Life Beyond this?

[vivian3090]

Hi everyone I'm 22 and really a newbie with this whole dry eye thing.

I will be very straightforward and say that it devestated me and put me in such a depressive mood I had to check myself into a hospital because I seriously wanted to end my life. At the time I felt that there was going to be no happy life for me; who would want to hire someone with red eyes all the time? and I felt that I was just not going to enjoy life, so why live?

I am a work in progress, I am going to a counselor, I am on medication for depression and anxiety. I have a long way to go, everyone says that I am either seeing that my eyes are red and if they are that I just need to accept it.

I feel that I am too young to be having this or dealing with this....but if there are people around my age: how are you handling all these emotions and feelings?

And to the people that have been dealing with this problems for a good amount of years....how did you cope, and make it through.

Is there light at the end of the tunnel?

[alisonW]

Honestly, you just take it one day at a time. Know that there are other people out there far worse-off then you/we are. You still have your sight - which is a lot. I remind myself of this everyday. It could be much worse - although in the moments of dealing with the extreme dryness, burning and pain, it's sometimes hard to realize this. I have lots of hope and faith that my eyes will be "normal" again sometime and that there will be a "cure" for us all. I would hate to not be around to see that day so I keep moving forward. {{HUGS}}

[Faith1989]

hey.
I'm also 22 and JUST got dry eye. I also have dealt with anxiety/depression issues for the last few years. I used to be a make-up artist until all this happened to me, and I had to let my passion go because of it. I know how you feel. I have tried almost every drop imaginable, every treatment (except Restasis) and I'm JUST starting to heal 8 months later. I have had times where I just wanted to give up to..Make sure you are seeing a good eye doctor and be sure to try different things, different treatments work for different ppl (keep in mind your eyes aren't the same as everyone elses, so if someone else has severe dry eye their whole life, doesn't mean you will) There is also a procedure I am saving for called I-BRITE. It is done in L.A. where an opthamologist whitens your eyes and removes redness. Keep in mind though, he will only do it if your eyes are otherwise healthy. Did any doctors tell you why you have dry eye?

[Guest]

Hi Vivian,

I've been dealing with this for years now and yes, it sucks. But, maybe you'll be lucky and things will get better for you... you never know!! And worst case, if this goes on longer than you'd like, you'll figure out a way to be happy anyways.

Don't compare yourself to "normal" people because you'll never win that one and it'll just make you feel worse... for me, it helps to remember how much worse things could be and to feel glad that at least I don't have to deal with those other worse scenarios. Maybe it's a dark way of looking at things, but it helps me to not feel sorry for myself... for me, feeling sorry for myself is the first step into being horribly depressed about this again, and I refuse to go back there...

Just take it one day at a time... do whatever you can to make each day more comfortable... if you haven't already done so, I highly recommend getting a pair of moisture chamber glasses - I wear mine indoors and out and they make a world of difference to my comfort level. If looking at your red eyes bothers you, don't look in the mirror... sounds stupid, but maybe it will help you... for me, looking in the mirror at red eyes, seeing myself in moisture chambers etc. bums me out, so I just don't look at myself and it helps me forget what I look like. On good days, look in the mirror all you want But on the bad days, why remind yourself of it more than you need to?

One of the hardest things about this is having a doctor tell you that you're fine when you're not. My LASIK surgeon used to tell me at every freaking appointment that I was doing "GREAT!" and that my eyes were fine... He was an idiot.

Needless to say, I eventually found myself a new doctor and he is fantastic. Obviously he's not a miracle worker since I'm still here on the forums ... but he cares, and he tries his best to help. I've improved a lot since I've been seeing him.

If you've had the misfortune of having a doctor like my LASIK surgeon (ie. the idiot), then find out how to get a referral to someone else. Don't quit until you find a doctor who cares and is sincerely interested in doing their best to help you. Don't quit until you find a doctor who won't patronize you. Having a good doctor in your corner does wonders for one's state of mind!

You'll come out of this a stronger person. Just don't quit... keep trying to find things to help you... take it one day at at time (15 minutes at a time if you have to)... don't allow yourself to think of all the scary what-if's with your future... just think of right now and how you can make it tolerable. Seek out things that you still can enjoy and do those things as often as you can. Distract yourself and keep busy as much as possible so you won't spend too much time dwelling on your eyes. Work out often - the endorphins help... find things to laugh at (I used to listen to comedians on the comedy network a lot when I was at my worst... anything to distract myself) Do whatever you need to do to be as comfortable as possible and make no apologies for it.

Hang in there!

[robster]

Have you found out what is causing your dryness? It can be hard to get a proper diagnosis on what the specific cause is, but once you have one it will be much easier to move forward. If you have got a specific diagnosis do as much research as you can about it. When you have a good eye day remember how it feels for when you have a bad day(s). I've just gone through a 6 day period when my eyes have felt like they were on fire but having been through spells like that before and come out the other side I knew it would pass eventually which it did.

[jordanh]

Vivian,
I think i have you beat, I'm 19 years old and I've had dry eyes for the past 2 years! It's a very depressive problem, i can describe it numerous people, and they still don't understand. Advice from me, keep your head up, their ARE procedures out there to fix it (just watch the doctors). The problem is diagnosis the problem..... Keep researching and finding out answers. Don't let you ophthalmologist guess and check (which i did), waste of time. Take him/her as a partner and take the initiative and do your homework. You'd be surprised on what you can find. Your quality of life might have been reduced but their are far worst things out there. There is light at the end of the tunnel, keep looking.

Difficult things take a long time, impossible things take a little longer.

[Mawsky]

Vivian,
I see that a lot of good people have spoken up here, this is a great place to have found! I know that when this all started for me after finding this site I began to feel so much better, you can express what you are going through with people who will understand because they have or are there themselves. When this started for me it was quite sudden, while at work one night my eyes became extremely irritated, I didn't realize at the time that I had quit producing tears. That was over a year ago, I suffered a lot since then, putting in drops literally every 5 minutes, and wondering if I would ever be able to do normal things again, like go for a walk, I could not even have a conversation with someone without having to pull out the drops.

The good news is that things can get better! I have found something that is working for me, contacts, while my eyes are not normal, I do not have the almost constant pain, Corneal abrasions, and constant drops. I still have to add drops, but I feel so blessed to be able to sometimes go hours without them, I feel much more hopeful. It is easy to get depressed, I have been there myself, be kind to yourself, you have a right to your feelings. This dry eye thing can be life changing, but you will find things that work for you too, I just know it.

Best of luck, check out what others have to say, look around this site, there are a lot of encouraging things to try, or to ask your doctor about.

[vivian3090]

Thank you everyone for the words of encouragement!

[kimby2007]

I am always a few months off on my postings but wanted to chime in anyhows. I was young too when my dry eyes started and it hit me like a ton of bricks or more over like a freight train going full speed. I was depressed for a LONG time but eventually with my family, friends, and counselors help I climbed out of the dark tunnel. Now I am not saying life with dry eyes is the easiest but nobody's life is ever really easy. The point is there is very much great quality of life no matter your disability. I have dry eyes and severe hearing loss (part of my Sjogrens) and I have a better life now then before I got "sick". Guess its part of really appreciating everything that much more. Don't give up and eyes can improve. I swear my eye dryness is not as severe as it used to be or maybe I just learned adaptive strategies that help me along. Best of luck and I am sure you will get through this and be a better person when you reach the other side. K

[mgshutterbug]

Vivian, having found this forum, I can almost guarantee that how you feel will gradually improve. Because here you find people that are going through what you are going through, or have gone through it. You have the benefit of learning from others how they dealt with their DED, what remedies they have tried. I always feel better when I'm on the forum, because I know that I am not alone. Feeling alone is a horrible feeling. Here, you know that others understand what you are going through, what you are feeling.

I also have had very bleak days from dealing with my eyes and some additional medical conditions. I find what helps me alot is to get in touch with someone, a friend, and do something that is enjoyable that you can do without discomfort. That may be just getting together at your place, or better yet, getting out of your house and going to theirs, or out to lunch, or somewhere different. Support on the phone I find very helpful, as well as support here.

You will feel better, that's a "for sure". When you're in "it", it's hard to have any hope. But there really are different options out there. And we're here. Take good care of yourself, and let us know how you're doing.

Maria

[JAH1973]

Been There

Hello!
I have been suffering with Dry Eye since 2008 and have hated every minute of it. No makeup, eye pain, swelling, as well as other undiagnosed health issues. Talk about nutso. I could not understand how one could go to a doctor and not be able to fix it.
Four years later, I have spent thousands of dollars, am on tons of medicines, and have finally got to the acceptance stage and can finally say that I am manageable.

How, you ask?

Restasis
4 Plugs (Dissolvable 90 Day - Other ones hurt my eyes or fell out within a day)
lacriserts
Lotemax (Once each morning)
Prozac
Xanax
Singulair
2 years of couseling

There are a few other medications that may or may not be related...
What changed it?

I ran into a friend who was battling stage 4 cancer at 38. I then realized that this was my new normal and crying was not gonna fix it... Actually made my eyes hurt worse.

I hope that something amazing happens so that you can finally begin living your life and find some hope and friendship through this site. It certainly helped me when I was at my worst.

[mgshutterbug]

JAH, I find the camaraderie and support on this site vital to my mental health. There are always people here who will lend an ear, and help you through a bad time, or chronic problems. I agree with you that when you have contact with someone else who has something much more severe that they are dealing with, it helps me put my problems more in perspective. Not to say I don't get depressed at times, but I am no longer consumed with misery. Being on this forum helps me know I'm not alone, even if some of my medical conditions are rare, and not many people have the exact same thing. You still get support, and though the cause of eye problems may be different, alot of my symptoms are the same as others. That's my spiel! Let us know how you're doing.

Maria