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This might seem like another rant for most of you good folks but I have to write it for my peace of mind. Life was good before Lasik, My prescription was only -1.50,-1.00 with some astigmatism. Been wearing glasses for 15 years, getting laser surgery was always in the back of my mind. I think most people with glasses at some point do consider getting it. For me, it was just a matter of affordability, and this year I thought I might get it on finance. I never had a problem with glasses apart from my self-image. I work on the computer and rarely do any extreme outdoor activities. But may be somewhere in my subconscious I considered glasses as a sign of weakness. It was my ego which thought I am better than everyone else with glasses. In the end, building my self-image led to my total breakdown. Something came over me early this year, I decided I should get Lasik done. I was ready and I was brave. I did not do a proper research, because I did not want to see any negativity in the reviews. When I would search Lasik, I would only see the success stories, I did not want hear anything negative about Lasik as I thought that might discourage me from getting it. It was like closing your eyes in the sunshine and pretending the sun is not there. I went to the most reputable surgery in Britain and prayed I was fit enough for the procedure. I signed all the consent forms and dismissed the risks as something that they just have to tell us to fulfil some legal requirements. It was like when you get on-board a flight and the stewardess tries to explain what to do in case of an emergency, to which no one pays attention. No one really believes the plane is going to crash. Just like any Lasik surgery, it was over within minutes and I was on my way back with my bloodshot eyes and sunglasses. My left was very clear while the right one was not so focused. First two to three months I thought I was recovering and did not panic about any of the side-effects as I thought I should give my eyes more time. I think it was around the end of the third month that the real suffering began. I began to notice floaters in my eyes, first the right eye and then the left one. These floaters aren’t your normal nuisance specks that we see when we look at a clear blue sky; these are spider webs, dark cellular structures, shadows in my line of sight. And that is when the anxiety and depression kicked in. I went to get the retina checked twice and I was told it was fine but the surgeon refused to blame Lasik for the floaters. It is unbelievable how cold and inhuman they can be. I did not even know what floaters were before my surgery and now I am supposed to enjoy my 20/20 vision filled with dirt in my eyes.
But my misery doesn't end there; my eyes are dry like hell. My eyelids are stuck to my eye ball every morning when I wake up. I have to use my drops every hour and on most nights I can't keep my eyes open as they are so irritated. Every time I go for the post-op care I hear lies and more lies. Now I use warm compress, and take omega-3 for the dryness. Apart from these, I also experience halos and glares and all the other perks you get with Lasik. But I really want to share my post Lasik psychological issues. It has been bad. If it can make a 33 year old man cry like a little baby then it is truly bad. I am living my life like a walking mummy, I find no interest in anything life. Not a minute in my passes in which I don't think about my eyes and the regret of doing this to myself. I walk in the street and notice every single person with glasses on, and I feel so envious. I see beautiful young girls wearing their glasses proudly. If they don't have a problem with it, why did I have an issue, why did I have to be different and special? I am reliving that day in April when I had the procedure every single day and just wishing I could have stopped it happening. How dare you let them cut open your beautiful eyes, how dare you let them permanently damage it. Living with the fact that the flap will always remain a flap, never totally healing, is very difficult. This is no bravery, this is selfishness and stupidity. Bravery is standing up for the weak and offering kindness and help to the ones that are in need. I can't concentrate on my job and I have stopped pursing my hobbies. And the worst is that I have also made the lives of the people close to me very difficult. As for the current situation; my right eye was over corrected from -1.00 to +0.75 and left one was overcorrected from -1.75 to +0.25, so much for their precise lasers and esteemed surgeons. I still have to live with the floaters in my eyes and the dryness is not receding.
I cannot get my eyes or my money back. But I do hope anyone considering doing this to them should know that they are already complete. People who love them will love them with or without glasses. You don't need mutilate yourself to be happy, you are already happy. Thank you very much for reading.
But my misery doesn't end there; my eyes are dry like hell. My eyelids are stuck to my eye ball every morning when I wake up. I have to use my drops every hour and on most nights I can't keep my eyes open as they are so irritated. Every time I go for the post-op care I hear lies and more lies. Now I use warm compress, and take omega-3 for the dryness. Apart from these, I also experience halos and glares and all the other perks you get with Lasik. But I really want to share my post Lasik psychological issues. It has been bad. If it can make a 33 year old man cry like a little baby then it is truly bad. I am living my life like a walking mummy, I find no interest in anything life. Not a minute in my passes in which I don't think about my eyes and the regret of doing this to myself. I walk in the street and notice every single person with glasses on, and I feel so envious. I see beautiful young girls wearing their glasses proudly. If they don't have a problem with it, why did I have an issue, why did I have to be different and special? I am reliving that day in April when I had the procedure every single day and just wishing I could have stopped it happening. How dare you let them cut open your beautiful eyes, how dare you let them permanently damage it. Living with the fact that the flap will always remain a flap, never totally healing, is very difficult. This is no bravery, this is selfishness and stupidity. Bravery is standing up for the weak and offering kindness and help to the ones that are in need. I can't concentrate on my job and I have stopped pursing my hobbies. And the worst is that I have also made the lives of the people close to me very difficult. As for the current situation; my right eye was over corrected from -1.00 to +0.75 and left one was overcorrected from -1.75 to +0.25, so much for their precise lasers and esteemed surgeons. I still have to live with the floaters in my eyes and the dryness is not receding.
I cannot get my eyes or my money back. But I do hope anyone considering doing this to them should know that they are already complete. People who love them will love them with or without glasses. You don't need mutilate yourself to be happy, you are already happy. Thank you very much for reading.
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