I can’t do this anymore

[hästen25]

I don’t know what to do. I feel so depressed. My eyes just keep getting worse, more red and I’m in pain. I have suicidalor thoughts and I don’t do anything, just lay in bed all day. I feel so alone and scared of one day going blind because of dry eyes. I’m only 20 and I want to be able to live my life but I feel that due to this condition I can’t. I don’t even know why I have this condition, and it seems that no doctor can figure it out. They just give me treatment options but it’s like they don’t even know what they are treating. I’m supposed to be on ikervis but it just made my eyes worse and more red so I decided to get a break, but I know that I should listen to my doctor and try it out. I was only on ikervis for a week. I’m scared of going out because I have so much anxiety due to the pain and that people will notice my eyes. I’m also scared of taking antidepressants since I don’t want to make it even worse. I’m so lost. If it’s this bad at this age, how will it be in the future when I grow old? I’m so jealous of people with normal eyes just living their lives. My life is standing still and I feel like it’s already over. If I can’t live my life in a good way, why would I even want to live anymore?

Sorry for a very negative post, but I just feel so alone and lost.

[post_accutane]

I don’t know what to do. I feel so depressed. My eyes just keep getting worse, more red and I’m in pain. I have suicidalor thoughts and I don’t do anything, just lay in bed all day. I feel so alone and scared of one day going blind because of dry eyes. I’m only 20 and I want to be able to live my life but I feel that due to this condition I can’t. I don’t even know why I have this condition, and it seems that no doctor can figure it out. They just give me treatment options but it’s like they don’t even know what they are treating. I’m supposed to be on ikervis but it just made my eyes worse and more red so I decided to get a break, but I know that I should listen to my doctor and try it out. I was only on ikervis for a week. I’m scared of going out because I have so much anxiety due to the pain and that people will notice my eyes. I’m also scared of taking antidepressants since I don’t want to make it even worse. I’m so lost. If it’s this bad at this age, how will it be in the future when I grow old? I’m so jealous of people with normal eyes just living their lives. My life is standing still and I feel like it’s already over. If I can’t live my life in a good way, why would I even want to live anymore?

Sorry for a very negative post, but I just feel so alone and lost.

Hey, I know exactly how you feel. Im 24yo and a medical student. I used to be a very open person, I was doing multiple things like sailing for a few weeks, working with covid patients, surfing, doing sports... Now I do nothing. The only time I do feel a bit relief is when I lay with my eyes closed in a dark room.

I have complete atrophy of meibomian glands and my Shirmer I value are 3-4mm.
It causes constant pain and extreme photophobia. I feel so depressed.

The only thing that keeps me alive is reading about possible treatments. I found that lacrimal&meibomian glands can be regenerated with PRP injections and/or stem cells/cord blood.
Theres also one promising medication which is oxervate.
Unfortunately, I live in Central Europe and nobody even heard of these treatments that are available in the USA.

[Rebecca Petris]

For both of you -

So very sorry you're struggling.

If it’s this bad at this age, how will it be in the future when I grow old?

I know is a trap of thinking that happens to most young people at some point! But the truth is, it doesn't work that way. Stuff gets better. Symptoms get better. Treatments help. Our bodies and minds and spirits find it easier to cope and rally later on.

We have a zoom support group for millenials and GenZ if you're interested. If you're in Europe it might be too late in the day but we can check into scheduling something earlier.
https://www.dryeyefoundation.org/calendar

We also have one specifically about the mental health impact of dry eye, and we have a general dry eye group every other Friday. There is also a UK group.

You can also call us at 800-484-0244... I'd love to talk with you! Or Zoom if you're not in the US!

[charlotte.kellogg]

I don’t know what to do. I feel so depressed. My eyes just keep getting worse, more red and I’m in pain. I have suicidalor thoughts and I don’t do anything, just lay in bed all day. I feel so alone and scared of one day going blind because of dry eyes. I’m only 20 and I want to be able to live my life but I feel that due to this condition I can’t. I don’t even know why I have this condition, and it seems that no doctor can figure it out. They just give me treatment options but it’s like they don’t even know what they are treating. I’m supposed to be on ikervis but it just made my eyes worse and more red so I decided to get a break, but I know that I should listen to my doctor and try it out. I was only on ikervis for a week. I’m scared of going out because I have so much anxiety due to the pain and that people will notice my eyes. I’m also scared of taking antidepressants since I don’t want to make it even worse. I’m so lost. If it’s this bad at this age, how will it be in the future when I grow old? I’m so jealous of people with normal eyes just living their lives. My life is standing still and I feel like it’s already over. If I can’t live my life in a good way, why would I even want to live anymore?

Sorry for a very negative post, but I just feel so alone and lost.

Have you considered taking up therapies or individual counseling nyc? Mental health professionals or therapists can provide you with the support and guidance you need. They can help you explore your feelings, develop coping strategies, and provide appropriate treatment options for your depression and anxiety. They can also work with you to find a suitable medication if necessary, addressing your concerns about antidepressants.

Regarding your eye condition, it can be frustrating when doctors don't have immediate answers or treatments. However, it's important to communicate openly with your healthcare provider and express your concerns about the medication you were prescribed. They may be able to adjust your treatment plan or explore alternative options to manage your symptoms. Seeking a second opinion from another eye specialist might also be beneficial.

[Member]

Hang in there. Ikervis can take months to work. Take one hour at a time, then a day at the time. One day you will look back and be proud of yourself for all the hardship you went trough. And do research. Keep your hope up! Dont give up.