Having MAJOR anxiety and worries over starting school.

[vivian3090]

Hey guys,

So I start school next Wednesday up at the University in town. I had a nice 3 months off (with an internet course thrown in the middle) but I am just so worried about how this will affect the progress (if any) and healing of my eyes.

This week I have been working doubles. A few hours in the morning and my main shift and night. My eyes were doing ok in the mornings up until this morning, they are feeling very dry and are red. They usualy don't get red until maybe after 5pm or so. I'm just wondering maybe my eyes are getting over worked, I also haven't been getting a full night's rest.

Im worried because this is practically what it wil be like for me once I start school. School in the morning and work in the early afternoon/evening. I'm worried about what this will do to my healing eyes.

I also just have a lot of anxiety about actually going to class, dealing with the AC, dealing with the wind walking around campus and the stares I will get for putting drops in constantly.

Just need some words of encouragment and advice. :/

[Anthony16]

Hey Vivian,
I start training to become a veterinarian this september so share the same anxietes as u.Iv invested in some custom MCs for the air con in the buildings.I totally understand what u mean by the stares.I was a bit of a heartthrob in high school but i guess its a case of either using drops/wearing MCs to help myself get a good qualification and make a lot of money or let vanity make me somebody who must work a minimum wage job.I dont really care what people think anymore.There are much worse things going on in the world(children starving,kids with leukaemia,murders).If somebody has a problem with something as simple as eye drops well,then its their issue not ours.
Good luck with your exams

Hey guys,

So I start school next Wednesday up at the University in town. I had a nice 3 months off (with an internet course thrown in the middle) but I am just so worried about how this will affect the progress (if any) and healing of my eyes.

This week I have been working doubles. A few hours in the morning and my main shift and night. My eyes were doing ok in the mornings up until this morning, they are feeling very dry and are red. They usualy don't get red until maybe after 5pm or so. I'm just wondering maybe my eyes are getting over worked, I also haven't been getting a full night's rest.

Im worried because this is practically what it wil be like for me once I start school. School in the morning and work in the early afternoon/evening. I'm worried about what this will do to my healing eyes.

I also just have a lot of anxiety about actually going to class, dealing with the AC, dealing with the wind walking around campus and the stares I will get for putting drops in constantly.

Just need some words of encouragment and advice. :/

[ishkane]

I'm in the same boat as you. I've been taking courses on a part-time basis since I was first diagnosed with my MGD bc working on the computer was so so hard. This is the first time in two years I'll be back to taking full time classes, so I'm also totally anxious over what's going to happen, especially when the weather turns.

In terms of putting drops in your eyes while on campus - I know it's probably hard to believe, but really, no one will care, and if they notice or comment, you could just say you have allergies. A ton of people deal with that, so it might be a way to explain away the need to lubricate without having to explain about glands and tear production, etc. For working on the computer, the only thing that's helped me is to use moisture chamber glasses. I just made a DIY version with the dustbuster glasses that are sold here... sort of a modification of this tutorial: http://www.dryeyezone.com/talk/showthread.php?5839-Make-your-very-own-glasses-poor-person-style&highlight=poor+people+glasses . I've actually worn the dustbusters to class - yes, it did garner strange looks, but it helped so... I think I'm going to start taking them to class with me and putting them on when we watch videos, etc. That way, I'll be calling less attention to myself.

I'm guessing AC is your university's accessibility services... My advice would be to use them to your full advantage. That's one of the mistakes I made early on. I thought I could handle it all on my own and ended up so behind and so stressed out because my eyes wouldn't let me complete the work I needed to do. This time around, I've contacted them early, will have a note-taker, have let all my profs know ahead of time. Stuff like that makes a big difference, or so it seems.

Oh and I'm finding figuring out a good sleeping routine (not just in terms of how many hours you get, but also how to protect your eyes. it's something still haven't mastered) is (at least for me) the key to having a good day while awake.

[jax8it]

Hi Vivian,

I am not a student, but a teacher returning to school. These first weeks have been rough, but I made it through. You will too. I found a optician in Dallas that made me custom moisture chambers from regular glasses. It was his first time and he did a pretty good job. His name is JD Massengale. He works at Plaza Vision Center at the Plaza of America in downtown Dallas. I also see he doctor there. He is knowledgable in post LASIK dry eye. I hope you have a good year. Remember you are stronger than you think you are. I have learned that this week. And like ishkane said people really will not pay attention to your drops. Best of luck

[Tankie]

I have a few things to say on this topic since just a few years ago I went to university wearing swimming goggles everywhere I went. It was very embarrassing at first, but I learned to stop caring about what other people thought. Believe it or not, as ridiculous as I looked, I actually made a few friends who I still see today. I even went out to the pub a bunch of times, got invited to a few parties, etc. It was very embarrassing, yes, but people still didn't mind associating with me because I was/am a nice person behind it all, and have a sociable personality. The people in my cohort even through me a birthday party for my 24th, which was very special to me, because they had accepted me despite my appearance! It was a very fun night

Having said that, thank goodness today I have passed that stage of my life and no longer wear goggles! Thank goodness for surgery! I wore the goggles for 8 months though, everywhere I went, and it was very very embarrassing, but I got through it. And for the record, this is not one of those things where it's easier for a guy than for a girl cuz it's not. Wearing goggles, it doesn't matter who you are, it's going to make people think twice before approaching you, and you're going to get some stares, but as long as you're nice, people are a lot more accepting than you may imagine.

Now what can you do? Perhaps you should buy some really nice sunglasses, and wear them all the time. For example, these: http://www.aliexpress.com/product-fm...olesalers.html or these: http://www.aliexpress.com/product-fm...olesalers.html

I'd recommend something with dark lenses, so you could close/rest your eyes whenever you want without drawing attention to yourself. If your eyes are giving you problems, sit near the back of the classroom where not many people will see you and just close your eyes and listen. The teacher him/her self probably won't even notice that you're "sleeping" haha, especially if you have sunglasses on cuz they are trying to teach a room full of 30 to 100 students.

Now I'm not advocating for you telling lies, but you could simply tell people that you have some problems with your eyes and for the next "X" amount of time, you need to wear them until you heal. If you said this to people, no one would question you, no one would give you a hard time, and no one would think you were weird. Believe me, people are not out to get you, people are not going to try and bring you down, and people will still accept you as long as you are a nice person. No one is ever going to walk up to you and try and huliliate you, and no one is going to be chatting behind your back saying things like "What's with that weird girl". People are simply not like that, at least not at this age. If you were 15 in high school, maybe there are some jerks there, but not now that you're an adult, believe me.

And Vivian, just in case you don't believe me, consider this:
- Imagine you were healthy
- Imagine you went to class on day 1
- Imagine you saw another girl wearing sunglasses on a cloudy day
- What thoughts are going through your mind? Are you going to turn and point and laugh at her? Or would you just think to yourself, "hmm, that's interesting" and then go about your day without thinking about it any more.

You see? People are not going to do anything to you lol You'll be fine.

[Guest]

Awesome post Tankie! Vivian, listen to this guy - he is totally right on about this!

[Anthony16]

Hey Tankie,
Just wondering would u sit in certain areas of the class room if u had to wear swim goggles?Like,would u sit in the back corner so less people saw u?Man,it must be incredibly liberating to no longer care what people think.
Well done

[Tankie]

I didn't actually, no. The thing is is that I got to know pretty much everyone in my classes fairly well, some of them really well, like I knew every single person's name and everybody knew me, and everyone knew what was going on with my eyes, so I'd just sit with whoever each day, usually the same 4 people, but on occasion I'd be late or they would be late and so I'd be with someone a little less familiar.

Thanks for the support. I will admit I am very glad this is a thing of the past for me at this point, but nevertheless, I would encourage anyone who has to go through it to not panic, because people are generally very nice, caring, and supportive once you get to know them and they see that you're not a weirdo, but merely just have an eye problem.

The only exception I would make to this, is if you have to been around children or teenagers. Adults will never treat you horribly. Children/teenagers... well that is definitely a much tougher situation because they can definitely be cruel, but even with them, you just need to be tough, show them that you are a great person, and in the end you will earn their respect and they will treat you accordingly. And even if they do say something, even if they do laugh at you, what you need to do is you need to talk to that child/teenager, tell them what's up, you don't get mad at them, you don't discipline, you just talk to them, and by doing so you will earn their respect, you will show them that you're a real person with real feelings and emotions, and they will respect that and bother you no longer.

[Tankie]

One last thing I'd just like to add, and I hope this doesn't offend anyone, but whenever you see someone who obviously has some sort of disability, generally speaking most people have one of two reactions:
A) They stay completely clear of them
B) They have sympathy and wish to talk to them to help them feel loved and a sense of belonging

It's extremely rare (at least with adults) to have a reaction of wanting to ridicule or make fun of that person, or do anything in any way to harm them.


Now... I understand that people with dry eyes might fear reaction "A" (where people avoid you), and I can't lie, I'm not a perfect person, and I have this reaction with certain people myself. However, wearing goggles or sunglasses is not something that would make me have a reaction "A" type of reaction. It would have to be something a bit more severe than that. Wearing goggles really isn't a "stay clear of this person" type of disability if you know what I mean.

I hope no one finds this offensive, it wasn't my intention to offend.

[ishkane]

Just to reiterate what Tankie said - people are generally nice, compassionate, and sometimes even empathetic. Adding to that, I find people in university to be much more accepting/open minded about things, than those in high school. And more often than not, we're caring way more about how we look than others do. We sometimes forget about that. Last semester, I was telling the person I was sitting with in class, my eyes are so red, i bet everyone is staring at me . She replied with, Ena, it's 8 am, have you looked around?? *everyone's* eyes are red!

[vivian3090]

I am at work right now (but I am reading all your posts, will respond when i get off work!) :P

[vivian3090]

There are much worse things going on in the world(children starving,kids with leukaemia,murders).If somebody has a problem with something as simple as eye drops well,then its their issue not ours.
Good luck with your exams

You are right, there really are much more worse things, but there are days I can't help but think "I am jealous of other people who can just walk around and not have a care in the world with their eyes" I am 22 and I still have my life ahead of me...I have school to get through, get a full time job, get married, start a family....I want to do all those things without having pain/redness/ and dryness. Which is why I feel like my steriod drops that I have been using every once in awhile has been my saving grace....I feel that once I have settled down in my life, it won't matter b/c I will be at where I want to be and happy and content....for now though, I am being vain and want to look good and have a somewhat enjoyable life till then.

I'm guessing AC is your university's accessibility services...

Oh and I'm finding figuring out a good sleeping routine (not just in terms of how many hours you get, but also how to protect your eyes. it's something still haven't mastered) is (at least for me) the key to having a good day while awake.

AC is actually my school Air Conditioning :P but I probably will let my teachers in on what I am going through; all of the teachers I have had at my UNT stay have been so nice and kind. YES the past few weeks I've been making sure to get a good amount of sleep and that has helped; it's just this week has been crazy with my double schedule, which is why I am worried about school along with my work schedule.

I am not a student, but a teacher returning to school. These first weeks have been rough, but I made it through. You will too. I found a optician in Dallas that made me custom moisture chambers from regular glasses. It was his first time and he did a pretty good job. His name is JD Massengale. He works at Plaza Vision Center at the Plaza of America in downtown Dallas. I also see he doctor there. He is knowledgable in post LASIK dry eye. I hope you have a good year. Remember you are stronger than you think you are.

I will look into him, There is also a place around Corinth, TX (near Denton) that says they specialize in dry eye moisture chambers goggles and dry eyes. Since it is close I will look into it and get back to you!

And Vivian, just in case you don't believe me, consider this:
- Imagine you were healthy
- Imagine you went to class on day 1
- Imagine you saw another girl wearing sunglasses on a cloudy day
- What thoughts are going through your mind? Are you going to turn and point and laugh at her? Or would you just think to yourself, "hmm, that's interesting" and then go about your day without thinking about it any more.

You'll be fine.

Thank you Tankie for the response, it certainly makes me feel better to know people HAVE gotten through school and have made friends. Although, the social aspect is a reason, I was wondering if you all had trouble with reading/studying?? I am the type to read my book over and over and I also am taking an internet class (anyone have a good app that reminds you to blink or take a break from staring at screen??

Thanks for all the responses; they are very appreciated.