Hello all,
First, I'm very happy to have found a group of people dealing with the same issues as me. This disease has been the hardest thing I have ever delt with in my life and knowing I'm not alone is some comfort. But, knowing what this is like, if I had the power I would wish for nothing less than to heal each and every one of you and free you from the suffering. This disease has brought out so much empathy in me for others now that I can truly say I suffer, and know what this form of chronic pain is like.
My story is short. I have always had drier than normal eyes but never to the point where I thought about it a lot. Suddenly, 5 months ago I noticed quite a bit of discomfort. I was dealing with summer allegies so I thought it was that. Tried allergy drops with no results. Tried eye drops, vut they didn't help. I had a week where my eyes felt fine again, then things went down hill quickly. Suddenly, I could barely drive my car to work because the burning pain was too much and couldn't keep my eyes open. I could hardly function at work. By noon everyday I was unable to function. My eyes were just DONE.
Weeks of this occurred with no relief. I would barely drive home after work with both eyes squinted shut and just shaking in pain. Crawl in bed with the lights off and close my eyes. The pain didn't go away and I would just pray for sleep.
I ended up becoming suicidal and having fairly regular panic attacks about the pain never stopping, fearing I would never figure this out, lose my job, etc. (I had been seeing an eye doctor for 3 months and was only getting worse. I was losing hope). I committed myself to an inpatient mental facility to keep safe from suicide for 3 days. Speaking with my family when they visited reminded me of the support I have and was good for me in the long run.
It has been a month since that very very low point and I am still trying new things and keeping to my daily maintenance routine (even if I feel no better then 5 months ago) I have to keep trying. The thought that I am only 29 years old and my life has gotten so much harder keeps me up at night some times. I also have 2, 6 month old twin babies and a wife. Much is needed of me but I can only function at about 50 percent most of the time.
Thankfully some cheap 3m sealing glasses have saved my life the past 3 weeks. I have a minus 7 Rx and can not for the life of me find moisture glasses that fit this prescription. I choose to be nearly blind and have sealing safety glasses on than feel more pain without.
My doctor says I have MGD. I have tried lipiflow (1k out of pocket), restasis, flax seed oil, fish oil, drinking water, lid cleansers, vitamins, lower plugs, hundreds of dollars in drops (I've settled on systane ultra for lubrication...doesn't help with pain but reduces damage from dryness), warm and cold compresses....etc.
The only time I feel normal is when I am asleep and dreaming. I can't function without moisture chambers for more than 20 minutes to an hour in a 24 hour day.
The worst thing is that my symptoms are worse while I sleep. This leaves me with a feeling of hopelessness to give my eyes a chance to heal. They dry out substantially more when I am sleeping. I have used gels, and ointments, tranquil eyes, dehumidifeier, etc. but none help at night. Like clockwork I wake up every 3 hours with severe dryness, put a drop in and go back to bed. Rinse and repeat.
If anyone has a similar issue and has found night time relief I would be more than grateful to hear your advice. It is so strange because as bad as my eyes are during the day, at night they are much worse dryness-wise.
Apologies for the long first post but I wanted to get everything out here in one go. A bit theraputic writing it all down. Anyways, thanks for listening to my little rant. I hope to make friends here, provide support to those that I can, and learn from all of the experiences you all have with this disease.
First, I'm very happy to have found a group of people dealing with the same issues as me. This disease has been the hardest thing I have ever delt with in my life and knowing I'm not alone is some comfort. But, knowing what this is like, if I had the power I would wish for nothing less than to heal each and every one of you and free you from the suffering. This disease has brought out so much empathy in me for others now that I can truly say I suffer, and know what this form of chronic pain is like.
My story is short. I have always had drier than normal eyes but never to the point where I thought about it a lot. Suddenly, 5 months ago I noticed quite a bit of discomfort. I was dealing with summer allegies so I thought it was that. Tried allergy drops with no results. Tried eye drops, vut they didn't help. I had a week where my eyes felt fine again, then things went down hill quickly. Suddenly, I could barely drive my car to work because the burning pain was too much and couldn't keep my eyes open. I could hardly function at work. By noon everyday I was unable to function. My eyes were just DONE.
Weeks of this occurred with no relief. I would barely drive home after work with both eyes squinted shut and just shaking in pain. Crawl in bed with the lights off and close my eyes. The pain didn't go away and I would just pray for sleep.
I ended up becoming suicidal and having fairly regular panic attacks about the pain never stopping, fearing I would never figure this out, lose my job, etc. (I had been seeing an eye doctor for 3 months and was only getting worse. I was losing hope). I committed myself to an inpatient mental facility to keep safe from suicide for 3 days. Speaking with my family when they visited reminded me of the support I have and was good for me in the long run.
It has been a month since that very very low point and I am still trying new things and keeping to my daily maintenance routine (even if I feel no better then 5 months ago) I have to keep trying. The thought that I am only 29 years old and my life has gotten so much harder keeps me up at night some times. I also have 2, 6 month old twin babies and a wife. Much is needed of me but I can only function at about 50 percent most of the time.
Thankfully some cheap 3m sealing glasses have saved my life the past 3 weeks. I have a minus 7 Rx and can not for the life of me find moisture glasses that fit this prescription. I choose to be nearly blind and have sealing safety glasses on than feel more pain without.
My doctor says I have MGD. I have tried lipiflow (1k out of pocket), restasis, flax seed oil, fish oil, drinking water, lid cleansers, vitamins, lower plugs, hundreds of dollars in drops (I've settled on systane ultra for lubrication...doesn't help with pain but reduces damage from dryness), warm and cold compresses....etc.
The only time I feel normal is when I am asleep and dreaming. I can't function without moisture chambers for more than 20 minutes to an hour in a 24 hour day.
The worst thing is that my symptoms are worse while I sleep. This leaves me with a feeling of hopelessness to give my eyes a chance to heal. They dry out substantially more when I am sleeping. I have used gels, and ointments, tranquil eyes, dehumidifeier, etc. but none help at night. Like clockwork I wake up every 3 hours with severe dryness, put a drop in and go back to bed. Rinse and repeat.
If anyone has a similar issue and has found night time relief I would be more than grateful to hear your advice. It is so strange because as bad as my eyes are during the day, at night they are much worse dryness-wise.
Apologies for the long first post but I wanted to get everything out here in one go. A bit theraputic writing it all down. Anyways, thanks for listening to my little rant. I hope to make friends here, provide support to those that I can, and learn from all of the experiences you all have with this disease.
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