Anxiety / Depression

[Margaret]

Hi everyone,

I am having a very bad eye night so can't write much, but I'm trying with all my might to get over my anxiety and depression that has taken over my life. Does anyone have any advice? I take Lorazepam sporatically to get me over my panic attacks and I'm starting an antidepressant. I just get hung up with 1. the hour by hour feeling that I have with my eyes (constant attention, adjusting, etc.) 2. worry about the future, will tomorrow be worse? How will i get through tomorrow if it's worse? What do I do, so I try warm compress, do I try new tears, etc.

I'm 5 months out, newly diagnosed today with MGD which may be attributed to occular rosacea (they just can't seem to decide). I have no pain per se, used to last month, but now it's eye strain in the upper eyelid tissue that makes it very difficult to keep them open all day. i will try heat tonight but just read a thread that if I think I might have rosacea then that's not a good idea. Very confusing and worrisome as to what my next move is.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Margaret

[angelicab]

anxiety depression

Margaret I feel such empathy with you. I too have dry eye associated with ocular rosacea. I completely understand how depressing this is ( dealing with the rosacea is bad enough). Im not sure about going down the route of anti depressants though, especially as yours is a fairly recent diagnosis.
These are losses that affects our self esteem it is normal to feel sadness and go through a process of adjustment . personally I dont want to feel that my legitimate feelings are being medicated. I know its really tough, hope this helps

[angelicab]

hello all

Probably shouldve introduced myself before posting a reply.. oops not very good at this. been watching the posts for a while too chicken to get involved. but was compelled today to respond to Margaret's plea

I was diagnosed june 2009 with dry eye associated with ocular rosacea. didnt realise I had a problem till severe eye infection resulted in painful light sensitive corneal ulcers which were twice misdiagnosed as 'iritis' by my doctor,resulting in permanent damage to my eyesight.
after antibiotic treatment for the infection was advised to use hot compresses twice a day plus preservative free tear drops, and lacrilube at night to prevent recurrence.
this year the condition has worsened so that I needed to put artificial tears in every 20 mins.The opthalmologist said that even if I follow the cleansing regime drops etc a recurrence is inevitable!! and to increase the cleansing to 4 times per day, (which is so convenient!)
I reached a very low point , considered taking my own life. the pressure of trying to prevent another ulcer was intolerable.
As a visual artist and photographer, the impact on my quality of life has been huge. I now need glasses and shades after having perfect eyesight all my life.
This may I was given punctal plugs which helped a bit. the drops prescribed to me now, hylo-forte are the best Ive tried and, believe me, I have tried a lot.
I use lacrilube at night but its uncomfortable and nights are hard.
If it looks like my eye is red or irritated I know its really important to try to prevent another ulcer from forming as it can happen really quick.. the last one developed while in the eye emergency waiting room. to help with this I use prednisolone 0.5% drops to stop the eye from overreacting.
Im now trying to follow the advice of my eye consultant (you'll just have to get used to it)... sensitivity and empathy not being their strong point... and trying to reach a point of acceptance. Im in training to be a psychotherapist.

best advice Ive found apart from your good selves is good hope eye dept www.goodhope.org.uk

ps. driving long distances seems impossible, any advice gratefully received thanks for listening

[Perception]

Margaret,

I feel for you. As stated in another thread you posted in, I'm 4+ months post Lasik. I do have dry eye, but no specific diagnosis - so I can't comment on what may be better for MGD versus rosacia. I have felt improvement recently though. What seems to be working for me is (a) Restasis 2x day in both eyes, (b) lower plug only in right eye, (c) Dwelle drops at bed time, (d) goggles while sleeping, (e) Oasis Tears during the day, (f) Fish Oil/Flax Seed Oil. After having these in place and doing this routine consistently for a while, I've been able to decrease the day time drops to once every 2 to 3 hours while at work (on the computer a lot), and sometimes less frequently when not at work.

I have a host of other vision related issues I'm dealing with too - Dry Eye, now that it's under control, has taken a back seat in comparison. PM me if you'd like to discuss those. Because of the difficulty dealing with all this at once, I have been seeing a therapist for a couple months. I tried an anti-depressant for only a couple weeks, but ended up in the ER with chest pains, so stopped taking it. Luckily, since stopping the meds, I still feel mentally better than before taking them. As said in my other post, I think this is in part due to information I continue to gather from others that have gone through this before... How there are options for the future should some of these problems not resolve on their own.

Take Care.

[Sammy B.]

Margaret,

Worrying about the future at a time like this is completely normal.

I have been where you are with the big, black ball of hatred growing every day, almost to the point where I could barely swallow. It took months of digging but I am out of that hole and you will get there too.

Do I still have crappy days where I wish I had a time machine? Absolutely. But it is not longer all-consuming.

We are all pulling for you.

Rose

[Margaret]

Thanks everyone for your thoughts. It's hard to have no control over your situation, you know? Will try to have a good day today...

[Súil Eile]

Hi Margaret,

Your post really spoke to me as I've just started taking anti-depressant/ anti-anxiety medication last week. The stresses and strains of 5 years of dry eye eventually got to me. So I know that dark and scary place...particularly when it comes to worrying about the future. I was made redundant and went back to college. Now I'm having trouble finishing my thesis because of my eyes, everyone else in my class is finished, and I'm trying to figure out what career I can have with dry eye.

As with you, part of my problem is a lack of diagnosis! At least if I knew the cause I think I could at least feel I was tackling it.

It's a long road, with ups and downs. I've had more ups thanks to family and friends. Things will change, thigs will get different. I've had to learn to try not to control everything as there is no predicting what can happen. Which is hard as I'm a control freak! I'm trying some breathing exercises to try and control those moments of panic.

My thoughts are with you and I hope you have a good eye day today!

[rooneyandfergie]

Hi Margaret,

I totally understand what you are going through. I had tons of uncomfortable symptoms since developing dry eyes. They include red eyes, dry eye pain, twitchy eyelids, pain in brow areas, sinus issues and allergies.

I have been having that for 10 months now. And the improvement has been very very very minor and slow. It improves slowly and fluctuates in the bad and good periods along the way. There's not a day that goes by without me thinking about my eyes. So i guess a big part of dry eyes is to accept it. When you start the process of acceptance it perhaps helps somewhat. I struggle to do that myself though.

Anyway hopefully you find out what works for yourself and find improvement with the condition soon

[angelicab]

so sorry Margaret

realise should have posted my introduction bit elsewhere sorry bout that..
havent done this forum business before.
hope you re feeling little brighter now.

[Raginator]

My condition is mild and not severe.
But here goes:

I went through the anxiety and panic attacks and worrying for a few months after my procedure.

As I was "healing" my condition fluctuated.
Therefore, what helped me was this: I tried not to worry about the future. Instead, I tried to live in the "here and now."
So, when my eyes wouldn't bother me as much, I tried to focus on the present rather than the future. I would enjoy a good meal, an entertaining TV show or good company.

Right now, as I type this, my eye condition is barely noticeable. I enjoyed a good Thanksgiving meal, it's cold outside and my heater is running.
Could my eyes become irritated next week? Perhaps. Could they bother me in a few weeks? Probably. But... I prefer not to think about it and live for the moment.