Feel very down - nothing works. Will this ever go?

[skygoddess]

I know just how you feel. I have gotten better, but memories of breaking down, screaming and crying, alone in my car, are never going to leave me.

I am convinced allergies play a bigger role than any of us knew.
I had a few bad days during the last couple of weeks, and I traced the problem back to detergent. I had changed my clothing out for the seasons,
but forgotten that my last years clothing had been previously washed in detergent containing fragrance.

Even a year later, trace amounts of fragrance put me right back into hell.
If you are constantly in pain, I am willing to bet it is a common item, rubber, nickel, or maybe a soap, shampoo, or cosmetic you use daily. Even permanent press fabric can be a problem for some.
Reactions can take up to 3 days, so you really have to be a detective, but if it is allergic conjunctivitis, you can get better.
I did.
http://www.scheman.com/brochure.asp
Look here for some useful lists of common allergens . Look under sensitive skin products for a list of cosmetics and a care routine for eyelids.

[irish eyes]

Sally

I wish there was something positive to contribute but I'm also living in silent desperation.

Eva - your point about losing hope really struck a chord because of the length of time I have suffered with it and how nothing has changed in terms of:

a) Me getting any better
b) The predictable display of doctors' nonchalance as I experienced years ago.

I'm waiting for the outcome of a request for autologous serum but in the meantime, the opthalmologist has tried to talk me into considering:

1) Punctal plugs again even though they were a disaster in the past
2) Cautery because he ignored what I said about the plugs
3) Some eye drops that I had trouble with in the first place
4) Salagen- even though I insisted that it would affect my stomach ulcer.

Doctors' dismissive attitudes towards this serves to intensify the feelings of isolation - and that certainly feeds depression.

Sazy, I am so looking forward to hearing how it all goes for you. Take care. By the way - did you get your lenses sorted out?

[SallyP]

I honestly don't think there's any rhyme or reason to any of it, which makes it so diffiucult to pin point. I work part time all day Monday and Tuesday, and half day Wednesday, and the full days I'm at work and away from the house I'm far worse. I've always attributed the severity and time of day mine gets worse to tiredness. I know what you mean about having other illnesses. When I fell down the stairs and injured my foot, the pain was unbelievable, and I think it took my mind off my eyes. However, the pain killers I was given have definitely aggrevated things, and it was the lesser of the two evils! I suppose, like you say, try lots of avenues. By the way, does the heat/sun effect any of you?

[sazy123]

Your not alone, ive tried absolutely everything and nothing works. Only thing that works is living with another illness as it makes my eyes better.
Heres hoping i will have more luck with IPL.

I have prob tried more things than you guys (although i dont know everything you have tried), but ive tried alot. So i suggest keep trying things and hopefully something will help or at last become manageable.

Assessing allergies is always an option, but i dont think theres much in it if your doing everything for allergies and it makes no difference, as i have. Although dry eye could make you more susceptible to allergies. Although sallyp, its weird that your eyes get much worse after 7pm. maybe your around an allergen? Your out of the house i presume in the day? and obviously when you wake up you are in the house, maybe theres something in that.

[SallyP]

Hi Eva

Thank you for your kind reply. I see you're also from the UK. Did you see I did advertise a new UK forum - Lumecare - that needs new members, and I did check with Rebecca Petris on here that it was OK to advertise.

Yes, for all the good it does, I see a specialist, but my next appointment's in December, and I think he just sees me because he thinks he has to. One of his colleagues saw me and actually said "you have dry eye, you really have to get on with it". I've had various blood tests to rule more serious things out like sjrogens etc. The optician has been the most sympathetic and helpful and said I had blepharitis, and recommended the time consuming lid scrub etc, but as I said, nothing seems to be working. I may consider seeing an allergy specialist, but as I'm sure you know, it's not easy seeing any kind of specialist. To see the eye specialist I had to perisist and pester. I suppose to some extent you do have to deal with it, and I know it could be so much worse, but it really gets me quite down, and even the sun makes me worse and I can't tolerate sitting in it anymore, but in the winter the central heating makes thing worse, so there's a brief couple of months, spring time, where things settle a bit, but I'm struggling with it all really, especiallyevenings and mornings.

[eva b]

not much comfort really, I know, but I feel exactly the same as you do.

Nothing I do seems to make any difference - and like you I wonder if there's any point in continuing - my days seems to be completely taken up with eye care routines.

I see no light at the end of the tunnel...and I'm sure the longer it goes on the worse it gets, possibly because of the psychological aspect where you just lose hope.

Do you regularly see any kind of specialist or clinic, and have you had a "proper" diagnosis...or just the usual "well, you've got dry eyes, it's not really that serious" number?

hugs,
eva

[SallyP]

Hi, just a rant really. I don't know what I can do anymore. I thought things were getting better, well they did briefly. Never completely better, but an improvement. I take all the supplements recommended and more, I do the heat compress, and lid clean etc etc, I make every effort to keep my home dust free and clean, and I use the eye drops 4 x daily, and I'm at my worst to be honest. I cannot bear the mornings when my eyes don't even open properly and I look pretty horrific. Evenings are a right off after about 7pm and I've had enough. I don't know what to do. I think even if I didnt do any of the above I'd still get no respite from DES. I'm sorry to sound so despondant, and I'm normally optimistic, but I feel I've come to the point of knowing it's always going to be like this, which is so depressing.