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I was nosing around on the internet - something I should know better than to do - and I visited the SurgicalEyes board where so many have relayed their problems and their hopes for solutions. I read with deep-seated horror the story of one woman who, due to refractive surgery, cannot make out the faces of her own cats anymore. I literally wanted to lay down in my cubicle and just die from shame. Here I am complaining about my dry eyes when someone cannot even identify her own housemates?
Furthermore, my mother has retinitis pigmentosa, some of you may know what this is. Her eyes are comfortable but she basically has tunnel vision only - no peripheral - and at last check, an 11% field of vision. To think I have complained to her about my eye situation when she can barely function in a normal society is beyond comprehension and it is a pattern that I must break. Always understanding and seeing the silver lining, she urges me to do the same yet admittedly within the limits of my own weaknesses I have not tried to do,
I have posted in the Triumphs section before after growing leaps and bounds and I believe wholeheartedly in my postings. But every time I remember the LASIK decision I am "rehaunted" in a way that rattles me to my very core.
So today I am throwing in the towel on the guilt. I am throwing in the towel on the constant, all-consuming thoughts of dry eye. How can I expect to get better physically when mentally I am battling a big, black ball of hate that grows inside of my chest?
I hope if anyone else out there is suffering with the same negative, reactive thoughts that they can read something, anything, like I read today that will strike a chord within them. I aim to not beat myself up over my decision to have LASIK and to not feel down about my condition when there are others out there who, for whatever reason, have lost more than the comfort of their eyes.
Furthermore, my mother has retinitis pigmentosa, some of you may know what this is. Her eyes are comfortable but she basically has tunnel vision only - no peripheral - and at last check, an 11% field of vision. To think I have complained to her about my eye situation when she can barely function in a normal society is beyond comprehension and it is a pattern that I must break. Always understanding and seeing the silver lining, she urges me to do the same yet admittedly within the limits of my own weaknesses I have not tried to do,
I have posted in the Triumphs section before after growing leaps and bounds and I believe wholeheartedly in my postings. But every time I remember the LASIK decision I am "rehaunted" in a way that rattles me to my very core.
So today I am throwing in the towel on the guilt. I am throwing in the towel on the constant, all-consuming thoughts of dry eye. How can I expect to get better physically when mentally I am battling a big, black ball of hate that grows inside of my chest?
I hope if anyone else out there is suffering with the same negative, reactive thoughts that they can read something, anything, like I read today that will strike a chord within them. I aim to not beat myself up over my decision to have LASIK and to not feel down about my condition when there are others out there who, for whatever reason, have lost more than the comfort of their eyes.
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