Angry about Lasik

[honeybeerose]

I had Lasik over 6 months ago after years of thinking about it. I've been wearing contacts since I was 15. I was very nearsighted -4 in the Right and -5 in the left. I could make it around the house without contacts but could not recognize facial expressions or read the computer screen.

For about 6 months to a year prior I was having more difficulty with my contacts. Them blurring up or feeling like something was in my eye, even with brand new lenses. It was frustrating. I didn't know this was from dry eyes, or that dry eyes would increase my chances for extreme dry eyes after Lasik. When I went in for the consult they asked me why I was getting it and I told them because of the discomfort with contacts and glasses drove me sort of nuts with all of the little light reflections and the feeling of them on my face. They checked my eyes and said that my corneas were a bit thin and seemed a little concerned about this. I asked about complications because of the thin corneas both to the nurse and the doctor directly. They said it just meant I may not be able to have traditional Lasik but need PRK instead. They would check it again after I hadn't worn contacts for a week and the doctor would decide if I qualified for Lasik.

Nobody said anything about my increased risks for issues because of my dry eyes and thin corneas. The discomfort from contacts I mentioned seemed to be more of a good reason for lasik they didn't seem concerned at all about it. I also have very large pupils, they didn't mention, my increased risk because of this, of night halos.

When I went back after over a week without contacts the doctor decided Lasik was best and would heal faster. I went with the most expensive option, wavefront technlolgy and Lasik. I charged the 4K to my credit card and thought of it as a gift of a lifetime to myself. The procedure itself is nightmarish. Very unpleasant.

The usual symptoms after, extreme burning like soap in my eyes, hot and painful. I was not able to go back to work the next day, like they advertise. It was several days before I could see clear enough to try to start working. I was putting in drops every few minutes which makes everything blurry and distorted. I couldn't keep my eyes open for too long for about two weeks and realized how much we depend on our eyes. The halos at night were so intense I didn't want to have my eyes open or even go out at night. I felt depressed and felt like I wanted to pluck my eyeballs out from the horrible discomfort. I thought about suicide.

I felt terrified that I had really ****ed up my eyes with this elective surgery. I am 20/20 in my left, and not as good in my right so I feel like I'm walking around with one contact lens that is blurry or the wrong prescription. It's not enough to correct they said and I wouldn't dare try to "improve" anything in this way again. I'm terrified by horror stories I didn't read about until after this happened.

One of the worst feelings is feeling like you're wearing contacts with really dry irritated eyes but you can't take them out and get relief.

One of the things I allowed to weigh into the decision was the money I would save on contact lenses and solution and less dependence on having to carry around the solutions and contact stuff. Ha! I have to use eye drops from every 5 minutes to every hour and they are not cheap at all. I haven't even looked to see how much I'm spending on this stuff. I feel completely dependent on eye drops and can't get through a dinner or meeting without having to put them in. The thought of being without them scares me. Over the last few weeks after I let my eyes dry out while driving It's gotten worse. Especially in my left eye. I have to wake up 3 or 4 times a night to put drops in. The gel no longer works at night. The doctor suggested I could try Ristasis, but I'm terrified to try anything else with my eyes for fear of side effects.

I use enlargement on the computer screen now because of the distortion from the right eye being blurry and the distortion from drops. The clarity fluctuates like wearing contacts with deposits or crap on them. Movies are never clear. Low light there is always noticeable blurriness. My eyes feel uncomfortable about 90% of the time.

The best advice I read was to try not to focus on the blurriness and the brain will compensate. This has helped me. Focusing on the problem does make it worse, so it's been a lesson in mind training as well. The night halos did get a little better. I can drive now, in part because I learned how to ignore the distracting halos. I have to work on not going down the path of horrible regret that I did this to my eyes and just move forward. I feel angry that I wasn't given a personalized risk assessment when going into this, but there's no going back. I just have to deal with the consequences.

Looking back now I could have gone to my optometrist and asked about the contacts bothering my eyes, or gotten a better pair of glasses. I still remember that wonderful feeling of taking out my contacts at night and having relief from eye discomfort. I need to let go of that memory... it's depressing.

[Rebecca Petris]

Hi there and welcome. So sorry to hear this. The anger is understandable. Sigh.

Re: Your vision. They said "It's not enough to correct" - but they mean surgically. Assuming your blur is all correctible with glasses (i.e. due to residual or induced refractive error - I wonder if you have a little induced astigmatism or something?), why not get some glasses? I know, defeats the original purpose but so what when you're struggling like this. You can even just think of it as a temporary thing if that helps. LASIK outfits are often resistant to prescribing glasses because they feel it will detract from your satisfaction with the surgery but heck you can go to Walmart or anywhere. The reason I suggest it is that any kind of blur or slight eyestrain on top of dry eye makes it all harder to bear. If you are right eye dominant that would be all the more reason.

Try to read up on ways to manage dry eye pain without constantly dosing with drops as that frequent dosing can compound the problems whether or not they are preservative free.

Hang in there

p.s. Don't read horror stories, and don't be afraid to try new things. Do be kind to yourself

[honeybeerose]

Thank you Rebecca. It helps not to feel so alone in this. I would like to find out more about the problems using drops but can't seem to find what the problem it causes is or how to know if it is causing the problem. Like I said, it seemed to get much worse when I allowed my eyes to dry out, then I had to increase my use of drops. I'm not sure if it's related to letting my eyes get very dry. Perhaps it's that your eyes start to get dependent on drops and not having to create your own tears? I would like to know where to get the goggles I've seen mentioned as I also work in front of the computer which makes things worse. Thank you for this forum.

[Rebecca Petris]

I would like to find out more about the problems using drops but can't seem to find what the problem it causes is or how to know if it is causing the problem.

Think of it as overmedicating... or leaching the surface by too much of the wrong stuff diluting/washing out the good stuff. But the point I'm really trying to make is to figure out what's actually going on with the tear film and meet its needs (e.g. improve the tear quality, improve the tear quantity, decrease evaporative loss via lids failing to close, etc) while also meeting our need for better eye comfort and trying not to let those two goals conflict. As opposed to using the ubiquitous drops for any and all problems. For most of us drops really are necessary - but for many, they can be reduced by using other tools like moisture glasses or treating certain problems at the source. Really depends on diagnosis.

I would like to know where to get the goggles I've seen mentioned as I also work in front of the computer which makes things worse.

Pages 4-5 of this link have a good overview of a lot of types of glasses/goggles with ideas about how to choose. There's stuff in the Dry Eye Shop here but also you can go to a local sports optical shop for good options and to be able to try things on before buying since fit is really important.

[Joseph]

Rebecca is 100% right when she says don't read horror stories on the computer. I did that for a long time and the only thing they do is scare the hell out of you. You have found the right place my being here at the Dry Eye Zone. We are here to help each other and not just say, " We are all doomed and there is no hope". Hang tight and be patient. Things will get better..

[robster]

Second everything that has been said about not reading the horror stories. The frequency that you are using your drops "every 5 minutes to every hour" reminds me of myself.

I had LAISK in August 2011 and from then until February I used drops every hour oftentimes more without fail. Then I read something on this site that said you can overdo the eye drops and it discourages your own eyes from producing tears. On 1st March I cut right back on using the drops and I don't know if that is the reason but my eyes are so much better now than they were a few months ago. I remember after I cut back dramatically on the drops I had a really horrendous couple of weeks in March but I persisted in not using the drops as much. My eyes while not totally comfortable I would say my left eye is at about 90% of what it was pre-LASIK and my right about 70-75%.

What I would suggest if you do try cutting back on the drops is don't do what I did and go from using drops 20 times a day to 3 times a day, try and cut back gradually.

I probably use drops about 2-3 times a day on an average day and on a bad day about 4-5 times. I've even had a few days(three I think) when I haven't used drops at all!

[honeybeerose]

Wow Robster, that's great to hear. Since I read Rebecca's post I really thought about this and started cutting back already, giving my eyes a chance to do their thing. I can see how it makes sense that if you're always putting drops in the signal is saying, 'no tears needed'. Anyway. I have felt the dryness come and go even without using drops so that's hopeful. I used them a lot less today and yes, like you say there's a little discomfort, but unless it's major I'm just going to monitor and use them less often when possible.

Thanks all of you for the support.

[Rebecca Petris]

Just want to insert a note about the idea of cutting back on drops:

We've got tons of 'anecdotal' reports on the board that cutting back from excessive (esp. more frequently than every hour) dropping helps people recover, assuming they're treating their eyes properly otherwise and finding other ways to manage pain. And I think those reports are really significant. But as regards the REASONS why it helps, we don't know; it hasn't been studied to the best of my knowledge.

I've often seen it suggested that overusing tears somehow suppresses your natural tear production. Frankly that doesn't make sense to me. As I understand it, basal tear secretion - as opposed to reflex tear secretion - is not triggered by the sensation of dryness (which is what many, maybe MOST overusers of artificial tears are using them to control). That's why when you want to measure basal tear production with Schirmers, you anaesthetize the cornea first.

Another view on the reasons - the one I first heard from Dr. Holly ages ago - was the idea that overusing any drops in the eye basically leaches the eye surface. There's a lot of important stuff in natural tears that is not and never will be in artificial tears and the more stuff we dump in our eyes, the less of the good stuff (what little of it we even have) can stick around. That makes more sense to me. But like I said, I don't believe this has been studied.

[robster]

I would just say Honeybeerose that is just my theory on why my eyes have started improving. I also think that nerve recovery has played quite a significant role as my MG's are still as mildly-moderately blocked as they were at my one month post-LASIK check up.

If you feel you need to use your drops by all means use them just try to use them when you need to rather than as a force of habit. If your eyes need drops 15 times a day then use them 15 times a day. Don't just put them in every 40 minutes or so like I used to whether I needed to or not.

[honeybeerose]

Yes, I understand. I did let my eyes dry out too much before when I was driving, which seemed to make the problem worse since. I'm making sure I'm not doing that, but just being more conscious of the need for drops. I actually had the thought about overusing them was perhaps interfering with natural tear production a day or two before I came on this site.

Thanks for your concern. I won't not use them if my eyes are really dry, but I'm just noticing that sometimes if I just wait a little bit the natural tears do catch up. It's just slower than it was. I was able to cut back yesterday to about once every hour or so without any ill effect. I was actually surprised to find that my tears would catch up if I gave it about a minute, just being gentle with them. If they were too dry though, then drops are important. I don't create other problems like scratching or dry spots.

Other factors are probably less stress about it from just being on here and expressing myself and reading from others has helped as well as being busy with yard work which takes my mind off of it and my eyes away from the computer screen. I work as a web designer and notice the dryness from sitting for too long in front of the screen.

[Sammy B.]

HBR,

I had LASIK in Jan of 2008, was almost -8 in both eyes. Mild to moderate dry eye (daily drop usage) happened right after and then major dry eye hit when I became depressed/stressed/anxious about a year later due to personal problems. As we know, stress brings on pain in other parts of the body.

After I dug myself out of the mental hole, I was able to focus on righting the ship, so to speak. I stopped the drops (they weren't even helping and I felt like I was flushing my $ down the toity), got some good readers for the computer which eliminated the headache/strain (I have a residual astigmatism), started using gel and a mask at night, and driving with goggle-shades on. Things really improved for me after that. Doxycycline helped me even more as I suffer from MGD.

What I think you need to find out IF the dryness continues is what else is going on with your eyes other than the LASIK. Why couldn't you tolerate contacts? For instance, I know now that I have a slightly low tear production but my biggest problem is significant blockage of my meibomian glands, or what is otherwise called MGD, so I have a low oil content in my tear film. I, like you, could not wear contact lenses anymore. So, that's what you need to find out, and if you resolve that, you will probably find a lot of comfort down the road.

Are my eyes perfect? No, but do they bother me constantly or if I have a bad day, do I let it bring me down? No way. I blink a few times and brush it off. If this is something you will need to deal with years down the road, it just becomes an annoyance, not something worth beating yourself up over. So there's a light at the end of the tunnel, just try to focus on it.

Rose

[honeybeerose]

A followup to my experiment of cutting down on drops. It's been two months now. Within days of starting to cut back I'm no longer using eye drops throughout the day. In the morning when I wake up I still am, and sometimes once in the evening. That's it!

Now I'm a little mad about eyedrops. The doctor didn't mention they could contribute to keeping eyes dry. Thank you guys for this forum, and the support and information you offered that I couldn't find anywhere else. I want to go to a pure saline solution for my drops when I need them.