Feel very down - nothing works. Will this ever go?

[irish eyes]

Sally

I have always had great difficulty with drops.

Just now, I'm swapping between Systane and Vismed multi.

I use Systane around 3 / 4 times a day and I try not to wait until my eyes are `screaming' for help. I put drops in both eyes in the morning as a routine measure and then again in the afternoon. Sometimes, I might only use them in the eye that is hurting the most - with me it is usually the left one.

I find it's better (for me anyway) to instil them a while before I go to bed because otherwise, my eyelids / lashes become irritated during sleep. The discomfort can be severe enough to wake me up but I don't put drops in during the night - although I used to.

My eyes can feel very strange when I wake up; I can only describe it as like having cramp in them!!

[SallyP]

Hi Irish Eyes, nice to hear from you as always.

My eyes stop me from actually getting off to sleep,rather than waking me up, but I struggle to explain the sensation. The eyeball feels huge and just incredibly dry, and the feeling in the morning is something else. Stuck fast, and I ususally have to phsyically unpick them, but the worst feeling is if I've only been to sleep for an hour or two and then wake up, it's such a horrible feeling. They feel very heavy, and the lids don't quite open properly, and I even feel dizzy with it. I also get the same feeling if I doze off during the day for a while, which, because of it, I try not to do. I have to say though the systane drops seems to be helping considerably so far, but it may just be a good run. I don't like to get too carried away about them being "better", as run the risk of being further disappointed. I will carry on using the systane then throughout the day, as you say before they get bad.

[irish eyes]

Hi Sally

I know exactly what you mean about not wanting to get too carried away, only to feel disappointment.

I feel on a real `high' when I have a good (ish) day. That is probably why I feel so low when the bad times follow. I could get so used to feeling OK, It wouldn't be any trouble at all.

I hope today is a good day for you.

[sandra lee]

Hi, just a rant really. I don't know what I can do anymore. I thought things were getting better, well they did briefly. Never completely better, but an improvement. I take all the supplements recommended and more, I do the heat compress, and lid clean etc etc, I make every effort to keep my home dust free and clean, and I use the eye drops 4 x daily, and I'm at my worst to be honest. I cannot bear the mornings when my eyes don't even open properly and I look pretty horrific. Evenings are a right off after about 7pm and I've had enough. I don't know what to do. I think even if I didnt do any of the above I'd still get no respite from DES. I'm sorry to sound so despondant, and I'm normally optimistic, but I feel I've come to the point of knowing it's always going to be like this, which is so depressing.

Hi Sally!I know exactly how you feel.I have meibomitis and have been in a constant battle for over 8 months and the depression is very common from what I have researched.Please don't give up and keep researching your DES and keep looking for a doctor who can help you.I am in the process of getting a 3rd opinion because my doctor has been very unhelpful and from posts that I have read some people just need to find the right doctor to treat them.I hope you get some relief soon.I am excited to have found this site and learn how others are coping.Good Luck to you!!!!!

[SallyP]

well irish eyes,, unfortuunately me eyes bad again yesterday and the systane didnt work too well. i wont give up though. i do wonder, as nothing seems to work, whether the diagnosis is even right. I don't have an appointment with the hospital until December, and to be honest the anaesthetic drops make my eyes so bad for about 3-5 days after, I dread going. I hope you are having more success, and not suffering too much. I do find the hot spell we are having here in the UK makes me worse.

Sandra lee thankyou for replying and welcome to this site. It's brilliant, and has been such a support, everybody's very kind and understands what we go through. Gool luck to you also!

[Sabrina]

I feel the same

I can so relate to what you are all saying. I have had this condition only 5 months but have tried many things. I am just hearing some things about IPL so will need a chance to research it. I don't think anyone can relate until they have been where we are ; not co-workers, friends, or Docs. My quality of life has suffered so much. I used to be a social person but don't want to leave my house for anything these days. I feel like everyone is tired of not only hearing about this but my bad mood in relation to it. I can't imagine spending the rest of my life like this. I try to stay optimistic but hard when nothing seems to work. I can't imagine spending the rest of my life like this. Do any of you live in humid climates? I have heard that helps. I am in AZ and will consider moving if it would make a difference.

[Lucy]

Sabrina, I live in the great lakes region fairly close to one of the lakes. We have pretty good humidity around here in the summer. Problem is, summer is only 3 months long. During much of the year, we are running our furnaces and that is the pitts. Then you have to add humidifiers, one for the house, one for the bedroom.

Also car heaters is another thing that will kill you!! I think humidity does help, but it doesn't occur all the time. Lucy

[Sabrina]

dry climate

My newest eye Dr. told me he tells people to move to Houston. He thought he was being funny but I have no sense of humor left about this. I grew up in ND and family would love me to come back. But I think it would be the same as far as cold winters, the need for heaters, and then there is the wind. I am actually thinking of some place where it is fairly warm and humid most of the time...Hawaii, San Diego etc... Of course I'd need to rob a bank first! I actually had a Dr. here tell me to avoid fans and air conditioning. I live in ARIZONA so that's not even realistic. This makes me so crabby! The good news is I am single and so if I have to uproot it is only myself. However, I am 46 and not to thrilled about having to start over somewhere new.
I am so thankful for this site. I think back to the complaining I used to do over mundane things. I so wish I could go back to those days!

[liz56]

Hi, Sabrina.

I sounds like the conditions of the air have a huge effect on your eyes. Have you tried or considered moisture-chamber glasses for daytime or something to cover your eyes at night?

--Liz

[Sabrina]

Dry in AZ

Liz, I have recently ordered the moisture googles (I believe they are called Tranquil eyes) for the night. I have not gotten them yet. Right now I am just wearing a sleep mask. I did try the drops right before bed and then put saran wrap over my eyes and the mask on top as some other have said the plastic helps keep moisture in. Didn't seem to make a difference. Where do I find the moisture chamber goggles for day? I am in a new office (cube)as of Friday and have a/c vents hitting me from all areas with no way to adjust them. I am actually finding that putting the ointment in (even during the day) retains my comfort the longest. The blurry only lasts a bit. There is this goopy look to your eyes but at this point I don't even care so much how I look. I am more concerned with comfort.
As far as the depression that comes with this... I have tried Prozac. It helped but dried my eyes out worse so I had to stop. Has anyone tired meds. for depression that didn't make their eyes worse? Am thinking about counseling and hoping it might help...

[liz56]

Sabrina,

Have you tried Genteal Gel rather than the ointment? A lot of us have had success with that.

You can get moisture-chamber glasses from a company, called Wiley and Panoptx are two brands that are discussed frequently on this board, and some of their models are sold at the Dry Eye Shop.

--Liz

[msienkiewicz]

Sabrina,

I am a relatively newbie as well. I did start seeing a counselor, and it has helped me tremendously. My outlook is definitely brighter, and my eyes have improved as the restasis has begun to work. I have more tears, but the oil problem is still there. I wear goggles almost 24-7.

Ironically, I find that my eyes do much better in the air conditioning.
I'm sure my eye issues are also allergy related.

Best wishes,
Melissa

[Sabrina]

Had a good day. Will it last?

I just wonder if any of you have had this experience. I have just had a week of hell; dry , red , swollen , burning eyes and putting in drops every 15 minutes. I have complained endlessly to friends about this and been totally isolating myself because I am so miserable. I have nothing else to talk about because it consumes my life. Like someone else posted, (while I am not actively suicidal) I feel many days like I would be happy to just not wake up. Today I had a good day. I had some friends over and I swear when I started to talk about my week of hell they "eye rolled" each other. I look normal today and almost feel normal. The few other times (since I've had this) I have seen friends I have also looked "normal" as when I am having a good eye day I want to get together with people. I am even wearing eye liner.. (thanks to the person who suggested the Mac liquid water proof kind). Even though I have put in drops a few times today it has stayed put and not irritated my eyes. All in all I had a day where I felt normal. What I have done different is use a humidifier and the ecco googles last night and am on my 6th day of Doxycycline...that (Doxy) I presume is what got me better the last time so I am assuming that is what may work for me (crossing fingers) although we all know long term antibiotic use is not good b/c eventually it will not work. But, While I want to be hopeful I know better than to be too much so ..as we know it can all come crashing down tomorrow. Have the rest of you had this experience with people; co-workers and friends? How do you deal with it? I know this is a real emotional roller coaster!!!

[Sabrina]

genteal gel

In response to Liz... the gel provides immediate but not long lasting relief for me. I almost do better with the ointment. I know some people have cloudy vision but my poor eyeballs just seem to soak it up. The only thing I don't like is the oily goop all over the outside of my eyes but hey, what ever works. After my 6th day of Doxy I think I may be alittle better. I still don't have tears to speak of but the pain and inflammation is definately improved. Thanks again so much for all of you on here and your advice and kind responses. It makes such a difference!

[calcan]

I just wonder if any of you have had this experience. I have just had a week of hell; dry , red , swollen , burning eyes and putting in drops every 15 minutes. I have complained endlessly to friends about this and been totally isolating myself because I am so miserable. I have nothing else to talk about because it consumes my life. Like someone else posted, (while I am not actively suicidal) I feel many days like I would be happy to just not wake up. Today I had a good day. I had some friends over and I swear when I started to talk about my week of hell they "eye rolled" each other. I look normal today and almost feel normal. The few other times (since I've had this) I have seen friends I have also looked "normal" as when I am having a good eye day I want to get together with people. I am even wearing eye liner.. (thanks to the person who suggested the Mac liquid water proof kind). Even though I have put in drops a few times today it has stayed put and not irritated my eyes. All in all I had a day where I felt normal. What I have done different is use a humidifier and the ecco googles last night and am on my 6th day of Doxycycline...that (Doxy) I presume is what got me better the last time so I am assuming that is what may work for me (crossing fingers) although we all know long term antibiotic use is not good b/c eventually it will not work. But, While I want to be hopeful I know better than to be too much so ..as we know it can all come crashing down tomorrow. Have the rest of you had this experience with people; co-workers and friends? How do you deal with it? I know this is a real emotional roller coaster!!!

I never really talk about it with friends or co-workers. I always try to avoid being too close (physically) in hopes that my irritated eyes will be less noticeable. I guess I should talk about my condition (because I know people notice when they say things like "you look tired") - but I am embarrassed by it. I avoid a lot of social contact. Like you, I have good days and bad days. I have kept a food and eye-drop diary - but I cannot seem to identify the factors that give me good days or bad days. I feel like I have tried everything; however, I have not tried the anti-biotics - I usually have bad reactions to those.