Xanax Prior to My New Dr. Appt.

[Cali]

So I went off the charts crazy in pain for the last few weeks. Saw a psychiatrist last week who prescribed xanax to get me over this "hump." I guess I was really ranting about how I signed up for Lasik 8 years ago and the corrupt FDA, corrupt refractive surgeons, etc. I went on and on about my anger, self blame, shame, and more. I also went on and on about felt so angry at my last cornea specialist appt about 3 weeks ago, who dismissed me after 8 minutes of a cursory exam with the Restasis, plugs, cuaterization, parting words.

I see a new doctor highly recommended by a local dry eye group, on Thursday of this week. My psychiatrist's suggestion, (and I think another member on here used the term, "cool as a cucumber") is to really breathe, not contract in anger/fear/disappointment, not take anything personally or feel dismissed.

I am 49 years old. I am a working (or I was) professional in the semiconductor industry for Fortune 100 companies. I've always worked well with teams of people. But (and I'm kinda cracking up), my whole psych appointment was spent on role playing, how I'd communicate and relate to my new doctor. My psych knows I have "social skills" but I am probably not communicating well and setting myself up for an antagonistic relationship with my new doc from the start.

So I guess on Thursday, I am really going to have to work on my social skills in order to try to get my new doctor to become my ally. I get it. But I am in pain and already have some big worries about getting dimissed in 8 minutes or less like the last time.

Maybe Thursday should be a two xanax morning, then I won't have to work as hard at being socially agreeable. Just numb out.

[unicorn]

Cali I have my first ophthalmologist appt this Friday and I too am getting quite worked up about it. I am not even normally a good communicator - let alone under stress. I am worried I will cry! - this is my default response to stressful situations, and it's not exactly going to help, during an eye exam!

It's great that you have had some help from a psychiatrist prior to your appointment. Their advice sounds good and you have clearly understood what they're trying to get you to do. As for taking Xanax, it may not be such a bad idea (although you might want to check if it would have any side effects on the eyes?). Have you taken any already? Do you know how it makes you feel? If it helps you to stay as calm as possible this will enable you to remember the advice about breathing, not reacting with anger, too much emotion etc, and will help you to make sure you communicate as best as you can with your doctor. Don't overdo it though (maybe one rather than two?) - you want to be alert to what's going on and to be able to take in information.

Have you read Rebecca's article about preparing for your appointment? She has some very useful advice.

Good luck, and please let us know how it goes - I'll be after you, on Friday, so I'll be in the same boat!

[PotatoCakes]

Upping the Xanax may be key. I know, for the most sane person, dealing with the frustration, depression and hopelessness that comes with a chronic disease can be maddening and then, when you come across a doctor that belittles you or treats you as if this is a no big deal problem (or worse, that it's your fault -- I had one of those), it is absolutely crushing to whatever sanity you have left. I think your psychiatrist is right, breathe, focus on your actions, not your doctor's. It may take more than one appointment to figure out if this is the right doctor for you, regardless, remember, this is a fresh start for you. This doctor is not your old doctor. When I went to my current doctor, I was scared but hopeful. I also didn't realize how much pent up anger I had towards my last doctor until it started spilling out uncontrollably to any of the staff that would take 5 seconds to listen. The funny (or sad) thing was that they had all heard it before about my last doctor. They had a number of patients that had come over from his practice, despite his prestigious reputation. I have since spoken to a number of professionals, both in other doctors' offices (picking out glasses) and other places that focus on the eye and have heard more stories. They are always careful to not say anything libelous but I've gathered, he's not well-liked and while I admit, it's childish and vengeful of me, I do take a bit of pleasure in that, STILL!

My new doctor isn't warm and fuzzy but he's respectful and very good. When you go in to meet your new doctor, think 'fresh start' and remember to keep your expectations realistic. These are doctors, not your best friends or buddies, respect, competence, and professionalism is what you are looking for.

One more thing... when I find I'm getting too emotional about something, sometimes I excuse myself and go wash my hands. It's silly but I've found that taking that time away from the situation helps and washing my hands is akin to washing the feeling away.

And you may need someone to drive you to your appt if you're taking more than one Xanax (I know some people can't even take one depending on how they react to it).

Good luck and you will do great!

[Cali]

Thank you Unicorn and PotatoCakes. I know I'm not alone in this. I am working on the "scared but hopeful" feeling. I've just read Rebecca's article about how to prepare. What I find interesting is that we all have the same feelings and I just really wonder if these doctors realize what it's like for those who sit in their chairs? And, the "prestigious reputation"? I now think a committed, interested, curious, and engaged doctor is much more "presitigious" in my mind than a dismissive yet reknown specialist that just can't be bothered. I hope so very much this turns out well for me tomorrow. I am really, really, hoping but know I have to stay calm, realistic, and keep my expectations in check.

[jax8it]

Cali,

I am right there with you on a new doctor appointment tomorrow. I have wondered if I should take a xanax too. I have only seen the LASIK ODs and two other unaffilated ODs. Tomorrows appointment will be with an ophthalmologist. I cried in the chair of the last unaffilated OD appointment after he told me this would be a chronic condition. I was five months out from LASIK at the time. I am now almost six months. I completely understand your apprehension. Funny, my therapist has been having me role play different situations.

[Emerald]

Hi Cali,
This issue is very depressing, knowing there might not be a cure, and you just have to figure out ways to manage. Thank goodness for this site, finding others that suffer the same way, and many that have found solutions and ways to treat themselves. You are so right about how quick physicians can be and how they don't all take this condition seriously enough. If I can be of support to you, please don't hesitate to ask. We are located in California also, I wonder which doctors you have seen, maybe we can compare notes..

[Cali]

Well I finally got lucky! I found a great doctor. I have complete faith and trust in this doctors. I had about 40 minutes of testing and 20 minutes of talking to the physician. My diagnosis was a bit worse than I thought. I have "0" tear production. What is there is "salty" and I am producing "no oil." My three other doctors just gave me Rastasis and sent me on my way. This one prescribed serum drops immediately, no plugs since there's no tear production. I don't know what's coming my way but for the first time I feel like I have a trusted, competent ally. I feel lucky.

[Emerald]

Hi Cali,
May I ask what kind of serum drops you were prescribed? Are they helping?

[Cali]

Before I get my blood drawn to get the drops, I have to test negative for HIV and Hepatitis C. Once those results are communicated to my doctor, I go back to get my blood drawn for the drops to be made. It's a bit of the process to get the first set of drops. What is interesting is usually people get their first set of drops diluted with 20% saline. My eyes are so bad she prescribed 100% serum. They will be autologous serum drops.

[Guest]

Before I get my blood drawn to get the drops, I have to test negative for HIV and Hepatitis C. Once those results are communicated to my doctor, I go back to get my blood drawn for the drops to be made. It's a bit of the process to get the first set of drops. What is interesting is usually people get their first set of drops diluted with 20% saline. My eyes are so bad she prescribed 100% serum. They will be autologous serum drops.

I've used both the 50% serum and 100% serum - I like the 100% better... it feels nicer in the eye for me. Hopefully the serum will help you!

[unicorn]

Cali I am delighted you've found a good doctor and I really hope the serum drops work for you.

Glad things are looking up - hopefully soon you will start to feel better, and feeling more positive/optimistic will no doubt help. It's so important to find a good doctor isn't it - I'm still working on that!