Control over Anxiety??

[Jasper]

Hi All,

Has anyone here had luck with controlling anxiety/depression without taking drugs? I don't like taking medication and I'm scared that it will make things worse ... but I need to do something!

My heart has been racing throughout the day at work and I get butterflies in my stomach. Then the tears fall and I can't control it. All I think about is the future ... what will I feel like when I'm 40, 50? Will I be able to work?

I can't hide in my office all day so eventually people see my face with dried tears. For the life of me I can't get a grip on this anxiety! Does anyone else experience this?

I'm fine one day and a complete basket case the next. Before my eyes were bad I was a happy person ... I always had something to look forward to. There was always something to talk and laugh about. Now it is just eyes, eyes, eyes. Will it ever end?

I don't want to sound like a whiner all the time. I'm trying my best to keep my chin up. Any suggestions?

[msienkiewicz]

I was able to pull through my darkest hours without medication, but I did see a Christian counselor who was very helpful in facing my fears and seeing the patterns in my thinking. With her help for about 3 months, I was able to break free of the despair.

I would advise talking to someone who can help you work through things. Even my eyes have improved as I no longer focus on them.

Best wishes,
You can do this,
Melissa

[Guest]

I also was able to get through my most depressed times without meds. For me, the one thing that made the biggest difference was forcing myself to NOT think of the future. I had to force myself to NOT think of all the what if's. Also, I finally had to FORCE myself to not cry...well maybe I'd indulge in a good cry once every few weeks... but seriously... I had to just not allow it for the most part.

I just couldn't allow myself to think of the future because inevitably, my thoughts would turn to the exact kinds of fears you describe... wondering about all of the most horrible possibilities for how my eyes might be in future...

So, on my worst days, I could plan ahead no more than the next hour... on better days, maybe I'd think of tomorrow... but that was it. Luckily, my eyes have sloooooowly improved to the point that I can finally think of the future without guaranteeing myself a renewed bout of tears and depression.

Also what helped me was listening to audiobooks. I especially liked the ones where the character was in a WAY worse situation than I was... made me feel like maybe I wasn't so bad off after all.

It just takes time. When at your worst you pretty much have to just think of the must-do's... go into survival mode... take every chance you get to baby your eyes, even if it means the house falls apart! Odds are in your favour that in time, things will get better... even MUCH better! Remember that!

Hopefully you can get through without meds too... but if worst case you have to try them, then just see what happens... not everyone gets the side effects!

[Jasper]

Melissa,

I am seeing a counselor now so maybe after a few more months things will start to turn around. She is actually a cancer survivor so she can relate with some of my fears. Thanks for your advice.

SAAG,

My main problem are the "what ifs" ... What if I wake up tomorrow with an erosion, what if my vision becomes affected and I lose my job and my house, what if I get another infection... what if? I know that things wouldn't be half as bad if I could just get a grip on my emotions and irrational thoughts. Maybe I will be able to force myself to let it all go like you did ... with time.

I want to think positive ... I really do ... but in the last year I've spent one day every week in a doctors office and have yet to find ANY relief. Things are much worse actually (except for the fact that I don't have SLK anymore). I have a Schirmer score of 0 ... there is no moisture in my eyes. As Restasis didn't work for me how will it get better? I guess this is where the anxiety takes over ... tear production is my biggest problem and the only drug available doesn't help me.

I hear what your saying about the situations much worse than yours. That is one thing that does give me comfort ... thinking about what I still do have. Just last night I watched a story on the local news about two young women who lost their lives in a traffic accident. After I saw the story I felt guilty for being so down about my eyes.

It's funny that you should mention letting the house fall apart. Before this I was a clean freak ... everything had it's place and you better put it there or else! As I type this I'm looking at the pile of dishes that I left in the sink from dinner last night. The dryer alarm went off 15 minutes ago so all the clothes are wrinkled now. Oh well!!

Also, there is one more thing that calms my nerves but unfortunatley I can't have them at work. I love animals ... dogs, cats, horses. Cats in particular. I have a male cat named Jasper , and I think he knows when I'm at my worst because he lays right next to me or on my lap. He also tries to lay on my laptop when I'm posting ....

Alright, I'll shut up now ...this post is too long.

Thanks for your words of encouragement!

[Guest]

My main problem are the "what ifs" ... What if I wake up tomorrow with an erosion, what if my vision becomes affected and I lose my job and my house, what if I get another infection... what if? I know that things wouldn't be half as bad if I could just get a grip on my emotions and irrational thoughts. Maybe I will be able to force myself to let it all go like you did ... with time.

I know... this is one of the hardest things to deal with. You'll be able to learn to stop thinking of all the "what if's" though... it just takes practice

I hear what your saying about the situations much worse than yours. That is one thing that does give me comfort ... thinking about what I still do have.

Yeah... I listened to the book "Infidel" by Ayaan Hirsi Ali... when listening to it, I could honestly say I'd rather be me with my psycho eye problems than be her... it was crazy the life she's had!

In another book I listed to, "Earth Abides" I think was the name of it, this guy is out in the middle of nowhere, gets bitten by a rattlesnake, and when he regains consciousness, he makes his way back to his home. It turns out that while he was unconscious, almost everyone in the entire world died from a mysterious illness... Needless to say, I'd rather be me than HIM too! Mind you, this one was pure fiction, but still... made my life look positively perfect compared to his.

Just last night I watched a story on the local news about two young women who lost their lives in a traffic accident. After I saw the story I felt guilty for being so down about my eyes.

No need to feel guilty for being down about your eyes... I think almost ANYONE who has experienced severe dry eye is going to feel down about it at one time or another.

love animals ... dogs, cats, horses. Cats in particular. I have a male cat named Jasper , and I think he knows when I'm at my worst because he lays right next to me or on my lap. He also tries to lay on my laptop when I'm posting ....

I totally know what you mean!

I have a 90ish lb German Shepard... he gives good hugs haha... it's weird how an animal who can't even talk to us can give us such comfort! Plus, just having him around following me everywhere is kind of comforting in and of itself... don't know why exactly... oh well!