At my lowest

[Nanerpus]

I've been posting and lurking for quite a while, but never actually introduced myself. I'm a 26 year old female living in New Hampshrie. I've always had a pingeucula that would occasionally get inflamed and need steroids (alrex) for a week or so to get it back to normal, and that was it.

The last few years I started getting a lot more redness and was diagnosed with dry eye - aqueous deficiency and unstable tear film. Artificial tears a few times a day seemed to work just fine.

Then, this summer, I started having ALOT of red conjunctivitis when I started working at a vet clinic. I have never had allergies to my knowledge, but my eye doctor has always thought there was an allergy component. He also ran TONS of tests to autoimmune diseases, and I saw a rheumatologist to rule out anything. Only thing of significance was 1 ANA test out of 3 was slightly weak positive, speckled. Rheumatologist ran it again on 2 other occasions and he believed it to be a false negative.

So, back to the eye doctor because I soon therafter began getting TERRIBLE attacks of bloodshot, ITCHY, burning eyes. The itch was unbearable. The allergies had reared their ugly head, I suppos. Stayed on Pataday, and went to the allergist, where I tested positive for allergies to dust, molds (year round) and tons of weeds, trees, dustmites, horses (whom I ride daily).


My eye doctor said that since he has seen no evidence of me being a steroid responder in the past, that he thought I should go on Alrex 1x a day for a few months to get the inflammation under control. I resisted, so he gave me Restasis to try instead, thinking it might help the allergy attacks. I tried it twice and had an absolute TERRIBLE reaction to it.

So, yesterday I called and got the order for Alrex. I'm depressed, and I'm at the end of my rope.

I'm unable to engage in social activities, I don't go out at night with my husband, I'm constantly checking my eyes in the mirror, finding them disgusting and bloodshot. I stopped taking my weekly riding lessons with my trainer because I can now only ride with ridiculous goggles on and I'm embarrased about that. I have missed out this entire summer and so far this winter in trail hikes with my dogs, and other fun things. I am thoroughly depressed at this point.

I don't want to stay on a steroid for long at all, no matter how "soft" it is and "safe" my doctor thinks it might be. But at this point, I am missing out on my life. I'm anxious and depressed and angry. I've tried all the allergy cures, bedding, air purifiers, nasal cleansers, I'm on Allegra daily, and nothing works.

I guess I just needed to talk it out to people who understand. Thanks guys.

I guess I should add my routine currently is:

Pataday 1 drop am
Alrex 1 drop am
PF theratears all day long, and gel of some sort with a mask at night
Ocusoft cleanser in the shower
cold compresses
Dwelle 2-4 times a day
Allegra 180 mg 1x a day
Natural remedy for allergies
Fish/Flax Oils and Vit d and Probiotic

[soxboy]

Hello-believe me I feel your pain. Especially with all the social anxiety that this disease brings to you. I have passed on so many events over the past 20 or so years because of the appearance of my eyes. I won't even go to my childrens school for meetings or events unless it is completely necessary. The fear of their father being labeled as an alcoholic or drug user keeps me away. The judgments that are passed are intolerable. That is why I decided to undergo the eye whitening procedure this week. There has to be an end somewhere. Although many people here have listed many risks and doubts about the procedure, the risk to me was worth it. It was either take a chance or keep living a life filled with restrictions. I hope there is a solution to your problem. I have tried everything and anything to get rid of this monster. Everything from colloidal silver to Gold Bond to local honey. Nothing seemed to work. Stay focused and don't ever give up. If this surgery proves to be a failure, I too will keep searching for the answer. Stay well!

[calli66]

Sorry to hear you're suffering so much. I've never had much of a red eye problem, but I was wondering if you could wear a pair of glasses with a slight tint to the lenses when you have to be in social situations. I'm not talking about cheap OTC glasses, but designer frames with PIZAZZ. These frames would be beautiful, exotic, colorful, etc.---something that people would tend to notice instead of your eye condition. If you don't need glasses to see clearly, you would get "plano" lenses (no prescription ground into them).

Ask an experienced optician about the colors of lenses available---maybe there a color that tends to "cancel out" redness, I don't know.

As far as people being judgmental---that's the way some people are, but not everybody. Some people just notice, but don't judge. Other people notice EVERYTHING, and judge everything---your clothes, shoes, purse, hair style.

I think you really have to have some "line"----tell people you have a sensitivity to fluorescent lights and it gives you migraines, for example. At some point, you have to consider if it's really that important what people think in that fleeting moment when they notice your eyes.

But it sounds like your allergies are just terrible! I am so sorry. I get occasional flare-ups, but it's not year round. I am not able to use Restasis or Alrex. My doctor gave me a sample of Xibrom this fall (it's a NSAID type drop), and it helped, but it's very expensive, so I never got a prescription. You might ask about it, though, just to try.

Calli

[neve]

I don't knpw about your DES cause but it seems to me that from what you say your red eye/itchy conjunctivitis began once you began your job at vet clinic, unless I am misreading something. If not, seems likely that you are having a major allergy reaction to dogs, cats both and could be likely (maybe) that this is contributing to your DESA. Of course I can not say for sure but so much od this disease seems like detective work and making assumptions based on what seems likely. HAVE YOU BEEN TESTED FOIR DOG/CAT ALLERGIES?> I would be very cautious to use aklot of a steroid drop and try to find a non steroidal med if you are indeed allergic to pets and determined to continue working there. Just my opinion, and just as an aside, my field of expertise is animals. Wishing you the best and most comfortable outcome.

NBeve