I need help educating my husband

[Tanner]

My husband in a kind attempt to help me bought a fancy humidifier for me. The problem is it has two blowing fans on it and any wind can be agony. I went to a hotel because he insisted on leaving it on; unfortunately, the hotel was really dry and I had to leave that ($450 later). I also spent an hour in the cold wind trying to catch a cab to get to and from the hotel. Any suggestions please?

[littlemermaid]

What do you think are his greatest fears? What's his usual approach to problem solving? How does he treat more vulnerable people eg his mother, children, less able relatives? Difficult for him or OK?

Also Dr Latkany's book 'Dry Eye Remedy' has been good for us on this - the husband/father finds it medical enough and reassuring enough and 'not just me going on again' enough to feel he understands more about what's happening, like it's a manual, but simple on why things do/don't work and whether he should expect them to/not. This has been important because otherwise his contribution is restricted to 'have you done your eyedrops?' and 'is the humidifier on?' - like that's a fix.

Has he been to medical appointments with you and asked a few questions? That way they feel more ownership. I don't like mine going because it wastes the extremely valuable time and 'pulls focus' off the ongoing treatment questions, but I've had to accept he doesn't get ownership of the problem at all otherwise.

Is there any chance you could find counselling together to help cope with the stress?

[Tanner]

He does go to my appointments. Thanks for your input! We are better. I am not sure if the argument was about the humidifier... but it is turned off now.

[littlemermaid]

That's a relief! The stress of this is massive and LM and I are both having separate counselling now. The waste of money has been awful - doctor fees, travel, endless time off school for appointments and flareups during exams, difficulty finding work to fit round this, savings haemorrhaging, endless money wasted on eyedrops and skin treatments. And we still don't have diagnosis or successful treatment for the systemic inflammatory aspects - rosacea, irritable bowel syndrome, intracranial hypertension. I asked my h to always use filtered water in the humidifier because our water is heavy on chemicals and limescale, but he ignored this and now the humidifier is choked and useless. More money wasted. Tough times. Best wishes to you both, Tanner x