Eyes better but depression lingering

[Cali]

I can't seem to shake my dry-eye induced depression. For 2 months I felt like acid was thrown in my eyes, chronic pain. I became a shut-in, couldn't work, lost my apetite, etc. I am doing so much better (plugs & serum drops) but something happened that changed my brain chemistry for those 2 months at the height of my chronic pain. I'm eating VERY healthy (mostly raw, vegetarian diet with the occasional tacos and pizza), I'm taking walks outside a few times a day, trying to get a good night's sleep, trying 5-HTTP (natural antidepressent), etc. But the depression is lingering and it is awful. It is also coupled with anxiety for which I take xanex.

I sucked it up and started taking Remeron (an older antidepressant), that was not supposed to aggravate dry eye, but my eyes felt like they were reverting after just 3 nights of taking it. Never mind it kicked in at Costco when I was getting my xanex refill and the pharmacist starting moving around on some weird 3-D visual plane. I had to hang on to the counter for stability - I'm sure that made some type of "impression" on the pharmacist.

Is anyone on anti-depressents out there that do not aggravate dry eye? Yes, I had to see a psychiatrist when all this started happening. But I just couldn't cope. He is on vacation right now but when he returns, I need to switch to another drug. I don't see how I'm going to return to normal without antidepressants, which I hate, but there is definitely something wrong with my brain chemistry. It's not me, I swear!!!! It's my brain chemistry!!!!

The good thing is my eyes really are much better. Bad thing is I just can't shake the depression. I can't seem to restart and kick back into gear and participate in life. The horrible feelings of despair are lingering. If I could just shake that, I'm good to go again.

[No tears in ATL]

Cali, I can't recommend any antidepressant, but just some food for thought: I tried 5http once to help me sleep (I was a notorious night owl and was trying to have "normal" sleep/wake patterns) and it made me have freaky dreams and I was downright MEAN and irritable the next day. Some have had very bad reactions to it, especially when mixed with other drugs. That's just my experience, but I would definitely ask your doc about it. It has the potential to make things worse. For sleep for me now it is just melatonin and a few chewable tablets of suntheanine (theanine is found in green tea, short half life, and no weird effects). As with all supplements, ask doc about drug interactions.

[spmcc]

Cali,

I can't diagnose anything, but your post made me think of PTSD. Similar to you, I feel a little "trapped in my head". Everything (what I do, what I feel I can do, my thoughts, etc.) revolves around my eyes and I can't seem to shake it. I've tried a bunch of antidepressants and they all make my eyes worse. I simply won't take anything that makes my eyes worse. Period.

I don't know anything about this, but maybe someone has heard of EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing)? I'm going to contact a place locally that offers/does this. I'll let you know...

Good luck.

[Tanner]

Cali,

about what spmcc says there is a book called until tuesday that you can listen to. I think it will help. It is the story of a guy with PTSD and what he did that helped. Can't diagnose but the book may help.

[lulu]

Unfortunately I have learnt from experience that long after the event one can still suffer from a kind of a "bad experience" hangover or in other words PTSD.
I have had some fairly horrendous things happen to me (not just this eye thing) and it is often when after things have become calmer that my brain has gone "oh s**t, did that all just really happen!" It's like you have been in a war and now it is peacetime but your brain still has some catching up to do and it is now safer for it to process evrything now that the severe pain is not occupying it so much.
I think sadly that it can be part of the human condition but of course it still needs attending to. So if you are finding that life is really quite difficult to function in, now is the time to start caring for yourself. Self help is great, above suggestions brilliant, personally I am not great with anti D's but that is just me. Time although I know everybody says this does allow you to have some clarity and calm but getting there can be difficult. Dont be too hard on yourself, is there anyone you really trust that could allow you to talk stuff through? Is there something you really love doing that is not too hard on your eyes?
Take extra steps to look after yourself. You will feel better
Lulu xx

[Cali]

Thanks everyone. I'll look into the PTSD possiblility. I think most anti-depressents will dry me out and then I'll be back to square one. I appreciate you each taking the time to reply.

[MeibomianGlandman]

Hey friend, I have gone through a lot of troubles, I find that there is hope but it is found within yourself. If things don't fit in this world, you gotta get up and go make them fit. If there's not hope, you got to find some hope...Keep looking. Last but not least as far as depression is concerned, I know how anti depressants cause dry eye cuz there made out of the same stuff as decongestants are. As far as depression, coping is tough, homeopathic remedy's might be your only solution in a prescription world, now most wouldn't suggest this, but I have found that putting nighttime ointment in and kicking back with a bottle of jack help's get you through one rough night. Will dry you out, but not as bad as the rest. I hope you find some relief my friend...Keep looking...After all there is a cure to dry eye, it just hasn't been discovered Yet!!! maybe you be the one to find it!!!