So bummed out... think the cautery re-opened

[Guest]

I had my cautery re-done last Wednesday (the 17th)... it went so well, my left eye was back to being my "good" eye... even last night at work that left eye was holding on to tons of tears and drippy... was wonderful...

Then when I woke up this morning, the left eye was dry as a bone... I've been awake for an hour now and no signs of tears pooling at all... it feels exactly like it did before I re-did the cautery. I assume it re-opened overnight somehow. I suppose there's a chance it's just inflamed for some reason, hence no tears, and will eventually go back to feeling drippy once again... but I doubt I'd be so lucky....

Frig. Frig. Frig... I'm so frustrated right now I could just cry... /sigh

[Hopeful2]

SAAG,

I'm sooo sorry to hear your cautery may have re-opened. Someone else was posting here about a cautery reopening . . . sounds like it might be common. How many times have you had the cautery done and redone? Somebody said they were going to get sutures done to keep this from happening.

I know how much of a bummer it can feel like when things appear to go wrong.

You are allowec to feel frustrated! I hope it is just inflamed.

[Guest]

Thanks Bella... sometimes I need to hear that it's ok to feel frustrated and to admit it... I feel like I'll be no fun to be around if I talk to people in real life too much about this... after 6 years this, it's old news to them, right?

I was out the other night with a mostly new-to-me group of women at their splurge club... they were all super nice, but you know what the first thing I noticed was when I walked in?

The blasted ceiling fan was on... I spent the first part of the night very squinty and using drops lots since my tears seemed to evaporate instantly with that thing on... but then one of the girls who knew of my eye issues thought to ask me if the fan was bothering my eyes... I said for sure it's better for me if it's off, but that I didn't want them to turn it off if everyone else would be too warm then, as I could tough it out... they turned it off, which was really nice, and then I felt like I had to explain to the others (most of whom had never met me prior to that evening) a bit about my eye issues. I hate those situations... you don't want to come across as whiney when dry eyes sounds like no big deal... but at the same time you want to give them at least an inkling of what's going on so they don't wonder why the fan is a problem... Oh well, I'm sure it will be fine - they seem like I really easy-going nice bunch of women... but still... I hate trying to explain my issues to new people in a social setting... I don't want to be different from everyone else, you know?

That being said, one of the women in the group is legally blind, and couldn't make it last night because she was home recovering from eye surgery after being told she could LOSE one of her eyes. So I guess this group of women is an accepting bunch when it comes to people with health issues. And OMG, compared to that other woman's problems, my own are small... at least I can SEE.

That's one thing that's hard though... on the one hand, when you KNOW other people have things SO much worse than you do, you feel like a real jerk for daring to feel sorry for yourself sometimes. But on the other hand, I (and so many others here) have issues that are pretty damn bad compared to "normal" people, so I suppose I have every right to feel sorry for myself once in a while, as long as I don't wallow in it too long I guess...

Anyhow, this is my second time getting cautery done on that eye - the first time was in Jan. 2010.

That eye is starting to feel a better again now... maybe it really was just inflamed from drying out overnight??? God... I hate this dry eye nonsense... /crossing my fingers it was just inflamed... maybe I'll go have another Oreo cookie to cheer up a bit... now I'm feeling sheepish for getting so upset this morning... maybe it really was just inflamed for a bit... friggin eyes...

[Guest]

Ok... good news... my left eye is once again really wet... don't know what was the matter with it first thing this morning... looks like the cautery is holding up after all!

note to self: don't freak out next time

[tearless2]

Yay, I'm glad your left eye is feeling moist. Isn't that the best?

I hate explaining things to people about my eye issues. I almost would rather they think I'm really eccentric.

Speaking of fans, your story reminded me of a similar situation. Last Spring I was in my son's preschool director's office with my almost 2 year old. He looked up and said "fan, fan". The director, wanting to reinforce his speech and have a conversation about it, walked over to turn it on. I said "no don't turn on the fan" a little quietly because I was embarassed. But, she didn't hear me, so I had to say it much louder and it sounded really....forceful. She looked over at me surprised and said "Well, thank you for telling me not to turn on the fan and being so clear about it. I'm not sure why you don't want the fan but I'm glad you told me". She paused expecting me to explain myself but I just turned red and kept my mouth shut. Yep, I'm the eccentric mom at preschool with some sort of fan phobia --- and that's okay with me

[Trac]

I wear eye moisture goggles every where I go. I tell everyone that ask about my goggles about my dry eyes. I feel that it is the best way to educate people about our problem.

[PotatoCakes]

So glad to hear your cautery has "stuck". Crossing fingers it will stay that way!

[mgshutterbug]

I'm so glad that your left eye is feeling better. And yes, all this going on is alot more than I can take at times, too. Right now, I'm afraid that I have developed macular degeneration in my 'good' eye, which still has a ton of things wrong with it. So now I have to try to get an appt w/corneal specialist for the EBMD, and retinal specialist for the blank spot in central vision in that eye. Am totally terrified.

[Guest]

Last Spring I was in my son's preschool director's office with my almost 2 year old. He looked up and said "fan, fan". The director, wanting to reinforce his speech and have a conversation about it, walked over to turn it on. I said "no don't turn on the fan" a little quietly because I was embarassed. But, she didn't hear me, so I had to say it much louder and it sounded really....forceful. She looked over at me surprised and said "Well, thank you for telling me not to turn on the fan and being so clear about it. I'm not sure why you don't want the fan but I'm glad you told me". She paused expecting me to explain myself but I just turned red and kept my mouth shut. Yep, I'm the eccentric mom at preschool with some sort of fan phobia --- and that's okay with me

That gave me a good laugh! A typical day in life with crazy dry eyes...

[Guest]

I'm so glad that your left eye is feeling better. And yes, all this going on is alot more than I can take at times, too. Right now, I'm afraid that I have developed macular degeneration in my 'good' eye, which still has a ton of things wrong with it. So now I have to try to get an appt w/corneal specialist for the EBMD, and retinal specialist for the blank spot in central vision in that eye. Am totally terrified.

Crossing my fingers for you that everything goes ok...