yet again, pie in my face

[autumnn]

Am I the only one who seems to find a treatment that they get all excited about and feel that finally they will be "let out of this dry eye jail" and tell everyone that they are "getting better" only to realize that they were either feeling a placebo effect or just hoping something would work that they actually thought that it worked? In the end you feel like the joke is on you and you have "pie all over your face"? I feel so embarassed posting on this forum because there have been so many times where I have written thinking something has helped me (Freshkote, improved TBUT, Lacriserts- which honestly still might be helping but not enough for my left eye-, etc) only to admit later that I am still suffereing and insecure about ever getting free of this constant pain. I know that I am "chasing down a cure" but I just cant accept living everyday in this kind of pain. Now I am considering going to the Boston Foundation for Sight even though I failed at a local optometrists scleral lenses. The Foundation said that their fit is much different and it is hard to compare. But, how do I get over the fear of more "pie in my face" added with the insult of possibly being out over 7 grand to try something new again. I am so sorry to vent, I just feel so alone and humiliated at times. Thank goodness for this forum.

[mary kenny badami]

Hi, autumnn --

If I were your editor, I would suggest revising your post. You wrote:
" . . . even though I failed at a local optometrists scleral lenses . . . "

Now, if I were writing about such an experience according to MY beliefs and value system, I would have written:
" . . . even though a local optometrists scleral lenses failed me . . . "

I appreciate your bravery in posting so honestly.
I assure you that you are articulating how many of our members and lurkers feel -- or HAVE FELT -- because sometimes things really do get better, honest.

Thank goodness for posters like you!

p.s. On second thought, you don't need an editor. Fact is, your "pie in my face" imagery drew me to your post immediately.

[kitty]

I think you are being too hard on yourself. How many times has the medical profession failed us? DES treatment is trial and error. There are so many factors contributing to one's discomfort, it can be impossible to tell what is helping and what is not on any given day. Maybe the weather was more friendly on the days you tried the new treatment? Keep up the fight.

Personally, I feel much more bummed when a doctor gives me a prescription for Lotemax which makes my eyes feel so good, only to take it away 3 weeks later, telling me he gave me a "pain vacation". It makes me feel stupid for letting myself feel so good for a few weeks knowing full well that I will return to misery shortly. Why bother with the co-pay?

[autumnn]

Thank you so much for your responses. Mary and Kitty I wish you could stand guard in my head and edit my thoughts because even though this is not my/our fault it is hard to not feel the failure and get super down. Anyway, I just love this forum, it is the only place I really feel understood with this pain. Thank you for the kindness

[Stanza]

Sorry to hear things aren't good
I think you should try the Boston Foundation for lenses. It's worth the effort. Definitely

[sazy123]

Am I the only one who seems to find a treatment that they get all excited about and feel that finally they will be "let out of this dry eye jail" and tell everyone that they are "getting better" only to realize that they were either feeling a placebo effect or just hoping something would work that they actually thought that it worked? In the end you feel like the joke is on you and you have "pie all over your face"? I feel so embarassed posting on this forum because there have been so many times where I have written thinking something has helped me (Freshkote, improved TBUT, Lacriserts- which honestly still might be helping but not enough for my left eye-, etc) only to admit later that I am still suffereing and insecure about ever getting free of this constant pain. I know that I am "chasing down a cure" but I just cant accept living everyday in this kind of pain. Now I am considering going to the Boston Foundation for Sight even though I failed at a local optometrists scleral lenses. The Foundation said that their fit is much different and it is hard to compare. But, how do I get over the fear of more "pie in my face" added with the insult of possibly being out over 7 grand to try something new again. I am so sorry to vent, I just feel so alone and humiliated at times. Thank goodness for this forum.

I know exactly how you feel, the amount of things ive tried- and every time its like pie in my face! despite the money spent and everything ive tried i wont stop trying things because something could help and i still believe that. Recently I tried synergies contacts when contacts have been a disaster for me so far!
It is also so hard to tell if anything is helping because my eyes feel normal with other probs- this throat thing has been coming and going for example.
I long to be a person who writes in the dry eye triumphs but i dont think its going to happen!