Hitting a low period, need some veteran advice

[Margaret]

Hello there,

I'm post lasik 7 months. What do I know:
1. MGD seems to be getting worse. Started out as mild, now docs seem to agree I have MGD.
2. TBUT scores vary between 4-6, so tear film is low obviously.
3. Emotionally having a very hard time.
4. Physically having a harder time.

I squint all the time. I wear goggles all the time. I can't drive much. Have had a week or two here and there where I can drive. Can't use computer except to post on dry eye zone, which is not often! Can't work. Tried to in the beginning but can't now. Can't read much. Look down most of the time. My right eye is much worse than left in terms of pain. Last night I had one of the worst eye pain days yet. It just puts me in bed basically on pain killers to get through it. Have no idea what causes it, just happens. My eye doc just told me recently to rest my eyes as much as possible. I am on anti depressants and anti anxiety, seeing counselors, hypnotism, etc. I have been working very hard to fill my emotional bucket so to speak, but my physical bucket just kicks me constantly. There have been days where it has been physically better, but not many. I have young children and we were a busy, productive family. That has obviously changed in many ways. I have a great support system, but it's hard on all of us to have so much stress for so long and knowing that this will not be a quick fix. I am thankful for those of you (I don't know if you want me to say your names publicly but you know who you are) that are calling me and writing me, but I thought I'd post out to the entire network (give you others a break )
Can someone with Lasik tell me that you had severe symptoms as well (I guess don't we all or we wouldn't be here) and got better, even a little bit over time?
How well can you function now?
I am just hoping that 2 years from now I can say "I still have dry eye but I can drive, read a book, watch a movie (ok, maybe not all on the same day), watch my kids school events, travel without so much fear, look forward to the future, can plan things in advance without worrying about being in so much pain I can't function, not worry I'm going to lose my eye, I'm again ok with the world"
What advice do you have for "newbies" like me?

Thanks in advance for any suggestions and support. I really appreciate it and cannot wait for the day when I can spend more time on the computer years from now giving advice to help the other newbies through this horrible time.

Margaret

[Rebecca Petris]

I am trying not to post here because I'm sure I've already bent your ear enough but I just want to send you a big hug:

(((((((Margaret))))))

Hopefully lots of 2+year lasik veterans who have dry eye that has graduated from life-consuming to simply a nuisance (I know there are a LOT of you out there, somewhere) will wander by eventually.

[DG65]

You may not have helped out any newbies, yet, but you sure have helped me out many times!

My DE was life consuming for several months but I am nowhere near what I was 10 months post-Lasik.

Hugs from Iowa, too!

[Guest]

Since I've already written you waaaaay too long replies to your PM's, I won't write it all again here...

But just wanted to send some virtual hugs your way... it'll get better... you'll see!

[Margaret]

Thanks guys. I was feeling physically better for 9 whole days (not that I count, right) and then things went badly for me and sent me back to where I was in the beginning of this whole mess so the work I had done to get myself mentally stronger went awry as well. Of course this is during one of the busiest times of the year for family, etc. so the timing was really great for me
Thanks for all of your thoughts. You guys are my support system and I realize I rely on you greatly and it's very one sided. Someday I hope I can be more support to all of you!
Margaret

[irish eyes]

...... I was feeling physically better for 9 whole days (not that I count, right) and then things went badly for me and sent me back to where I was in the beginning of this whole mess so the work I had done to get myself mentally stronger went awry as well................

Hi Margaret

My problems are not due to Lasik but your words certainly resonate. I used to count the `good days' too - well I suppose I still do if I'm honest.

I'm literally on Cloud Nine when I'm able to function almost normally - but it seems so cruel when the discomfort returns. I managed to read a few chapters of a book last week; my face didn't feel knotted in anxiety like it usually did - boy was this bliss!

Like the others - I'm sending you a few more virtual hugs. You can't have too many.

[Cindy]

Hi Margaret,

I am a post-LASIK dry eye sufferer. My LASIK was a long time ago: 5/01. I had a really rotten time post-op for a few years primarily due to recurrent corneal erosions and miserable dry eye. Somewhere along the way, because of (in spite of?) all of my efforts to help myself, my body took over and dulled my discomfort. As far as my body knew, it had to adapt to a 'new normal' - some low level chronic discomfort and the occasional bout with severe pain.

Almost 10 years later, I'm doing well. I work in my school district as director of the before and after-school daycare at an elementary school, enjoy my summers at our cottage on the boat, make a few long distance car drives to my folks' home/yr and travel by plane whenever we need to for vacations or what have you.

My eyes are still dry but manageable. Some days - when I am in a lot of discomfort - I am reminded of how far I've come. I used to live in pain every day. Now, it's only once in awhile and I just put up with it so that I can do what I want.

My best to you in the New Year. ~Cindy

[Margaret]

That's exactly what I like to hear. Thanks so much Cindy. Today I had a manageable day and it was nice to have! Still can't watch a movie or use the computer but was outside and pain was low. NICE!

It's easier to "do the time" when I think that it will get better.

Thanks again, I can't tell you how much I appreciate your story. It is really helpful to those of us that are so new to the process.

Margaret

[shells]

Hi Margaret,

I don't make it on the boards much these days, but I saw your post and just had to respond. I made several posts just like yours my first couple years after lasik just looking for some sort of hope. I had lasik in both eyes back in June of 2005. I also had one eye that was worse than the other, and suffered with pain often and terrible anxiety and depression as well, so I know how frustrated you are right now, but I can tell you that things will get better!!!! I also had alot of fluctuations with my eyes, but don't get discouraged, eventually you will have more good times than bad, it just takes time.

My eyes are still dry, but over the years I have found treatments that work better for me and have learned to manage my eyes better. I don't have pain nearly as often as I used to, and when I do it is easier to deal with and I generally just get on with my life and try to ignore it the best I can. My eyes are in MUCH better shape though so luckily I don't have to deal with it often. I can honestly say that 2010 was my best eye year yet since I had lasik back in 2005. I can also say that in my journey over the years I have talked to many people who were in the same place as you are right now that have gone on to feel so much better, even completely better with no symptoms at all, so there is so much hope for you.

I definitely have my life back, and that is something that I didn't think was possible when I was going through that initial dark period the first couple years after lasik. So many people on this board helped me through that time, and I don't know what I would have done without them. I can't tell you how many phone calls, privates messages, and emails kept me going. Please feel free to send me an email anytime you need to talk. Hang in there, things will get easier and you will get your life back!!!

-Shelley