyhow, hopefully if he doesn't know that my eye problems are legit now, he will in time ...

I so hate having to try to explain it to him... I just want to be normal.

[Guest]

No evil lasts forever. I don't know how or when but at certain point, we have to get better.

I sure hope you're right!

And if you're wrong, then my plan B is to find a way to live somewhere humid and tropical where everyone wears sunglasses 24/7, there is no wind, no A/C, and lots of ice for cold compresses! haha

[irish eyes]

Having to `justify' it to employers can be tricky if you tick the `disability' box on the application / job acceptance form.

I accept that doctors' letters etc are necessary but some of the other questions!!! When you mention eyes, most people can only think glasses

My employers are very good really but the HR department could only see `red flags' with me and worried about being sued when I asked for a better computer screen. They were like headless chickens, demanding evidence and advice from all kinds of experts.

It was horrible for me at the time but I was stood by the fact that one doctor's letter was sufficient and then any other `expert' advice had to come from me - as I was the one with the funny eyes . I got the screen but it was some battle.

[Arj]

I sure hope you're right!

And if you're wrong, then my plan B is to find a way to live somewhere humid and tropical where everyone wears sunglasses 24/7, there is no wind, no A/C, and lots of ice for cold compresses! haha

From my knowledge San Francisco is quite humid, but I think its more to do with the 'local' climate control, like what room and building has their heaters and air-con on rather than the greater regional conditions.

As for your work, get a doctors statement, I just got one yesterday for my school.

Keep fighting
Arj

[Guest]

Good news! I spoke with my Regional about the issue I needed an exemption from and he was very understanding. Thank goodness! I was so stressed about this thing at work, and I've been granted an exemption... Now at least it will be left up to me to complete this particular task as I am able to, rather than feeling pressure to do it when my eyes can't handle it.

I'm glad it was resolved without my needing to get a doctors note... My doc would have given me one for sure, but it's nice to be trusted without one.

[DryEyeSurvivor26]

Good news indeed SAAG! Glad you can breathe a little bit more easily now.