Tips on feeling better

[DryLondoner]

How do I stop feeling so sad?

I've lost a stone, and I'm finding it really hard to leave my house. When I do my chest closes up and I start feeling anxious that my eyes will "get bad".

When I eat and drink (anything) my eyes get worse so it's silly but I've cut back on that too (which I know I shouldn't as getting dehydrated means drier eyes).

I have seen a counsellor and that hasn't helped much. My doctor has recommended anti-depressants, but I really don't want to go down that route.

I'm exercising indoors, which helps at times. But I'm so exhausted (in every way possible) after 11 months of dealing with this...and all I can think is that "I've ruined my life".

Any tips on what you've done to make yourself feel better? I know deep down things could be a lot worse but emotionally I'm finding this really hard to deal with. My brain won't switch off. I wake up feeling anxious and shaking and spend the rest of the day in my house thinking about how I use to be happy and carefree...I really need to get over this, but how?

[runnergirl]

HI DryLondoner,

Well, I have NEVER been depressed before. I am usually a very strong girl. However, when I was told 2 years ago by a doctor that there is no cure, I had my first panic attack and went into what I like to call a deep dumpster. I called in sick to work for a week so I could just stay home and cry. I have a job, kids, husband. I have alot to do. I am in charge of alot. This was a big wall in my life. I locked myself in my room and did not come out. I thought my life was over. I did not eat and lost 10 pounds in 2 weeks. Then my sister came over and took my out to my boat dock and sat with me for about 8 hours. reading scripture to me, reminding me that God will help me, he may not cure me, but he wil hlep me with strength. I kept telling her but this and but that. I kept bringing up down down down stuff.....like this is forever. My eyes hurt, you dont understnd, I cant see, I also have blepharospasm now because of the dry eye so my eye lids close at will. oh whoa is me is what I kept coming back to her with. After days of praying and her positive words, I began to discover that I am in charge, not my eyes. I woke up and decided that I was not going to let this run my life. There are books out there of people that have been in accidents and are all of a sudden blind, they still do everything with a positive attitude. It is what it is. So I decided to start with reading the Triumph section only on this wed site. Instead of seeking a "cure" I have decided to learn to manage it. In the Triumph section, these are people that have learned how to successfully manage it to a point where they dont even think about their eyes anymore. I have decided that it will be me someday. Some of these people find this after 2 years, some after 10 years.....either way, It will be me one day. so now I just go with life day by day. I no longer look far into the future and decide things in my head that just are not true. God will help me manage each day. Yesterday I had a bad eye day, I walked into people at work, I walked into a door, my desk is encased with windows, I was squinting all day. I wanted to go home and cry. But I dont allow myself to do that anymore. I instead, went home made dinner, spent time with my famly and put warm compresses on my eyes, but my restaisis in and went to bed and asleep by 9. Today is much more manageable. It is day by day. Do not let bad thoughts of why this happened or what will happen in the future clog your mind. It is easy to jump in the dumpster, but better to not allow yourself to go there. Decide instead to be positive and thankful that you do not have other things that people have. Decide that you will take charge of your life and work out, eat right, drink water, use warm compresses go to sleep early and slow down on a bad eye day. Keep praying for strength, God will help you. Instead of getting down on yourself , get mad at your eyes and tell them you are in charge not them. I refuse to think that this will manage me, I will try everything on the triumph list and one day I will be on there, you will too. Control your own thoughts and continue to just think positively. It helped me to read positive books. I have read a few books about people with no arms and legs, people with only one eye, people with no sight at all and they are positive and move forward as they can with life. If they can do it, so can we. hope this helps! Remember, just day by day, you can do this, and then you can help others. sue

[DryLondoner]

Runnergirl - thank you.

Every time I feel like I have had enough and that I don't want to do this anymore I will come here and read what you wrote. Thank you for taking the time to share your experience. I hope tomorrow is a good day for you.

x

[Rebecca Petris]

DryLondoner:

I'm sorry.

Severe situational depression seems to hit most people who go through a prolonged cycle of this stuff. Lot of factors conspire to produce this effect, and LASIK dry eye depression is one of the worst 'varieties' around because of special factors unique to the 'psychology' of elective surgery complications. I respect your decisions but at the same time would encourage you not to entirely slam the door on anti-depressants given the length of time you have been struggling with this.

Anything that helps you keep your focus, like Runnergirl's wonderful post, print it out and place copies where you can get at them whenever you need a reminder

Also have a glance at: http://www.dryeyezone.com/talk/showt...ark-dark-place

[runnergirl]

You are so welcome. We have all been there and continue to fight going there each day like yourself. now, lets just see if I can manage to not run off the sidewalk today while running....that alone is a great day for me! hahaha God Bless You!

[tealeaf]

Hi Runnergirl,
Thank you for your wonderful post. Your story reminds me of myself. I have always been a cheerful and bubbly person until this post lasik dry eyes hit me. Last December, I went into a panic attack and burst out crying in office when I thought my life was over. I have 3 young children, husband and a job too. I was given a week off work by psychiatrist. I kept blaming myself for causing this problem upon myself. I kept thinking life is not going to be the same for me anymore. No longer could I take the plane with my kids for vacation, no longer could I read to them, etc. My mum had to stay over night at my place to take care of the kids as I was too depressed then.

I thank God for being with me throughout this period. I started to listen to bible (instead of reading) and on-line sermons. I read and learned from this forum (Shells, Iboogie, Lasiklady, etc) that the lasik is indeed not my fault. I started to let go of this guilt. I didn’t intend for this to happen.

My husband took over the role of reading story books to my children and it turned out to be better than expected. These dry eyes also help me let go and outcome turns out to be just as good. I do not have to hold on to the many duties I was doing.

I am also living one day at a time. I do not know what tomorrow will bring. I am contented as long as I can live each day to see my kids grow and my family together. At times, I do feel sad and discouraged when I think of the past. I will then start looking through those quotes I kept in my phone to encourage myself. The current one is from Christine Caine “We Cannot Change THE PAST, But The Choices We Made Today Can Change THE FUTURE” so, I am determined to seek various treatment that can help me get better. And yes, one day, I will have a post in Triumph section.

Hi Drylondoner,
I am sorry to hear what you are doing now. I agree with Rebecca that you do not close door totally on anti-depressant. I was very reluctant to take back then, but I know the medicine is only going to be temporary; to tie me over this tough period. I will not need them forever as my eyes will feel better with time when I continue to seek treatment.

I suppose you are feeling more nervous as you are going to KL soon and entering into unchartered waters. I print screen those encouraging and success stories from this forum and look at them during times when I needed them. I believe they will help you too.

I have a close friend who has serious lupus problem, being rape and went through abortion, thereafter divorce and now detected with lump in her brain. She is alwys happy and cheerful and busy with her 2 daughters. She told me she doesn’t see the reason for living miserably daily especially when she has gone through so much. Her words keep ringing in my brain. Yes, I am still living with this dry eyes issue, but I do not want to waste my days away. I want to do and learn something meaningful while living in the “valley”, so that when I move on to the “mountain top” next time (don’t know when BUT I know will definitely come, as all these in lives are temporary) , I will be thankful for the days in the “valley”.

Friend, you are not alone in this journey. Today, I provide an encouragement, I may need yours tomorrow. I am sure what we have experienced and learnt will be able to help someone next time.

Keeping you in my prayers

[DryLondoner]

Thank you all for you kind words of encouragement.

Rebecca, I am going to throw everything I can at it for a few more weeks and then will consider anti-depressants.

TeaLeaf, I have resigned from my current job, and am making preparations for KL. I am nervous and unsure, but I am going to give it a go. I hope you are doing a little better. I read that your last opth. visit didn't go too well. Would you consider seeing someone else for a second opinion? I know it is expensive, but it may be worth doing.

Hope you are all having a good day!

x

[runnergirl]

Hi Tealeaf,

Boy, you do sound just like me...hhahaha, so cute. anyway, I am glad to hear your upbeat story too. It just makes sense to do what you can and put junk behind you. fight it everyday. I pray everyday for God to give me strength for the day ahead and end everyday with a thank you for my day. As long as we keep plugging away everyday, trying new things in hopes that they will work, i just know that one day we too will be on the triumph list. In box me anytime you want and God bless you everyday as always!
Sue


Sue

[dominorose]

Runnergirl,

I love your post. Its really hard for all of us. I think Im gonna read the Triumph section only now.
But thank you.

[runnergirl]

My pleasure dominorose,

It is really hard, that is why it is important to stay positive. Negative thought do nothing. I will continue to pray for everyone on this site and one day we will ALL be in the triumph section! one by one. Take care- stay strong and God Bless to you!

[tealeaf]

Hi Drylondoner,
Yes, definitely you will be nervous and unsure going to a new place and especially now this dry eye issue is not settled. I think you are a brave lady, wish you all the very best in your new job and venture. Come to this forum to air anytime.

Despite the cost, I have booked an appointment with another opth. I really need to do something about my eyes. I am confused, should I go for a permanent silicon plug? How long can the plug stay in the eyes?

Hi Runnergirl,
Yes, it is really hard for all of us. At times and many times back then, I would ask God "Why Me?" So many people had done lasik and why it has to be me to go through this. Nowadays, I am learning not to think too much into this as it will not help me at all, just make me depressed.
By the way, are you using eye plugs? Mine is the temporary dissolvable plugs for lower ducts which have marginal help to my eyes. My opth. seems reluctant to put in permanent silicone ones, claiming the tip may break whe pull out. I have a feeling he may not be so experience. He is suggesting sclera lens. I am confused. Is he trying to earn $ or is he really helping me? I do not want to go to him every 2 to 6 months to put in temprary plugs and expanding my punctum.

Need some advise from dear friends here. Rather confused now.

[runnergirl]

Hi Tealeaf,

I had plugs about 2 years ago....I dont think they were the dissolving kind, however, a year later a new doctor that I went to informed me that they were not there and must have fallen out. When they were placed, they felt awkward in my eyes and I did not notice a difference at all. However, there are plenty of people on this sight that claim that it is what saved them. I told him not to bother putting them back in because I never even noticed when they fell out. I am at a stage where I am kinda ready to try it again. My doctor told me that he is going to take it one step at a time to help manage my eyes. He says he has a big bag of tricks to help and doesnt want to throw them all at me at once. Just try each thing until we find something that works. I visit him in about 2 weeks. I do not know anything about the sclera lens, but I am sure you could probably look around on this site or google it and find reviews about it. We have to try everything and give them a chance to work, who knows, one of them may be our "golden ticket" right? Let us know what you decide and how it feels? by the way, my dry eyes are from a bad decision of having Lasik as well. I am fully healthy in every way except my eyes. I too went through "why did I do this?" back in 2006 my husband said, "we have some extra money, you can go get your chest done (had to pick a good choice of words) or get your eyes done which ever you want" well.....I should have gone with the other! so now I am double-regretful if you know what I mean! hahaha. geeeeez.

[tealeaf]

Hi DryLonder,
How are you feeling recently? Hope you are doing better.
Friday was a bad eye day for me, yesterday was better. From the experience of dry eye patients in this forum, we will have more good days than bad days in time to come.

Hi runnergirl,
I am like you, healthy in all aspects except for this pair of irritating dry eyes. Yes, you are right, I am going to try everything and hopefully the permanent silicone plugs will help me feel better. Am waiting for the temporary ones to dissolve before getting the permanent pair.
By the way, do you travel via plane recent years with dry eyes? How do you manage in the plane?

[DryLondoner]

Hi TeaLeaf,

Sorry to hear you are having a tough few days. It's hard when it's so inconsistent and you don't understand why something which works one day doesn't work another day.

I've been having a really tough few day too. It's weird because my eyes are feeling better today, but they look awful. Very red and bloodshot, which I find so hard. The nights and mornings are the the worst.

Hope you have family and people around you who understand. My family don't think it's a big deal and I don't think my friends really get it.

I pray for better days.

[runnergirl]

Hi Tealeaf,

No, I have not traveled by plane since I got this 2 years ago. I live in Florida, so if I need a vacation, I just travel to the ocean and my husband drives. However, If and when I do travel by plane, I would not go alone and I would probably sleep the whole time if my eyes were bothering me. Or where the goggles.