The last 3-4 months have completely changed every aspect of my life and I am not dealing well at all. I cry several times a day because I am depressed and can't seem to get a hold of myself. I have been comforted by many friends and family members but at this point I think they are all sick of the person that I've become. My mother even told me today on the phone that I need to figure out a way to stop constantly crying because no one wants to be around me this way. I've contemplated suicide many times and I've spoken with people about it who think I need to see a psychiatrist. I don't want to see a psychiatrist, because really..is he going to help my eyes? I don't need or want to be numbed.
My boyfriend has become very distant towards me and told me that he feels I am taking away his identity because he hardly hangs out with his friends or does things that he loves anymore because he is constantly dealing with me and my depression. Things aren't the same between us anymore and I am hurt feeling like I am sabotaging everything because of this disease. I am currently about to lose my apartment because I haven't been able to pay due to losing my job when this all started. I will lose my dog and cat that I've had for years because I have nowhere to keep them until I figure out what I am going to do. I have to put my stuff in storage and stay with my brother who is short tempered which I know will be problematic. I just don't understand how these tiny glands in my eyes ruined my pretty happy life. I really feel like I can't handle it anymore and am losing every bit of myself.
My heart is broken. =(
My boyfriend has become very distant towards me and told me that he feels I am taking away his identity because he hardly hangs out with his friends or does things that he loves anymore because he is constantly dealing with me and my depression. Things aren't the same between us anymore and I am hurt feeling like I am sabotaging everything because of this disease. I am currently about to lose my apartment because I haven't been able to pay due to losing my job when this all started. I will lose my dog and cat that I've had for years because I have nowhere to keep them until I figure out what I am going to do. I have to put my stuff in storage and stay with my brother who is short tempered which I know will be problematic. I just don't understand how these tiny glands in my eyes ruined my pretty happy life. I really feel like I can't handle it anymore and am losing every bit of myself.
My heart is broken. =(
Comment