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  • I actually paid someone to ruin my life!

    I gave birth to my beautiful, healthy baby girl on Valentine's day 2007. My son had just turned 21 months. I had been wearing contacts for a couple of months, since my sight was bothering me. I could not stand glasses. I have Multiple Sclerosis (MS) and am left with peripheal double vision so glasses were very bothersome. And not very esthetic, I hated the way I looked with glasses. For years, I "lived" with seeing a little blurry (at -1 in both eyes, it wasn't THAT bad). Then, I got contacts... the best thing since sliced bread.

    After having my baby, I would put in my contacts and I would get terrible halos, double vision, etc. It gave me such bad headaches and nausea too. (At that time, I did not know of dry eyes and that these symptoms I suffered were all part of it...it all seems so clear now!!!) I started thinking about laser eye surgery : many of my friends had had it and raved on how wonderful their life was now, no glasses, no fiddling with contact lenses. My my daughter turned 3 months, I went to a clinic downtown : though I was told I was an excellent candidate, I felt like a "number". I had another friend who had had intra-ocular lenses put it at the Michel Pop clinic. He told me how great everything had been, and how much support he had from the surgeon and his team of nurses. The surgery was on Montreal (2 hrs away) but there was a clinic half and hour away where I could talk to the doctor via video conference. He assured me I was an excellent candidate, that MS was not a problem - he had seen many patients with MS, and that most of his patients, like me, could no longer wear contact lenses. He was very knowledgeable and I felt trust in him.

    I had the surgery in May 2007. The 1st week post-op: it was the best decision I had ever taken! I saw crystal clear, no glasses, no contacts!

    But then it started... the first symptom I had was double vision. Then pain. And severe photophobia. And halos. And headaches, bad bad headaches. The surgeon said all of this had nothing to do with the surgery and that I possibly had a brain tumor (!) by coincidence. I was told be the nurse to put drops every 30 minutes to alleviate symptoms (it worked but it was such a hassle with an infant and a 2 yr old...) About 4 weeks post-op, I drove to Montreal to have plugs inserted...but when I got there, the doctor didn't want to put some in. He said my eyes would go back to normal on their own. He assured me "you will not stay like this". I was put on steroid drops. When the doctor felt he could no longer help me, I was referred to the Eye Institute of the Critical care wing of the General hospital. I saw the best of the best. I was put on Restasis, had plugs inserted, etc. My schirmer's were 2mm and 8mm. After 3 months, they had gone up to 21mm and 30mm. I also stared to have huge veins in my eyes. "But your eyes are healthy! And they produce enough tears now! I don't know why you still have symtoms!", was all the doctor could say. I then met with this doctor and the surgeon : now things had "changed" a little. Those big vessels I had were an autoimmune reaction, since I have an autoimmune disease. I felt like murdering somebody if you know what I mean...
    We then tried Doxycycline : nothing changed. I was told in June 2008 to try to have a nice summer, and my next appointment is next week (September).

    Well, I'm now 15 months post-op. Though my vision is 20/15 in the "right" conditions, I still suffer severe photophobia (if I open my eyes outside, I get an instand headache), bad halos and the worst of all for me, I have these HUGE unsighly veins that cross my scleras (the white part of my eye) and touch my colour. I have 2 in one eye, that form a triangle. And about 20 small ones in the other eye, with one big one that stands out. I used to have GORGEOUS eyes. Now, I hate looking at people. I am so embarassed and ashamed that I actually paid to have this done. I wish I could go back to that day and just rip that consent paper in a million pieces and RUN! Every waking moment, I think of my eyes. It is a nightmare!

  • #2
    Your subject line sounds so much like me....welcome. I'm very sorry that you are here. I continue to be amazed at the refractive surgery world and the harm they inflict. I can't beleive they would think that MS was NOT a contra-indication

    Do you have dryness pain? Or are you mostly concerned with the red veins? I completely understand the appearance thing -- my eyes have responded to this terrible dryness with dark, dark circles. I hate it.

    Look around here and learn what others have been through, and know that we understand!!!!

    Comment


    • #3
      I know, I know. While we may not be able to relate to your symtoms there are so many of us here who relate to your feelings of anger and disbelief...how could I have let someone do this to me.

      Welcome to this site, and I hope it provides the same level of help and confort to you that it has provided for me.

      Bernadette

      Comment


      • #4
        Thank you for your kind words...

        Thank you for your kindness. It is really appreciated.

        I now know that I am not alone. What I still don't understand though is that there are many of us in this situation : can't we do something about it? I mean, our lives will NEVER be the same again, but how can we let them get away with this? Someone has ruined our life! I don't know about you, but I wasn't informed of all these complications. I knew there would be eye dryness (lasting from 3 to 6 months), I knew there might be light sensitivity (again, very temporary). If I had known my life could potentially be ruined, I would have ran. And my husband would've pushed me out that door so fast... instead of encouraging me to do it.

        Funny... my husband always says : if things would have been ok, it would have been the best thing you'd ever done, right? Of course!

        lboogie : I had verified with the MS clinic and was told that laser eye surgery was not an MS contra-indication. My neurologist had even suggested it.
        I do not have dryness pain (not anymore... I did in the early post-lasik months). The only symptom I do have is severe photophobia - light, especially white light (for example, when the sky is overcast) gives me the worst headaches - the pain goes down to my neck, making it stiff. I also have halos at night (the time on the microwave for example has a double halo...) and many floaters, so much that I sometimes mistake them for a bug or something moving towards me. It's like if a huge spiderweb was over my eye, moving as my eyes move around...
        I have no burning, no foreign body sensation, no grittyness... yey! I also have many eyelid muscle spasms... but I think these are caused be the squinting.

        What I am most concerned about are those dilated vessels/red veins. I seem to be getting more and I don't know what is causing them. I feel so ugly now. I hate looking in the eyes of people, and I am obssessed with people's scleras. When I wear my Tranquileyes for 30 min (which I do daily), the vessels are less visible, but they do come back about 1 hr later. I was told it was an autoimmune reaction. Then, I was told it might be ocular rosacea. Since Doxycycline did not work, I was told "Well, we don't know..." Gee, thks!

        I have suffered a great deal in all of this, and my family as well. My poor children have seen me cry so much. When the headaches get bad, I have no patience for them. They are now 3 and 18 months. My 3 yr old wants to wear my Tranquileyes goggles for Hallowe'en, he thinks they are pretty cool. And to think, one day I will have to explain to them that "mommy did such a stupid thing, and she "ruined" her life!" At least, I know this will NEVER happen to them... or to anyone else I know that is considering laser eye surgery.

        Do you think the Boston Scleral lenses would help me?

        How can I put a picture of my eyes here? Thanks!
        Last edited by dan_can; 05-Sep-2008, 17:38.

        Comment


        • #5
          well, the good news is that you don't have the dryness pain! It really sucks. I also have terrible floaters....that is maybe even worse than the nighttime starbursts. I agree -- I just don't know why they still allow this surgery. I would not have done it it was not available right?

          You can post some photos on your profile page.

          Comment


          • #6
            Photophobia

            With severe photophobia, Panoptx or WileyX will probably be your new best friend if you don't have them already. Sclerals can almost always help with severe photophobia assuming it is attributable to ocular surface problems.

            When your kids are old enough to have this explained to them, all they need to know is that you had unfortunate complications, please don't even dream of telling them you screwed up in some way. You didn't.

            My daughter was born a little over a year after my LASIK and if you talk to her you can easily tell she's drunk the dry eye kool-aid (so to speak). At her piano lesson today, her teacher was having trouble reading some music and mentioned he badly needs cataract surgery. She gave him a lecture about how careful he needs to be because some eye surgeries can cause dry eye.
            Rebecca Petris
            The Dry Eye Foundation
            dryeyefoundation.org
            800-484-0244

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Rebecca Petris View Post
              With severe photophobia, Panoptx or WileyX will probably be your new best friend if you don't have them already. Sclerals can almost always help with severe photophobia assuming it is attributable to ocular surface problems.
              the lenses, however, not being All that Dark, you might want to replace. NoIR sells 'blanks' that you can get inserted at any sort of lenscrafters type place.. if your photophobia is truly "SEVERE", then the upgrade from 'normal' 30% visible-light-transmission down to 1-2% visible-light-transmission that noir offers is a great difference.

              In any case, welcome to the forums.

              Comment


              • #8
                Hi

                I agree please do not feel this was your fault. The LASIK industry fully knows about these complications but for profit reasons fails to properly warn people about them. In my case i thought i had dryer than average eyes as with contacts I couldn't wear them for more than a few hours and told my surgeon. He convinced me that dry eye with contacts does not mean you have dry eye and that LASIK only temporary makes the eyes dryer. It is not enough to say it can cause dry eye, the pain i have is much more than just dry eye, i'm sure its from nerve damage as well. I don't remember them mentioning that.
                I now have 0 mm schmir in both eyes, eyes did not wet the paper or I have 2mm with tear plugs in. I went shopping today at the mall and within an hour my eyes were burning and felt like i'd been punched in both eyes. I have daily problems with a feeling like a peace of grit or eyelash in my eye that won't go away and regularly turns into a migrane, pain going to right neck. I see double vision 50% of time in my right dominant eye, see floaters that look like a 2 ft line, massive star bursts from car head lights, see two moons etc. I'm considered disabled for work so I can work in a non heated (cold) office as heat affects my eyes, along with the fans. I still feel like me but life is more bothersome. Even worse than the pain for me is the stress of having to explain all of this to people who have no idea what pain I go through and the fighting for disability rights at work. At least you do have children and a supportive husband, it will get easier as you learn to cope and your children will become more independant. But i sympathise i often think i could not cope with looking after a child when i get the pain as with today i had to lie down and sleep this afternoon to feel better. Hang in there, it will get better.
                C

                Comment


                • #9
                  Thank you everybody

                  Thanks again for all those kind words... please accept this gratitude as personnaly adressed.

                  Again, why can't we sue these people who have ruined our lives? If we were not well informed, shouldn't there be legal action we can take???
                  I have my file at home. In the questionnaire I filled before surgery, it is clearly circled "yes" to the question : do you suffer dry eye? Correct me if I'm wrong but the surgeon is supposed to do tests to assess the dryness, since this may lead to complications. I have read that, even mild, dry eye can become chronic after Lasik and cause complications in recovery. OBVIOUSLY, I did not know this before the surgery. And how can a "contract" be valid if you are fully or properly informed of everything???

                  Do any of you have an idea of what is causing the vessels in my eyes to dilate? I am producing enough tears, my Tear Break-up time is 5-10 sec., and I've been taking TheraTears Nutrition (Omega 3 + Flax seed oil) for about 8 months now. Plugs, Restasis, Doxycycline anti-biotics, Steroid drops... nothing has changed it.

                  I've heard of special lenses to help with photophobia (they are not scleral lenses, but something that lets less light penetrate or something) Has anyone ever heard of this?

                  Thank you all again! You guys rock!!!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by dan_can View Post
                    Thanks again for all those kind words... please accept this gratitude as personnaly adressed.

                    Again, why can't we sue these people who have ruined our lives? If we were not well informed, shouldn't there be legal action we can take???
                    I have my file at home. In the questionnaire I filled before surgery, it is clearly circled "yes" to the question : do you suffer dry eye? Correct me if I'm wrong but the surgeon is supposed to do tests to assess the dryness, since this may lead to complications. I have read that, even mild, dry eye can become chronic after Lasik and cause complications in recovery. OBVIOUSLY, I did not know this before the surgery. And how can a "contract" be valid if you are fully or properly informed of everything???

                    Do any of you have an idea of what is causing the vessels in my eyes to dilate? I am producing enough tears, my Tear Break-up time is 5-10 sec., and I've been taking TheraTears Nutrition (Omega 3 + Flax seed oil) for about 8 months now. Plugs, Restasis, Doxycycline anti-biotics, Steroid drops... nothing has changed it.

                    I've heard of special lenses to help with photophobia (they are not scleral lenses, but something that lets less light penetrate or something) Has anyone ever heard of this?

                    Thank you all again! You guys rock!!!
                    There are really two options, both of which are not compatible with dry eye for most people. Prosthetic contacts are probably what you're thinking of. By creating an artificial and fixed size pupil, they only allow a specific amount of light in. However, they are indeed contact lenses and will probably make your dry eye symptoms worse. Likewise, contacts can be custom-tinted to retain your pupil's normal ability to adapt to different lighting conditions, while still reducing the general level of light hitting your eyes.

                    I assume the latter option could easily be adapted with sclerals, but it wouldn't be nearly as subtle.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by dan_can View Post
                      Thank you for your kindness. It is really appreciated.

                      I now know that I am not alone. What I still don't understand though is that there are many of us in this situation : can't we do something about it? I mean, our lives will NEVER be the same again, but how can we let them get away with this? Someone has ruined our life! I don't know about you, but I wasn't informed of all these complications. I knew there would be eye dryness (lasting from 3 to 6 months), I knew there might be light sensitivity (again, very temporary). If I had known my life could potentially be ruined, I would have ran. And my husband would've pushed me out that door so fast... instead of encouraging me to do it.

                      Funny... my husband always says : if things would have been ok, it would have been the best thing you'd ever done, right? Of course!

                      lboogie : I had verified with the MS clinic and was told that laser eye surgery was not an MS contra-indication. My neurologist had even suggested it.
                      I do not have dryness pain (not anymore... I did in the early post-lasik months). The only symptom I do have is severe photophobia - light, especially white light (for example, when the sky is overcast) gives me the worst headaches - the pain goes down to my neck, making it stiff. I also have halos at night (the time on the microwave for example has a double halo...) and many floaters, so much that I sometimes mistake them for a bug or something moving towards me. It's like if a huge spiderweb was over my eye, moving as my eyes move around...
                      I have no burning, no foreign body sensation, no grittyness... yey! I also have many eyelid muscle spasms... but I think these are caused be the squinting.

                      What I am most concerned about are those dilated vessels/red veins. I seem to be getting more and I don't know what is causing them. I feel so ugly now. I hate looking in the eyes of people, and I am obssessed with people's scleras. When I wear my Tranquileyes for 30 min (which I do daily), the vessels are less visible, but they do come back about 1 hr later. I was told it was an autoimmune reaction. Then, I was told it might be ocular rosacea. Since Doxycycline did not work, I was told "Well, we don't know..." Gee, thks!

                      I have suffered a great deal in all of this, and my family as well. My poor children have seen me cry so much. When the headaches get bad, I have no patience for them. They are now 3 and 18 months. My 3 yr old wants to wear my Tranquileyes goggles for Hallowe'en, he thinks they are pretty cool. And to think, one day I will have to explain to them that "mommy did such a stupid thing, and she "ruined" her life!" At least, I know this will NEVER happen to them... or to anyone else I know that is considering laser eye surgery.

                      Do you think the Boston Scleral lenses would help me?

                      How can I put a picture of my eyes here? Thanks!
                      My lasersurgeun told me I was crazy, when i was sad about my eyes. Oh yes, I have the ugly things too, the red veins after lasersurgery...

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I think sclerals would help you, if you dont actually have much dry eye you will probably find them easier to wear. Also autogulous serum drops may help repair damage to the eye surface? not sure just a thought.
                        I healed my dry eye with nutrition and detoxification. I'm now a Nutritional Therapist at: www.nourishbalanceheal.com Join my dry eye facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/420821978111328/

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by sazy123 View Post
                          I think sclerals would help you, if you dont actually have much dry eye you will probably find them easier to wear. Also autogulous serum drops may help repair damage to the eye surface? not sure just a thought.
                          What is autogulaous serum drops? Do I have to see a doctor to get them?

                          Comment

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