Final solution, feels sad.

[Polsefja]

Hello!

All the posts on this forum has truly helped me understanding dryness and the treatment of it. I can see a slight improvement. But I do everything I can do. The next step, but also only thing left to do is Plugs and/or medicine like Restasis.
I do actually believe this might work so I feel slightly happy, but on the other hand if it wont work I don't think I will ever be happy again in my life.
Has anyone else had this feeling before? What happen? Which part did you go?

[NeedMyEyes]

Have this feeling everday maybe

I get this feeling everytime I try something new...

I went maybe 4 or 5 months before I realized I had a "serious" condition that could stay with me forever.

Since that time, I have started down the list of things to try:

Restasis, Azasite, warm compresses, gland expression, etc. etc. Then I realized that stuff was NEVER going to work and that my eyes were going to get worse and worse and then it would be too late...

And then I panicked. So I started trying EVERYTHING - probing, IPL, LipiFlow, Matrota paddle, etc. etc.

Everytime I find a new solution, I make an appointment as soon as possible. Then when I start to think about it the next day, I am afraid that it won't work because nothing else has worked. So then I look for another solution. And then I make another appointment, etc...

Now my life is full of things all for my eyes. It is my only hobby.

And am I scared? I scared to death. I'm scared that I will go bankrupt trying new things and still nothing will work. And then what will I do?

I am lucky though. I live in the United States and I have good insurance. These 2 things have gotten me a long way so far. Still some things I have to pay for and I am borrowing from family members, banks, etc. Not good, but I am in a bad way right now and if I am successful then I can continue with life and pay everyone back.

You have many things to try.

You still have a lot of hope...

[Mawsky]

Yes, I do get discouraged at times, and it's so easy to get depressed, I feel really anxious when I think that I will not ever be the same, I don't even know what happened with me, I did not have refractory surgery or anything that I can point to that caused this, which means I don't really know what the cause, so how do we cure? I have been on restasis for some time now, I can't say for sure but my eyes seem somewhat better at times, I also have upper plugs (can't plug my lowers as surgically enlarged punctum's) my next move may be permanent closure of lowers. My one hope is that it may go away just like it came on me. It's discouraging that I can't get answers from any doc I've seen, I'm thankful I was neg for sjogrens, or other blood work. The area around my eyes looks so puffy at times and wrinkled, I feel ten years older, it really takes it's toll, and I've only had this for about four months, sometimes I panic when I feel my eyes welling up and no tears at all, it is freaky to think I may never feel a tear roll down my cheek again, it's funny to think you would miss such a thing.

[PotatoCakes]

I feel that way every time I try something new, like the the previous posters. The last time I got plugs (I've gotten them many times over the years), I had such hope. Same with Restasis. Then the serum drops ... And now, I'm hanging all of my hope on the new doctor I have an appt with next week and a new primary care giver that I see next month who might help me find some sort of cause for the dry eyes. I feel like I've been tested for everything out there but surely there must be *something* that can be causing this. My current specialist wants to cauterize since the plugs fall out but it's so permanent, and like he said, my ducts are extraordinarily small so why do something so permanent? Then I read of cases much worse than mine and I fast forward to that. I'm only 40, I could have another 50-60 years of this easily (long lives in my family). Some days I feel so incredibly hopeful; others I feel so scared I cry and feel nauseous.

What you are feeling is normal. Try to hang in there, at least we all have each other and every day, researchers are working on this. Restasis was brought to market in 2003. It takes a long time to bring things to market (studies, FDA approval, etc) so any day now we could hear about something new.

I find that when I seek a cure / cause, I have a much better attitude because I feel proactive. It's when I resign myself to a lifetime of suffering and horror that I get most down. Some days, proactive means going to the pharmacy and buying a new brand of preservative-free eyedrops (I've tried so many it's amazing I can still find new ones but if you go to diff. pharmacies / drug stores, you'd be amazed at how many exist). Some days, it means scouring the Internet. I'm going to a naturopath, a regular MD, I've gone to a rheumatologist, an allergist, mult. eye specialists, and I need to make an appt with an acupuncturist. I plan on leaving no stone unturned. It's what keeps me from curling up and wanting to die some days.

[manitobaskyline]

I think you have a lot to be hopeful for. Plugs made me go from wanted to keep my eyes closed all day long...( I even considered doing this..living blind my choice) Temporary plugs did nothing for me at all. The trick with the plugs in my experience is to have all 4 of my punctums plugged. When I just had the 2 lowers plugged, it didn't help. You can go slowly of course and do them one at a time if you want.

The other thing I experienced about plugs is that they need to fit very snuggly. I had a plug that looked fine but I was still dry. (Don't ask how we proved this...Dr. put some sort of orange drop in my eye and sent me to the waiting room for 30 minutes. I came back in and she told me to blow my nose. There was the proof on the tissue..all the orange had come through. She replaced the plug with a larger one and it made all the difference)

In terms of the restatis, you have much to feel hopeful about. The restatis helped me a lot too. It thinned one of the layers of my tears and helped them to flow more easily.

Oh I think it is very safe for you to be hopeful and that you will be happy again. I understand exactly how you are feeling and I never thought there was any hope for me before I found the right doctor who had an interest in my problem. I had previously gone to another opthalmologist who told me there was nothing I could do for my eyes other than drops and gels. When I finally went for a second opinion, my MG were nearly all scarred shut! Unfortunately there are a percentage of opthalmologist who are much more interested in cataract surgery and have zero interest in something like dry eye.

Please let me know how you do and reach out if you have any questions or need any support.