Extremely depressed- blepharitis and going back to school Thursday

[mary108]

Hi everyone,
I'm 16 years old, lately I haven't really posted much but its been a looong summer dealing with all this. As far as the MGD goes with making my eyes dry etc, the eye doctor seemed to take care of that with plugs and all sorts of drops. The biggest thing right now though for me is the lid pain. I just went to the eye doctor 2 days ago and told him that and he said that there are some clogged oil glands around the eyelashes but doesnt want to put me on an antibiotic ointment or whatever right now because I've already been given quit a few in the past.
Last night was the worst. I felt absolutly terrible and had a breakdown about having to go back to school on Thursday like this. My lids hurt badly throughout the day and because I cried so much last night its 10x worse today and they are very swollen. Alot of my eyelashes are missing and I was also worried about taking the school picture upon returning to school. I was hoping sooooo much that I'd have this cleared better before school started again.
I've had alot of anxiety in the past over many things and alot of self image issues. I know being depressed and panicking about things makes my eye issues worse, but i don't know what to do anymore...I was under alot of stress before I even got this condition so i know for a fact that was definatly a trigger. I already see a counsler but so far that is barely any help.
I'm even looking into natural remedies to help clear this up. Does anyone know anything that could help??? Absolutly ANYthing would be greatly appreciated!! I've already read some fairly good things on things such as castor oil, chamomile and other teas, eyebright, and just other vitamins etc. I do warm compresses a couple times a day and keep up with cleaning my lids. I'm really at a loss and I feel like I look terrible and I'm furious with myself for putting this on myself. (Almost every medical condition I've had within the last few years have all been triggered by stress and anxiety)
Please, if anyone can help, I would be greatly appreciative!! Thank you so much!!
-Mary

[mary108]

anyone??? please???

[jadavispcfl]

help

First of all, has your doctor done any testing? What is his diagnosis? At your age, I have to wonder if there is anything underlying with MGD. You are very young to be having these problems. If your doctor has not ruled out other problems, then you need to find a doctor that will. I don't know where you live, but if you live in a big city, then there may be a chance to find someone that is a specialist with dry eye.

You should also be taking Omega 3 supplements (fish oil/flaxseed oil). They take a few months to kick in. Also, you could wear moisture chamber goggles at night. They seal in moisture for your eyes, so they don't feel stuck together in the morning. Some people have a problem with their eyelids not closing all the way at night, and their eyes dry out. I wear Onyix (1-888-730-7999). Are you using preservative-free lubricants? If you're not you should try them. I had a problem with the preservative types for a while. You should also never use an eye whitener (like the original Visine). I did that and it caused the veins in my eyes to protrude (I had surgery to correct this). These are just some ideas.

There is also a book to help you understand more about dry eye called "Reversing Dry Eye Syndrome". What I can tell you is that this is a very frustrating condition, and it is different for every person. You will have to be a partner with your doctor, and help him/her find out what your underlying reasons are for you. It might take seeing more than one doctor.

[Hopeful2]

Hi Mary,

I know that anxiety is a trigger for me with my dry eye symptoms. I guess I have always been a worrier, even as a young child. If there was something to worry about, I would find it. If you think that anxiety is triggering your symptoms, I suggest that you talk to your doctor and counsellor. If you are looking for natural treatments, it might be a good idea to connect with a Naturopathic doctor. This is a doctor who uses herbs, nutrition, and life style modification techniques to treat illness. Naturopaths have access to herbal anti-anxiety treatments, e.g. passion flower makes for a relaxing tea. Also, you may want to ask your care providers about anxiety reduction techniques. Something that might be worth looking into is a biofeedback therapy that teaches you to recognize the early signs of an anxiety trigger and teaches you how to react appropriately. Your care providers would be able to offer more information.

Your friends will accept you however you look. . . get a good support group together at school. Find a buddy that can take notes for you when your eyes are sore or when you are away. If the work load becomes an issue go and talk to your teachers. Also, talk to your school guidance counsellors now. They may have access to tools and supports that have not been accessed yet. Sometimes a key is to find the 'right' therapist. You need to feel that you can say anything to the therapist without fear of being judged. If nothing else, getting your anxiety under control may help to cope better with your eyes.

Hope this is helpful. . . Keep asking questions. You have a lot going for you by just finding and using this web site. I don't know of many 16 year olds who would be able to take such proactive steps. Good for you Mary!

Take care,
bella_girl

[bunnyrabbit123]

Mary,
You are in Philadelphia. Try to get an appt at Scheie eye institute. They have a state of the art dry eye clinic there. If anyone can help you, it's this place.

[markdav]

When I was in high school one girl had eye problems and she wore sunglasses.
Ppl got used to her very quickly and nobody bothered her.

I can kinda understand what you feel. Im 19 and doing my 3rd year at uni.I wear sunglasses most of the time.I just ordered tranquileyes since they look more normal than motorcycle glasses.

You can msg me if you want

[mgshutterbug]

Hi Mary,
I also give you kudos for finding this site, and asking for what you need. I think that's hard for alot of us. But being an active member of this website will give you alot of support, and information. Here, you also have people who fully understand what you're going through. I agree that you need a good diagnostician to find out why you have Dry Eye at your age. Sounds like there are excellent resources in your area to do that. I'd suggest writing down your questions, as well as your fears, before going in to the appointment. I often forget what I had wanted to ask if I don't write it down and carry it with me actually in my hand when I see my doc. And bella_girl's suggestions that you find a buddy to take notes, when you're eyes aren't up to it is a great thought, as is talking with your teachers and counselor at school. And as for therapists, speaking from experience, if you don't click with the therapist you have, then moving on to find another is the best bet. And being patient is hard while you're looking. I wish you well. Maria

[MaryVa61]

Mary,

I'm so sorry you're going through this so young! My eye problems were very mild in high school but I was still teased by other students about my red eyes and it was really upsetting to me. Hang in there. High school doesn't last forever, thank goodness.

I hope you have an adult (parent or other adult) who is with you in the exam room on your eye doctor appts and who advocates for you. Sometimes I feel like I need that (at age 50!) when I'm a basket case because having a bad time with my eyes. I think the pain, frustration and desperation turns my mind to mush and I don't communicate well with doctors when my eyes are at their worst.

If you haven't seen an allergist or seen a dermatologist for skin disorders that can affect the lids, you may want to do that. Allergy skin patch tests may be helpful. They really were for me. I was allergic to some chemicals in a lot of toiletries and household cleaners (formaldehyde and formaldehyde-releasing agents, under numerous different names). I had to get those out of my house. Cosmetics tend to have ingredients that are irritants, and for sensitive people (including people with dryness) those will irritate your eyes, adding to your other existing eye irritation problem, even if you don't have true allergy to those. My allergist says people with dryness (skin, eyes, mouth or mucus membranes) tend to be sensitive to irritants even if not allergic, because moisture (saliva, prespiration, tears, etc.) is protective and necessary. Just a thought.

If you happen to have acne, acne cleansers and ointments can really be rough on the eyes. I would wash them off at bedtime and always be careful to stay far away from eyes. I had a terrible reaction to those, with eyes that looked like a swamp monster, when I awoke on the morning before my high school graduation.

Also experimenting with lid scrub techniques and products was extremely helpful to me. I do best with Ocusoft plus foaming lid cleanser. But that may be because I'm allergic to something in the others, so what works for you may be a different one.

Fish oil and flax oil turned out to be extremely helpful to me at double the dose healthy people would use, and started helping in only 4-6 weeks. My favorite is Barlean's Omega Swirl because it tastes good so I'm more compliant with taking it daily. At first it seemed to cause some blurred vision, but the blurriness wouldn't last long and didn't really interfere with my life.

I hope you find some relief soon. I love that you're so pro-active in looking for help for yourself. If you keep looking, you'll find it.

Mary in VA

[mary108]

Hi everyone,
Thank you sooo much for all your responses!!!! I cannot thank you enough. What's really frustrating at this point is the fact that, my parents are treating this like there is absolutly nothing wrong and the pain is all in my head anymore. I'm supposed to see the eye doctor back in about 2 months time and I still have plugs inserted but my eyes arnt really red at all anymore. It's mostly the pain on my lid from blepharitis (and slight burning but rarely anymore assuming because of the plugs) and also red outer corners from angular blepharitis. I even told my parents, "if my eyes are normal, why didn't he take out the plugs that are still inserted and why does he want to see me back??" it just makes no sense to me that they're treating me like I'm psycho symptomatic when I swear I'm not.
@jadavispcfl- no he did not check me for other conditions, I really want to find out if any of this is from allergies or something..
@bella_girl- going to a naturopathic dr would make me very happy but my parents would never be willing since they think this is al in my head.
@MaryVa61- thank you so much, I already take flaxseed supplements everyday and i use ocusoft but i just switched to ocusoft plus to see if i can get any relief from that

Again, thank you everyone for their responses, I really don't know what to do for the time being, I don't think I'll be able to go the next 2 months without seeing the eye doctor again..but I have no idea about anything anymore...

[Hopeful2]

Mary,

Sorry to hear about your parents response. Just curious, have you asked your parents to look at the DEZ site. You might want to share with them some of the information that you have found on this site. It might just add the 'credibility' that you are looking for. Sometimes parents have a tough time coming to terms with illness. Reading through some of the posts here might help them understand how painful dry eyes can be. Also, they might get more ideas on what type of treaments to pursue.

Keep talking with your parents. Also, please see your school guidance people and explain the situation to them. They might have some novel ideas.

Take care

[neve]

Hi Mary!

I've read your posts and I must tell you that I am extremely impressed with your maturity and your ability to advocate for yourself in order to get the help you need. And being on this forum is a great thing- we are all in the same boat, give or take a few differences in our conditions. Try not to let your parents get to you that much; I know how frustrating it is first hand. Just remember that anxiety, stress etc makes your physical well-being worse. So, try to chalk it up to non-DES people having very little understanding of what we go through. Just focus on yourself because you are doing an AWESOME JOB! I mean that. At 16, no way would I have been able to do what you are doing for yourself. If you feel you need to see the opth prior to 2 months time, tell your parents that you are in pain and you must go. That's it. Do you think it would help for the opth to speak with your parents so they can understand that this is not make-believe? If they do not go with you to appointments, I think it's a good idea for them to go, at least once and have opth explain to them what you are suffering with. Very frustrating.

I don't have any medical suggestions for you. Wish I did. I am in the process of totally not liking the opth I am seeing presently and searching for another. I seem to read that alot on this forum! The idea of a naturopathic doc is a great one; I myself have never gone but I am going to look into it. Keep advocating for yourself; your parents may come around and I think this type of doc could help.

I really just wanted to say that I admire your determination and your courage. Don't ever let anyone/anything get you down. You are doing great!!

Neve

[MaryVa61]

Mary,

I empathize. When my eyes started getting better in one way, and the eye itself was no longer red, there was still a lot of pain from allergies. The eye doc didn't believe me about the pain and actually laughed. I finally noticed that the inner side of the lower lids were blood red, and there was a sore that looked like a pimple inside, from the undiagnosed allergies. Now that the allergies are so much better the redness is gone. Have you looked? It's a visible problem, so if you have that your parents would be able to see it, especially if they compare to their own inner lids. People who don't have the problem have a hard time understanding the pain, especially when the eye itself isn't bloodshot.

I agree with the prior post. You're doing a great job advocating for yourself. It'll eventually pay off, though frustrating along the way.