really bad day

[kiki]

I've been depressed for about 6 months and every time i think i'm at my worst it really does get worse again, i went to my eye hospital appointment today, got opatanol for allergies(haven't used yet) as well as my dry eye drops, but the doctor didn't seem to think it would reduce the redness, there just getting redder and redder ALL the time and the veins don't go down. I just don't want to see people anymore and this is going to carry on getting worse, i know i sound pathetic and other people have worse problems but that just makes me feel more guilty, i'm having conselling soon, but since that won't help my eyes i really am not sure about it, i just really want to know if there is anything that will help with redness and if using opatanol is going to make it worse since it has BAK in it, i don't want more irritation.

[liz56]

Hi, Kiki.

I'm sorry to hear that your appointment is not giving you answers, but maybe this new product will help.

You are doing all of the right things and all that you reasonably can do.

I don't have much advice, but please know that I am rooting for you.

Hang in there!

--Liz

[brd888]

Hello,
Do you have pain too or is it mainly the redness which bothers you? Technically BAC is only bad if used too often. I think you can use BAC drops up to 4 times per day without too much side-effect.

[kiki]

Sorry i haven't been able to reply for awhile (lack of internet access). The allergy drops don't seem to be to great, still hard to tell. Yep i do have pain but its not as regular as some peoples, i can be fine for a couple of days and then my tear ducts itch like crazy and i can't help but rub them/ want to tear them out, i also can't cry very easily, as in very few tears. I'm starting to think its my tear ducts that are messed up.
I'm seeing a therapist and all i want to do is scream - i just want normal eyes! but i know they won't understand so instead i talk about other things, i just wish people understood, i can't help but look like crap when my eyes are red and swollen. I had low self esteem before but now its just rock bottom and i can't do anything to change that, just wanted to vent really.

[brd888]

I see.
How old are you, where are you and what are you doing about the dry eye problem? Are you seeing an "expert" and what treatments are you undertaking?
As for being depressed and getting therapy I suppose you are finding out about the "duality" of dry eye and depression, or I suppose having any disabling disease and depression. What I mean is therapy for depression like CBT is all about not thinking and not behaving in a way which will depress you, whereas dry eye is not something you can not think about??
Well I think this is where you need to make the therapist work for you...please let me know what you learn!
I don't think I would be bothered about what I look like as long as my eyes were comfortable. I understand if you are younger this can be a source of anxiety and depression though.
Regards.