New and feeling blue or red in my case

[ggky59]

Hi everyone

As I sit and type, a mirror is next to me as I am obsessed with the redness in my eyes. A beautiful day outside, the first of my two days off and here I am typing hoping against all hope somebody somewhere on these threads can help me. Thank you Rebecca for the introductory encouragement and I will try your suggestions.

I really hope as we all learn, that OTC eye drops are for short term USE ONLY!! Something I am learning, however too late. I was obsessed with Opcon A, it seemed to be the only thing that helped keep my eyes clear to the end, since all the others wore off. Then out of the blue, my eyes got redder and redder, until I finally read the warning labels that said...prolong use would lead to this....and here I am with, Rebound Hyperemia.....something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

Nothing save for weaning myself off the drops is gonna help me. I am going on day 3 of using nothing but Refresh and although the red isn't as bad, my eyes are still red and horrible looking. I have been to a lot of eye sites and everyone has gotten better but its taken months upon months to get there....I don't have months. I am literly on the verge of quiting my job because I can't take the stares anymore or the constant questions of am I okay. I hate going in public because people seem frightened of the crack head/ drug addicted me, or the lady that's high....I know its all in my head, but thats how I feel with the looks. I wear sun shades to hide my eyes but I'm blind as it is and I need my px glasses to see while shopping.

2014 is nightmare year for me, I just want to know will it ever get better??

[tealeaf]

Hi ggky59,
Hope you are feeling better today. I just have to drop a reply here as I know how tough it is to go through DES. Many of us here are pressing on each day. 2013 Dec was the worst time of my life (I almost tendered resignation back then and also burst into tears in office), but it is getting slightly brighter over the months. As you keep keeping on and seeking treatment, 2015 will be a better year fo you (and for me as well).

Hang in there .... God bless us all

[cathy8889]

Sorry you're having an awful time, I'm still trying to heal my eyes, I don't think they will ever be how I would like them to be. Keep fighting how your eyes make you feel, I know from personal experience that being out of work with this condition is much worse than being in work, too much time to think and not being around people can make your eye redness seem worse. Best of luck xx

[DryLondoner]

My two cents worth:

A lot of my redness is in my head and gets worse as I get more stressed. I use to look at a mirror every 10 minutes and get more stressed and redder. Now I probably check them every couple of hours, at some point I know I'll only look at them a couple times a day. Also, l saw a counsellor and while it didn't cure me it was helpful.

I also wear my glasses everywhere. For a while I let myself go and didn't bother to look nice, I was depressed I guess. Now I make an effort, and funnily enough I get the same compliments from friends and in my head I think "how can I look nice with these eyes!" but I don't say this, I smile and pray that tomorrow they will be better.

There will be some really dark days. And when I have one, I have to think about when my eyes were really bad and did get better, so they will get better again. I know its hard, this time last week I refused to shower or get out of bed. This week I've been out twice already. It will take time. Give yourself time to heal. I think about all the crap I have been pouring into my poor body over the last 11 months, all those chemicals in my body. So I figure maybe I have to heal my body as well as my eyes. I've been watching a lot of videos about healthy eating and curing the body with nutrition. It gives me hope. I've cut wheat and eat piles of organic veg. Try to attack the problem from all angles - I have to say, while my eyes aren't fab yet, my skin hasn't looked so good in years.

Every morning I drink a warm cup of water with lemon - I swear it has helped the redness. It hasn't gone, but my eyes look a tiny bit clearer.

I wish you well, and look forward to reading your posts about how you are making progress!

[ggky59]

Thanks for the reply, I really appreciate your concern. Its been a week and a few days and still the redness is there. I'm only using Refresh and Systane now, just to keep my eyes moist. I have a new pair of glasses coming in a few weeks with a slight tint in it just to hide the hiddeousness in my eyes, I'm so disgusted with them now. But I am getting better in accepting this as the norm but its hard. I have my last of eye appt's coming up next week and hopefully I can just accept this.

[ggky59]

Thanks Cat....Like you I don't think its ever going to get better for me again and I have to come to a place of acceptance, but its not easy, not easy at all. I just hope I haven't done anything damaging to my eyes. I have my last eye appt coming up next week, I hope I can get some good news. Thanks for your concern.

[ggky59]

WOW, a whole year??? (sigh).....I'm slowly weaning myself off the mirror, but its hard. I can't wait to get my tinted glasses, I think that will help me a whole lot. Until then, its all up hill for me. And yes, I do hope 2015 will be a better year. Have a blessed day and thanks for your concern.