I give up, im comming home.

[sazy123]

I give up, im hegoing home!

I moved to the US in January, got f'ed over by my husband and left me on my own. Moved in with some of his family. Got a job in a hospital, been working there 9 months since Feb.

Been seeing a eye doc here and trying a bunch of stuff (again): Luckly i have health insurance through my job.

Restasis, Doxy, fish oil, lower plugs, and now Kineret. And soon azasite.
plus seen an allergic, had patch skin test and have been avoiding perfume products, i have a moderate sensitivity to this (but no other sytmpoms anywhere else).


Eyes are still awefull. Hardly any improvement as ussual. I just give up!! dont know what i have to do or what lengths i have to go to to get some relief!!! So i give up, i guess i have to accept my eyes will never improve. Im only 27 and its depressing to think that i will be this way for ever.

If i have another health problem- my eyes fell great, but other than that nothing works. And id rather live with another health problem than DES, because nothing is as debilitating as severe dry eye. And ive had a few things over the years.

Im really stressed out here, i have no one here, no family, im on my own and its hard working and supporting yourself completely with painfull eyes. I have been taking advantage of the easy access to dry eye treatments in the US and my health insurance. But theres nothing left to try.

Sorry just needed a rant, and i know you guys understand how this condition impacts us more than anyone else.

[No tears in ATL]

Hi Sazy,

I don't know if I have the right words to say, and I can't help you feel better physically, but please hang in there. You've had a tough going, here. Moving to a new country, husband being obvious jerk, AND a new job (and at a hospital at that...those places are super dry and make eyes feel BAD!) I can't imagine all of that stress is any good for your symptoms.

Where do you feel most comfortable? Do you think going home would bring you more comfort? Would you say you were happier there?

There are modifications you can make in your life here, too. Therapy (doesn't have to be a permanent thing, and its a safe place to vent, in addition to DEZ), perhaps working toward renting your own place (freedom to wear goggles any time you want!). It would be a new start, and it would keep your mind off things the way that they were before. Just a suggestion, as I speak from my own "starting over" experience.

I don't want to try to suggest too many things--you only know what's best for you. We're here for you. Things are very hard right now but they DO get better. PM me if you would like.

[bakunin]

I told my homeopathic doctor that I'd rather have stones in my kidneys than DES. She didn't get me seriously. They just don't understand how debilitating is severe dry eye. I would rather have a health problem that gives acute pain for one day, that makes me go to the hospital and stay there for one week in each six months, but the rest of time I will be 100%.

I know what you mean Sazy. I'm not in a foreign country, but I'm living since last may in a city where I don't have relatives, friends, and the weather is very hostile to my eyes. And I think i'm going in the path of depression, little by little.

[No tears in ATL]

I forgot to add, if renting your own place isn't affordable, look for ads from people who are renting out rooms in their homes or for those in need of roommates. I see tons of ads in this economy. Even if you're around someone else and don't have all the space to yourself, it's a NEW "clean slate" experience. That's my point, I guess.

[littlemermaid]

Totally agree with NoTearsinATL. Some of my happiest times were in rented rooms in luxurious houses belonging to kind people - no bills, no responsibilities, all the comfort, lol. I guess we've all had a few clean slate experiences

In UK, there is a very good fashion for even rent-free accommodation in return for eg x hours child or granny-sitting or cleaning or help with horses etc, because there are a lot of over-stretched and/or older women with useless/overworked ex/absent partners trying to hold it all together money-wise and what they are looking for is another pair of sensible, reliable hands, and they have a spare room.

I know you are worried UK is still backward in eye treatment but since we started with this in Sept 2008, there have been ginormous improvements in the teaching hospital eye clinics although I would say your local 'rota' doc may well be a non-starter unless you get a hidden gem. Check out the NHS website, it's actually not bad, in fact it's good.

Cyclosporine is easily available NHS (Moorfields has it 2%, 0.2%, 0.06% same as Restasis but in maize oil) and also azithromycin 0.6% (as the French product Azyter) - as mentioned above. If you are coming back, I'd pick a 'Centre of Excellence' as they call 'em, and get yourself booked in long term with the chosen Cornea consultant (you can do this on the NHS 'Choose & Book' system at the GP) but you would have to shop around for the skill, experience and standard.

The only snag here is that the regional Primary Care Trusts are being dissolved next Feb 2013, and the GPs are supposed to be 'gatekeepering' the NHS hospital services (dear God, help us all) and managing the new Clinical Commissioning Group's budget for primary care, drugs and hospital referral. So you need a kick-ass, cheerful and interested GP, not just your local jobsworth blocking 'unnecessary' referrals because they can't be bothered to google the conditions or who does what or have only allocated themselves 5 mins to do so.

TBH some people here have an NHS clinic for long-term and emergency, and a 'private consultant as needed for safety and chat' arrangement going on to avoid suffering on waiting lists in overloaded clinics. And interestingly, it's most often the same consultant. So yes, it's a mess, but it's manageable.

Good luck and happiness with whatever you decide, Sazy. Your adventures are an inspiration x

[robster]

I wouldn't see coming home as giving up, there's nothing wrong with wanting to be close to your family and friends. If there's a major breakthrough in dry eye treatments in the US you could always travel over there for a few days to check it out.

[Mawsky]

so sorry to hear all this on your plate, and DES too. I can understand how overwhelming it can seem. I agree with all here, especially about going home is not giving up! I believe things happen for reasons we don't understand at the time (not talking about our eyes) who knows what may be waiting for you back home? I can get pretty overwhelmed myself just with my eyes, it makes it harder to cope with anything else, and no, people just don't understand how truly life effecting and life altering this condition is. I work in a hospital too, and even when my eyes are doing well, they are horrid there, I'm fortunate to only work part time, I cant imagine having to deal with my eyes feeling that bad everyday. Hope that things will work out for you. Is going home a real option for you right now? Hang in there. and feel better soon ((Hug))

[icycarol]

Ｈi! sazy! have you ever tried lacrisert ? I started to use it recently and find it is the only thing can relieve my eye pain. Since you have a good insurance, you may ask your doc to try it for you.

I have the same feeling that when I'm ill, my eyes feel better. I got a cold and cough a lot now, my eyes feel much more better than usual, just don't know why.

You are a very brave girl, please don't give up !

Carol

[Mawsky]

icycarol, I just had a question about you having a cold right now and your eyes feeling better. Are you taking any cough or cold medication? I had heard that one of the cough meds helps with dry eyes. Just curious that something other than having the cold, could make the difference.

[icycarol]

Hello,Mawsky,
My eyes feel better last whole week, and I took medicine for about 3 days last week, so, I don't know if it is due to medicine or maybe cough made some reflex tear. My cough is better today but eyes are worse lol !

Carol

[dryeye4ever]

im also taking a break from everything even travelling or etc, why? because the dry eye discomfort is killing me. Take a break and work on diet heavily and do things that would help