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Hi everyone,
I am a forty-six year old male suffering some severe anxiety and depression about my eyes. I feel so helpless and hopeless. I am tired of the pain and of constantly worrying about my eyes. I am at my wits end and I feel so completely alone, because no one around me can truly understand how I feel. I thought I would reach out to this community in the hopes of making some friends and sharing my story with folks who would understand.
Here is my history - sorry in advance for the length, but I just need to vent:
I had a cornea transplant for severe Keratoconus in my right eye back in June 2010 down in Southern California. Unfortunately I had a complication in form of a graft slip (think partial separation) and had to have the graft resutured - this was done here in Northern California. Due to this I ended up with 8 diopters of astigmatism
In November 2011, I had astigmatic keratotomy (AK) performed to help correct the astigmatism. This partially works and I am scheduled to have another AK surgery in about four weeks .This will hopefully reduce the astigmatism to the point where I can have PRK performed.
So far for the most part everything sounds good…
About six months ago, I started becoming contact lens intolerant. I have been wearing an RGP lens in my eye for over twenty five years and it had never given me trouble. But all of a sudden I became aware of that I was wearing a lens and I was putting more and more drops in it. At the same time, my right eye started feeling sore later in the day, and adding drops to it would make it sting.At the time I was putting Lotemax drops in my transplant eye once a day.
I should add that prior to my AK I tried a scleral lens in my right eye. But I don't think it was a great fit, and I was suffering dryness. My local doctor put a punctual plug (smart plug) in my eye. For a few days it felt great, but then it didn't seem to help anymore. I eventually stopped with the sclerals
My surgeon in LA said I had Blephertis and put me on erythromycin ointment for eight weeks. This helped a little.
For the past 8 weeks, I have be on Restasis. It has worked really well in my left eye and I am able to tolerate my RGP much better. However, things have not been so good with my right eye.
in this eye I have noticed that I am at times a little light sensitive, then my eye becomes sore. Other times,my eye will just become sore without light sensitivity. It almost feels as if something is underneath going on under the eyelid, but I think this is just referred pain. This happens two to three times a day and lasts for an hour or so. Bombarding with drops doesn't seem to help too much.
Over the past few nights, I have felt sharp pricks in my eye followed by intense soreness. Not much seems to help this except putting in some genteel gel and my quartz eye goggles and going to sleep.
I went and saw my local doctor yesterday and he did a pretty thorough exam: eye pressure, staining, checking under my eyelid etc. He said that he thought it was dry eye pretty much as soon as he put the staining dye in my eye i.e. because of the uptake of the dye
I should add that a couple weeks ago I had a Schimers test performed. The left eye was at 12 and the right eye was over 22 - so its kind of weird what I am feeling given that my right eye seems to have more tears and I guess I may have fluctuation tears?
My doctor said that it can take up to four months for Restasis to work. I guess I'm a little skeptical. Also I have read that Restasis doesn't work in eyes that have a punctual plug and my right eye is plugged. Others sites indicate that Restasis works just fine or even better with plugs, so I am totally confused.
I am also wondering if things were not so bad with my right (transplant) eye till more recently because I had been on steroids such as Prednisalone, Lotemax, and Tobradex, and they were keeping the dry eye at bay?
What is causing me so much anxiety is that I feel things are getting worse not better. I am panicked about being able to do less and less in my life and becoming more dependent on others. It is really freaking me out i.e. full on panic attacks, anxiety, night sweats, nightmares etc...
I'll close by describing my hygiene/medication regimen:
Night:
- Warm rice baggie 5 minutes
- Eyelid expression with saline soaked Q-Tip
- Occuscrub pad for 10-15 seconds
- Restasis - keep eyes closed looking down for 2 mins
- Genteel gel and Quartz googles before sleeping
Morning
- Shower
- Eyelid expression with saline soaked Q-Tip
- Occuscrub pad for 10-15 seconds
- Restasis - keep eyes closed looking down for 2 mins
During the day I use a combination of TheraTears lubricating eye drops and eye gel as needed
I would love to hear everyone's comments/thoughts. I just don't want to feel so alone and as if I'm the only one going through this
I am a forty-six year old male suffering some severe anxiety and depression about my eyes. I feel so helpless and hopeless. I am tired of the pain and of constantly worrying about my eyes. I am at my wits end and I feel so completely alone, because no one around me can truly understand how I feel. I thought I would reach out to this community in the hopes of making some friends and sharing my story with folks who would understand.
Here is my history - sorry in advance for the length, but I just need to vent:
I had a cornea transplant for severe Keratoconus in my right eye back in June 2010 down in Southern California. Unfortunately I had a complication in form of a graft slip (think partial separation) and had to have the graft resutured - this was done here in Northern California. Due to this I ended up with 8 diopters of astigmatism
In November 2011, I had astigmatic keratotomy (AK) performed to help correct the astigmatism. This partially works and I am scheduled to have another AK surgery in about four weeks .This will hopefully reduce the astigmatism to the point where I can have PRK performed.
So far for the most part everything sounds good…
About six months ago, I started becoming contact lens intolerant. I have been wearing an RGP lens in my eye for over twenty five years and it had never given me trouble. But all of a sudden I became aware of that I was wearing a lens and I was putting more and more drops in it. At the same time, my right eye started feeling sore later in the day, and adding drops to it would make it sting.At the time I was putting Lotemax drops in my transplant eye once a day.
I should add that prior to my AK I tried a scleral lens in my right eye. But I don't think it was a great fit, and I was suffering dryness. My local doctor put a punctual plug (smart plug) in my eye. For a few days it felt great, but then it didn't seem to help anymore. I eventually stopped with the sclerals
My surgeon in LA said I had Blephertis and put me on erythromycin ointment for eight weeks. This helped a little.
For the past 8 weeks, I have be on Restasis. It has worked really well in my left eye and I am able to tolerate my RGP much better. However, things have not been so good with my right eye.
in this eye I have noticed that I am at times a little light sensitive, then my eye becomes sore. Other times,my eye will just become sore without light sensitivity. It almost feels as if something is underneath going on under the eyelid, but I think this is just referred pain. This happens two to three times a day and lasts for an hour or so. Bombarding with drops doesn't seem to help too much.
Over the past few nights, I have felt sharp pricks in my eye followed by intense soreness. Not much seems to help this except putting in some genteel gel and my quartz eye goggles and going to sleep.
I went and saw my local doctor yesterday and he did a pretty thorough exam: eye pressure, staining, checking under my eyelid etc. He said that he thought it was dry eye pretty much as soon as he put the staining dye in my eye i.e. because of the uptake of the dye
I should add that a couple weeks ago I had a Schimers test performed. The left eye was at 12 and the right eye was over 22 - so its kind of weird what I am feeling given that my right eye seems to have more tears and I guess I may have fluctuation tears?
My doctor said that it can take up to four months for Restasis to work. I guess I'm a little skeptical. Also I have read that Restasis doesn't work in eyes that have a punctual plug and my right eye is plugged. Others sites indicate that Restasis works just fine or even better with plugs, so I am totally confused.
I am also wondering if things were not so bad with my right (transplant) eye till more recently because I had been on steroids such as Prednisalone, Lotemax, and Tobradex, and they were keeping the dry eye at bay?
What is causing me so much anxiety is that I feel things are getting worse not better. I am panicked about being able to do less and less in my life and becoming more dependent on others. It is really freaking me out i.e. full on panic attacks, anxiety, night sweats, nightmares etc...
I'll close by describing my hygiene/medication regimen:
Night:
- Warm rice baggie 5 minutes
- Eyelid expression with saline soaked Q-Tip
- Occuscrub pad for 10-15 seconds
- Restasis - keep eyes closed looking down for 2 mins
- Genteel gel and Quartz googles before sleeping
Morning
- Shower
- Eyelid expression with saline soaked Q-Tip
- Occuscrub pad for 10-15 seconds
- Restasis - keep eyes closed looking down for 2 mins
During the day I use a combination of TheraTears lubricating eye drops and eye gel as needed
I would love to hear everyone's comments/thoughts. I just don't want to feel so alone and as if I'm the only one going through this
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