How do you manage your emotional well-being?

[Ctane]

I realise there's basically a thread for every occasion on the page already but I thought I'd start this discussion in my own way, if that's alright :P

I've had a severe dry eye condition since I finished a course of Accutane six and a half years ago. I've gone through the works and most recently ended my use of Restasis early this year after that seemed to make things worse rather than better. My main concern with the whole ordeal is my lack of productivity whether it be at University or maintaining friendships. This has recently taken an even more exciting turn for the horrible as my secondary anxiety has reached new heights.

I've had some degree of anxiety for years but basically palmed it off into the unknown because I felt I just had enough to deal with let alone another medical angle to follow up. I tended to ignore it completely, never acknowledging it and it forever getting worse. This year I've hit a new low whereby I get physically sick from this subconscious anxiety I can't seem to control. The first occasion was when I was due to visit my relatives, on an air-conditioned train seven hours out into the country. I didn't make the booking, losing a few bucks and re-booking for the next day. This happened on the way home as well. I've since found I get riddled with anxiety and get ill whenever I have to be somewhere that isn't my relatively cosy, still-air room. It's now grown into its own beast because I don't even need to 'fear' eye related outings, just the sheer pressure of being somewhere or having a commitment with someone to do something is enough to make me freak out.

Since the latest developments I finally concluded a psych is in order, lol. I've since been, sporadically, showing up to her appointments with, I'd like to at least say, mixed results. Really though, it's been worse. Apart from having more on my mind as a result of drudging up all these great feelings and looking apprehensively forward to my next appointment with her, I've found I can't really express the eyes to her just as I find with anyone else. I often say, it's not like I'm missing a leg. It isn't easy to express my experiences to others. The same has applied to the psych. With regard to my anxiety she's talked about increasing "exposure", etc. She wants me to do this and that, go out more. It makes sense, but I find it physically hard to do this. Similarly, I find it hard to tell her this without getting shifty looks. She tries to empathise, as you'd expect any good psych to do, but I feel she just doesn't get it. It makes me wonder, is anxiety something I just have to live with in tandem? My eyes have made me a much more isolated, hermit of a person. To me, this has come out of necessity as a natural evolution and adaption of my circumstances. Ah, I could go on but if you get what I mean.. you get what I mean.

I'd love to hear any thoughts on my little rant, haha. Equally, if anyone can tell me of their similar experience with this eyes -> anxiety mix that'd be great. If you support a more cognitive behavioural therapy approach or medication that too would be interesting to hear about, with your reasoning.

edit: I just realised I kinda deviated from the original subject line :P I'm actually happy to hear about how anyone avoided going down this path as well. Overall, I'd just like to hear experiences.

[Onaclearday]

Wellbeing

Ctane
I understand your anxiety. I am currently considering a two day business trip and can't seem to overcome worry about how just about everything will effect by eyes. The eyes are such a sensitive and important organ. I would say it is perfectly normal, given the circumstances for you to have worry and anxiety. I also respect that you are seeking a counsellor for support and guidance. I think you are right, it is difficult for others without this condition to completely understand, a professional that you connect with is so important. I don't have a lot of time right now to offer suggestions for dealing with anxiety (at least give you an idea about what I do), but I will post something further on the weekend. I just wanted to check in and let you know someone can relate.

[Shogan]

The mental and emotional effects of dry eyes can be more agonizing and painful the the physical effects. In dealing with the emotional/mental side you can really learn to manage, to find hope, and to just keep putting one foot in front. And I mean that quite literally.

Regarding my experience: I have always been highly physically active. I run 15 miles a week, I used to do the P90x program (now just pick and choose with segments), go to the gym with a friend once or twice a week. I am firm believer that being productive and active can help with the emotional strains. I have always been one to get anxious if I procrastinate or stray from my work out routine. I can't fully explain it. I just know the human body (just like all animal life) is meant to be active and engaged. When I am at the gym with my friend I rarely think about my eyes, and when I do while there, my eyes feel great. That short bit of escape is a wonderful emotional treatment.

I am proponent of exercise and the active lifestyle not just for its physical benefits but for the emotional impacts. You can interpret that however you like: biking, swimming, rock climbing at the local Y, walking, yoga. Whatever suits you.

Best of luck.

[Súil Eile]

The mental and emotional effects of dry eyes can be more agonizing and painful the the physical effects...

...I am proponent of exercise and the active lifestyle not just for its physical benefits but for the emotional impacts...

I completely agree with this! I find a long walk outdoors is the best form of relief for me. If I have my sunglasses on, I might get away with not having to use drops. The fresh air and exercise are great for escapism and general well being. I also have a dog that gets up to highly amusing antics on walks...laughter is great medicine

[GinaJ]

For me it has been a journey so to speak with a lot of ups and downs. Also a lot of trial and error what helps and what does not. Over a short period of time I was dx with peripheral neuropathy,rsd which causes extreme pain in my legs and limits my ability to get around plus severe dry eye and blepheritis that at times the pain causes me to cry from pain. I also had other health problems. So much happening to a young body and not knowing the why behind it even with extensive dx testing it sent me into an anxious,fearful mess.
For a long time I was against seeing a psychiatrist. I had been before my health condition with little benefit and with this I thought fix my physical pain and mentally I would be better. This was not happening so finally I went to the psych and got on meds and also did biofeedback. I also started some self help work.
I still have anxiety and fear but overall better. I try to stay in the day and do what I can to get through that day in the best way. I also try to self talk and do calming things when I start to get anxious and upset. Doing things like deep breathing,taking a bath,talking to a friend can help. My pain doctor would say this to me on the bad days do the best you can and on the better days do the most you can. Anyhow not sure this is any help. I hope things look up soon.

[socratese]

its hard for people like me who are young, trying to start college, trying to form relationships, accomplish my first adult goals, no career yet. I have so much life ahead of me. now it just looks like I have a lot of years of a lot pain and frustration ahead of me.
I have a hard time with the pain from the eyes. I have other health problems but nothing else that causes bad chronic pain. I can't imagine it being worse, I couldn't cope if I did have more chronic pains.

Ginaj is a strong person to handle all these multiple pains and real problems. It's amazing how many people get so flustered because of stupid simple problems in life.
You haven't had a real problem until you have personally experienced chronic disease and pain.

[irish eyes]

..... It's amazing how many people get so flustered because of stupid simple problems in life. You haven't had a real problem until you have personally experienced chronic disease and pain.

I have to be so careful to keep thoughts to myself when I hear one of my colleagues complain about mundane banalities. She is fortunate to have excellent health and she is a LOVELY person but she drives me mad when she moans about not being able to get the household chores during the week. I get the distinct feeling I'm meant to feel sympathy.

My chores might get done or they might not. In terms of human priorities, some needs are more important or urgent than others - and physiological needs must be met first. Having plenty of rest, or having a good laugh....are all more important than having a pristine house - not that I wouldn't like that as well but in the bigger scheme of things, I can live with a compromise.

[GinaJ]

scoratese I am not a strong person but I thank you for that compliment. It means a lot. It has been a long process to get to the mental state I am at now and I still have more work ahead. I do feel that people with a positive outlook cope and heal better with health conditions. It is hard to feel positive when one hurts so much but I am trying. I think when a person is faced with more problems somehow you have to come up with the strength to fight. You can still have all those things you listed in your future such as relationships,career it just takes one doctor or one treatment to help give you relief and in combo you may have to learn to do things in a different manner. At the pain clinic I was at we tried to work on ways on doing things in a different manner with our condition and also learning new skills or hobbies to replace the things we can't do.
Irish I can relate to friends and complaints about their life or pain. What I try to do is remind myself that each person pain or struggles impacts their life and is a struggle. I look back at before my health problems and I was depressed and I think now what did I have to be depressed about but back then those struggles were big. It is all relative I guess. I very much agree that one has to focus on their health and what gets them through the day in the best way.
Sorry for this novel. In no way am I making this sound easy. Trust me I have my break downs and days of feeling hopeless. I hope everyone has a better pain day

[Guest]

I can relate to the anxiety of going out. For myself, the anxiety stems from not wanting everyone to see me as this strange person with irritated eyes and strange eyewear. As everyone here knows, to appear normal, it means NOT protecting our eyes as well as we should.

To appear normal, I'd have to wear makeup as before, not be squinty, not wear moisture chambers, not sneak around turning off people's ceiling fans when no-one is looking etc.

I find it's huge weight off my shoulders when I just get it over with and let people see what I actually have to do to stay comfortable. The biggest thing for me is wearing moisture chambers - I wear my custom ones at work and when out with friends (I even have some friends who get all motherly on me and tell me I should make sure I wear them when I come out with them! haha), I wear my Wiley sunglasses when running errands (I even wear them indoors at places like Costco!) etc. I've had to really work hard on NOT feeling self-conscious in my moisture chambers... I just try to pretend I'm NOT wearing them (stupid as that sounds)... it helps me to feel more like myself, and not obsess with worry over my appearance etc.

I still haven't broken the barrier of wearing my moisture chambers indoors at family events though... that's the one last thing I really should just force myself to get over... then I'll be all set! Family is the hardest for me, because if they see me in moisture chambers they look so sad and worried... I hate seeing that.

[Michael2]

you may be way beyond and past this, but...

i find that anti-anxiety medicine is really effective for me. before this, i would have said no way to medication, i thought it was for people with weird psychological problems

but i find now, that without anxiety meds, my mind over thinks things, i start feeling bad for myself, and i start panicking...i think alot of that might be the natural response to pain. but chronic pain is a different animal cause it doesn't go away readily. anti-anxiety meds help me calm down and get through the day much better.

[GinaJ]

I really agree about the anxiety and or depression meds. For me it did not take away my pain but has helped cope with it and keep my moods more rational and level.

[Súil Eile]

My pain doctor would say this to me on the bad days do the best you can and on the better days do the most you can.

I really love this! I think I'm going to write it on a post-it .

After 5 years of dry eye and bleph I've finally resorted to anti-anxiety meds for the first time. Now at least I don't have to worry about the symptoms of anxiety. But perhaps most importantly, it has made me face the fact that my eyes are affecting my life more than I'd like and sometimes I'll have to do things differently to accomodate them. I'm very wary of becoming obsessed over my eyes...they are not what I want my life to be. But when they are bad, I'm now letting myself wallow a little and that helps. Plus letting family and friends now what I'm going through is a big thing!

In short, if anti-anxiety meds make my life a little easier...bring them on

[alisonW]

Same for me Súil Eile. After dealing with chronically dry, red eyes for almost 7years now, and feeling so insecure about it (people always asking and wondering why they're red), I finally got anti-anxiety meds too (last week). For the past few years my anxiety has increased to the point that it was really affecting my life negatively. I had never had these issues before so kept thinking they were just a phase and they'd go away. Now I realize that it's better to get help then to suffer needlessly. Dealing with my eye issues is enough of a battle.

[Súil Eile]

Dealing with my eye issues is enough of a battle.

Hear hear!!