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dry eye triumph then come back

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  • dry eye triumph then come back

    This is my first post on the forum. Excuse me, I do not speak very well English (I'm a 29 years old French boy).

    I started having eyes problems the day after my 27th birthday in January 2010. Everything was great in my life, I was very happy. I felt happiness inside of my body (I'm not sure how to describe that feeling, those who have already been very happy should understand). It was unusual for me because I was very unhappy and disrupted by health problems throughout my childhood and personal problems too.
    The day of my 27th birthday I told my girlfriend that I felt great, but it should not last, because I'm used that everything is going wrong cyclically. The next day I started having eyes problems, I learned later that it was MGD.

    For my girlfriend (now she is my wife) and my family, the diagnosis was clear: psychosomatic. But I had my eyes very painful so I looked for a more rational explanation for me. I do not believe in coincidences. First, I blamed the drug I was taking for 3 months in order to stop losing hair (propecia finasteride), I stopped immediately without success. I went to an allergist (negative results) and so many different ophthalmologists. Finally, I have consulted in the best eyes hospital in France. The diagnosis was never very clear. Maybe ocular rosacea combined with an allergy ... Well, I was lost.

    During this period, my eyes was very painful every day without exception, except when I was on holiday in a French region which is under tropic during the summer of 2010. My wife thought that I had no trouble because I was well in my head there. I thought that it was because of the very high humidity.

    Back from holiday, my eyes started to be painful again. I resigned to consult a psychiatrist in February 2011 which gave me antidepressants. I was afraid, because I have read that this kind of drug may cause dry eyes. I decided to totally "throwing in the towel" (?), not to look every time at my eyes, nor the hygrometer, trying to not thinking about it all the time. Gradually, I was much better. I can not remember the exact date, but late July 2011, I remember not having pain! I could spend more than 12 hours on the PC, spend hours in air-conditioned places, as before! I was back to normal! No more pain! No eye drop!

    In late July 2011 to end February 2012, I didn't felt any pain, or very minimal and very infrequent. Late February, I told my psychiatrist that today I felt this feeling of happiness in my body. He told me I could stop the antidepressants and I stopped while I was afraid that the pain comes back. Three days after my wife's grandmother died of the same disease that killed my mother. Since that day my eyes are very painful as before, although I have taken antidepressants again.

    For everyone around me, it's psychosomatic. But I have difficulties to believe that too anyway ...

    I'm very depressed but now I know that my eyes can be OK for long time. I have hope.

    I wonder if ocular rosacea or other disease such as Sjogren can quit for long time (for example with antidepressants) and come back? (for example in case of strong emotion)

    Thank you very much for reading. I hope you understand my English.

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