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2.5 years ago I got severe dry eye from refractory surgury(PRK).
I had terrible 2.5 years, and now I am cured.
12 years ago I did my first refractory operation.
2.5 years ago I realised that it caused cornea aberations, and my sight was damaged, and I did another one trying to fix it.
My eyes became severly dry, but the doctor told me not to put more then 6 lubricants a day(!!!) I kept on like this 3 months. those 3 months not using lubricants, made it permanent. Then I had the dry eye condition for 2 years. I felt terrible foriegn body sensations- Sand in the eyes. I woke up at night with pain and no cream helped me. I dont know how I managed to work and have normal life. All this time I was ashamed to tell anybody about my condition, and only my wife knew.
At this time, I went to a doctor, who told me that it is unlikely to improve. I was living moment to moment, trying to pass the next moment. In day waiting for the night, and in the night waiting for the day.
I was desperate. Angry at the clinic who treated me, and angry at myself, for playing with my eyes, and not asking advice, and not listening to my wife who told me not to do the operation. The people from the clinic were very cinical and insulting, and spoke nuisense and lies.
At night I woke up and cried like I never did in my life. I had suicidial thoughts.My wife didnt understand at first, and ws upset that I am not happy, that she is pregnant.
They put me temporary plugs, but it only increased irritation.
At this time I looked for help here on this board.. This is a post from this time
http://www.dryeyezone.com/talk/showt...ghlight=jivgil
I thought god hates me.
One day when I walked like this, I saw a post who said, shout to father(meaning god). And I started to cry and ask for cure.
I started to try to put all kind of things in my eyes - black tea, camomile, urine, and as I saw a post about honey here, I tried honey. In a week I was much better, and foreign body sensations, have nearly disapeared.
a post from this time.
http://www.dryeyezone.com/talk/showthread.php?t=12042
The doctor from the clinic said I am fine, and didnt give a treatment but it was far from being like this. I still had severe dry eyes. I would wake up in the night and have pain.
At this time I entered a new spiritual community, and started to have contact with the spiritual leader. He talked with me about faith. I also realised that I need to forgive myself and the poeple who inflicted this on me, and that it is part of the healing proccess. I think having a spiritual path, and community can realy help.
I have been treated in an eye inflamation for a month with steroids, and it didnt go. One day I thought that mabe I got it from looking on inappropriate things- porno, etc. I took a vow that if I will be cured from it, I'll stop it. An hour later the inflamation has gone.
I am not saying that this condition is a punishment, and it doesnt give much to think it is a punishment, but it can wake us up to improve things in life.
One night I woke up in the night in pain and called my mother in law. I told her I want to die.
My wife told me many times, she is calm in her heart, because she knows I will be copletely cured. And even though she was pregnant she supported me.
My mother in law also said she got a sign in a dream that I will be cured and she was calm.
I prayed and cried a lot and felt like I am not receiving a response.
At this time I started to tell people about my conditon. Hiding this from people only made things worse. Poeple realy halped, in advice and even just listening. My boss helped in letting me sit in a place with less air conditioning.
I started to use castor oil, which seemed to allveiate the pain for a short time.
One desperate day, I opened the bible, and it said, "open doors before him
so that gates will not be shut"
The day later, the same doctor I went to 4 times already, finally stared to treat me for Blepharitis. Usually it is a chronical disease, but he told me to stop treatment after 7 weeks, so it seems to have cured.
I still felt pain, and woke up terrified in the night.
On monday they prayed for me in my community, and the same night I woke up my parents from sleep in my terror.
The day after I went to a dry eye specialist, who told me I have nothing. I do have some irritation when I wake up in the morning for about half an hour, but he said it is not coming from the eyes, and it is unclear where it is coming from, and it is not harmfull. I think it is coming from the inside skin of my eyelids. It is reducing anyway.
Since tuesday I havent used a single drop( from 1-2 drops in an hour before) I went to the beach with all the wind, and I sleep like a log. And feel great.
This is coming in good time because I am about to become a father this month.
My conclusions
1. You need to ask for help from people.
2. Be active looking for medicine.
3. A spiritual path can help, if your are comfortable with it.
4. Forgive as much as possible.
5. Hang on. you never know when things will improve.
6. There is a lot to learn from this condition though mabe the only thing you want now is to be healthy. I understand now poeple with health problems, I appreciate more what I have, I appreciate the good freidns and family who supported me. And I learned more then I can express.
Thanks a lot for people here who helped me. Saag, Regina, Lucy, Prattstar, and of course, Rebecca. Rebecca, you are an angle.
I had terrible 2.5 years, and now I am cured.
12 years ago I did my first refractory operation.
2.5 years ago I realised that it caused cornea aberations, and my sight was damaged, and I did another one trying to fix it.
My eyes became severly dry, but the doctor told me not to put more then 6 lubricants a day(!!!) I kept on like this 3 months. those 3 months not using lubricants, made it permanent. Then I had the dry eye condition for 2 years. I felt terrible foriegn body sensations- Sand in the eyes. I woke up at night with pain and no cream helped me. I dont know how I managed to work and have normal life. All this time I was ashamed to tell anybody about my condition, and only my wife knew.
At this time, I went to a doctor, who told me that it is unlikely to improve. I was living moment to moment, trying to pass the next moment. In day waiting for the night, and in the night waiting for the day.
I was desperate. Angry at the clinic who treated me, and angry at myself, for playing with my eyes, and not asking advice, and not listening to my wife who told me not to do the operation. The people from the clinic were very cinical and insulting, and spoke nuisense and lies.
At night I woke up and cried like I never did in my life. I had suicidial thoughts.My wife didnt understand at first, and ws upset that I am not happy, that she is pregnant.
They put me temporary plugs, but it only increased irritation.
At this time I looked for help here on this board.. This is a post from this time
http://www.dryeyezone.com/talk/showt...ghlight=jivgil
I thought god hates me.
One day when I walked like this, I saw a post who said, shout to father(meaning god). And I started to cry and ask for cure.
I started to try to put all kind of things in my eyes - black tea, camomile, urine, and as I saw a post about honey here, I tried honey. In a week I was much better, and foreign body sensations, have nearly disapeared.
a post from this time.
http://www.dryeyezone.com/talk/showthread.php?t=12042
The doctor from the clinic said I am fine, and didnt give a treatment but it was far from being like this. I still had severe dry eyes. I would wake up in the night and have pain.
At this time I entered a new spiritual community, and started to have contact with the spiritual leader. He talked with me about faith. I also realised that I need to forgive myself and the poeple who inflicted this on me, and that it is part of the healing proccess. I think having a spiritual path, and community can realy help.
I have been treated in an eye inflamation for a month with steroids, and it didnt go. One day I thought that mabe I got it from looking on inappropriate things- porno, etc. I took a vow that if I will be cured from it, I'll stop it. An hour later the inflamation has gone.
I am not saying that this condition is a punishment, and it doesnt give much to think it is a punishment, but it can wake us up to improve things in life.
One night I woke up in the night in pain and called my mother in law. I told her I want to die.
My wife told me many times, she is calm in her heart, because she knows I will be copletely cured. And even though she was pregnant she supported me.
My mother in law also said she got a sign in a dream that I will be cured and she was calm.
I prayed and cried a lot and felt like I am not receiving a response.
At this time I started to tell people about my conditon. Hiding this from people only made things worse. Poeple realy halped, in advice and even just listening. My boss helped in letting me sit in a place with less air conditioning.
I started to use castor oil, which seemed to allveiate the pain for a short time.
One desperate day, I opened the bible, and it said, "open doors before him
so that gates will not be shut"
The day later, the same doctor I went to 4 times already, finally stared to treat me for Blepharitis. Usually it is a chronical disease, but he told me to stop treatment after 7 weeks, so it seems to have cured.
I still felt pain, and woke up terrified in the night.
On monday they prayed for me in my community, and the same night I woke up my parents from sleep in my terror.
The day after I went to a dry eye specialist, who told me I have nothing. I do have some irritation when I wake up in the morning for about half an hour, but he said it is not coming from the eyes, and it is unclear where it is coming from, and it is not harmfull. I think it is coming from the inside skin of my eyelids. It is reducing anyway.
Since tuesday I havent used a single drop( from 1-2 drops in an hour before) I went to the beach with all the wind, and I sleep like a log. And feel great.
This is coming in good time because I am about to become a father this month.
My conclusions
1. You need to ask for help from people.
2. Be active looking for medicine.
3. A spiritual path can help, if your are comfortable with it.
4. Forgive as much as possible.
5. Hang on. you never know when things will improve.
6. There is a lot to learn from this condition though mabe the only thing you want now is to be healthy. I understand now poeple with health problems, I appreciate more what I have, I appreciate the good freidns and family who supported me. And I learned more then I can express.
Thanks a lot for people here who helped me. Saag, Regina, Lucy, Prattstar, and of course, Rebecca. Rebecca, you are an angle.
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