dating and dry eyes

[ishkane]

When I was first diagnosed with MGD, I was in a long term relationship, and while we are no longer together, my then-partner was extremely supportive of all the things I had to do to in order to function with my dry eyes. Now that I'm considering dating again, I'm feeling quite insecure... I guess I worry that no one will want to date someone who's going into the potential partnership already...damaged. But more to the point, I'm not sure how to introduce all the paraphernalia that goes along with DES into dating - you know, the goggles, sunglasses all the time, using eye drops almost constantly... I can't even imagine how those first few dates where we're supposed to be at our very best will go.

Any advice from those of you dating with dry eyes?

Thanks

[Tankie]

A good question! I'm in much the same boat myself. I'm male, 25 years old. At this stage my dry eyes don't affect me too much as long as I take a bathroom break every few hours to put drops in, so for me I have never raised the issue yet. It's definitely something I would talk about if things were starting to get serious, but in the early stages it's never been necessary for me. I'm single right this second, but I've dated within the last month and I've never got past the fifth date in a while, but at this stage I never brought it up.

I could give you advice on this, but I don't really feel like it's my place. My situation is different from yours. For what it's worth, for me, I would probably tell a girl about it somewhere around the tenth date. Otherwise, I view my medical condition as something that's not her business, at least not yet. I've at least got to reach a stage where I would label us as "boyfriend/girlfriend" as opposed to "just dating".

I said I wasn't going to give you any advice. I lied! In your situation I'd say that you should do whatever your gut tells you to do, and talk to people who are close to you and who understand your condition and personality. Good luck!