What keeps me going ...

[tommyboy]

I am 5 and 1/2 months post LASIK ... some days I think I am on the mend. The onion goggles seem to help, but not all the time. Just about every day, I am in pain ... either physically (burning) or emotitionaly. Like a roller coaster.

I took two days off of work this week and took my two kids (8 and 10) to Mystic aquarium in CT. We stayed at a hotel and the kids got to have fun, go swimming, etc. Overall I did fairly well.

Not sure why, but when we got home I just felt sick to my stomach. I often feel like this when I get home from going somewhere. I see how happy my kids are as well as my wife as they run around the house whistling and humming. I used to do that!

My wife said the car ride must have done it. I don't bother explaining what the real problem is, because if your not going through this ... I don't think it really can be explained.

I am barely into this ... so many folks on this site are either worse off or have been dealing with this for such a long time and I really stumble with how to keep doing it. I feel like a baby sometimes ...

I do have a coupe reasons to keep fighting ... my wife and kids. My daughter sung at her schools variety show last week and she dedicated the song to me. She keeps me going.

Althought the song makes me cry every time I watch it, it also gives me a little lift. I am not sure if this is appropriate or not, but this is what lifts me and keeps me going:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=48psU...e_gdata_player

I am seeking professional help for depression and I am taking some meds as well which I hope to get off soon.

Well ... this is certainly not the Friday night I am used too (reading posts, stories, etc ... in my kitchen, wearing onion goggles).

I am looking forward to a better tomorrow and good overall weekend.

Cheers,
Tom

[Faith1989]

Hi Tom,

I am 23 years old and although I never had Lasik, I have severe dry eye disease. I have been tested for every possible thing that could have started this, but all tests turn out negative. (which is good I suppose) It all started a few years ago when I developed depression/insomnia really bad due to a bad relationship with a hockey player, (I wont go into detail on that lol), but due to the depression I slept about three-four hours per night for some time. My eyes would be so so red in the morning, I started using visine on a daily basis for about two years. They made my eyes so white, I thought it was just wonderful, so bottle after bottle I bought, having no idea what I was doing to myself.

About six months ago, I moved in with my significant other, who told me I could hurt myself using the drop so much and to stop it immediately...all hell broke lose. Three days later, my eyes never looked so red, inflammed and dry.. I know this is the reason the dry eye started. My eyes relied so much on the drops that they stopped working on their own. It been seven months visine free and im still suffering. I've tried EVERYTHING from warm compresses, lipiflow, plugs, steriods (three different ones), anti-allergy drops (which made things even worse), artifical tears, and gels. Nothing has worked.

I'm slipping back into my depression and am really scared because I did get over it. (it is possible!) I know what your going through, as I am going through the same thing. I'm happy your kids keep you going..ask your doctor about alrex/lotemax ...its the only thing that has helped.

I hope you get better soon!

[Jenn1]

Wow Tom, what a beautiful and talented daughter you have! Totally understand where you are coming from. Its like our whole world has been transformed and revolves around the constant awareness of the state of our eyes and worrying whether or not they will burn and sting or swell and the most inappropriate times. I have MGD due to accutane and went out of town for a few hours and snapped at my family as i didnt feel comfortable being out so long and having to worry about my eyes constantly. The home is definitely somewhere where you can just withdraw yourself away to and be alone. It definitely takes time and small steps to fully accept this chronic condition and re-adjust your life around it and go back to living a normal life.

Take heart that you have a great family and the rest of your health and that nothing is impossible and there is always the possiblity of improvement of the condition and new developments for a cure or meds are ongoing. Dont let the dry eyes win.

[eyemech]

Can you please relay your experience with Lipiflow. I am an optometrist who considered putting this device in my office. I have recently discovered a treatment that after only one week seems to make a difference. Unfortunately it is a prescription. About a month ago I put the TearLab in my office. this instrument only measures the osmolarity of the tears. It doesn't cure anything. What it did do for me was to allow me to measure the salt content of the tears and by doing so, I find the water content of the tears. Where am I going with this. By prescribing various medications, I can at least demonstrate which work and which do not. I have only tested a new formulation of drops on four patients but the results thus far have been nothing short of amazing.
There are a couple of typical treatments out ther that you did not mention. So since I am not going to discuss the drops I will ask if you have tried Lacriserts? I will also mention that the large diameter contact lenses create a comfortable front surface for some patients.
I have stayed off this site for quite some time. I do not personally suffer from this condition so I cannot really post my own experiences but I can post about my attempts to help others. After thirty two years of trying I finally feel that there just might be light at the end of the tunnel. If I can offer any assistance in suggesting the approved ideas please feel free to contact me. I am not going to discuss "off label" treatments on the discussion board.

[littlemermaid]

Hey, Tom ~ Thanks for allowing us to see a little bit of your life in CT, I just loved that.

Your daughter has a most fantastic voice and performance style - wow, isn't she relaxed and confident, bless her. Also that is not an easy song at all and she hit the tricky notes beautifully with real mature expression. I know about this stuff - LM is a choir alto and her twin soloist soprano and performer. I love your daughter's style! And she's only 10...

Ha, I see you play piano and cello like LM. She also plays woodwind - clarinet, recorders, bassoon. The twin plays piano, violin, guitar. Music is a huge help, makes us feel better and happier. I wish there was more music therapy in hospitals.

You cheered us up but we were sobbing too - your adorable daughter loves you and the music very much.

[Leelah]

I just want to say that your daughter is absolutely adorable, and I hope you get the help you need

[Hopeful2]

Hi Tom,

I thoroughly enjoyed your daughter's performance. She sings with lots of heart Thank you for sharing this with us. She brought a tear to my eye . . . and my daughter's. Our children really want us to be able to smile again.

It is interesting how moments come into our life. I have a musical background and have always enjoyed singing. I have been given little reminders lately of the need for me to bring music back into my life. Your daughter's song was just one more reminder to get back into singing

Thank you again for reaching out and sharing

Hopeful2

[tommyboy]

Faith1989, thank you for your reply. I really do wish you well and hope you can rebound again. I would try the onion goggles. Wear them for awhile ... and you may find some relief. Best of luck to you.

Regards,
Tom

[tommyboy]

Jenn1 ... Thank you for making the time to reply to my post. Not sure why, but today was rough. I didn't smile until 6 in the evening. But I did get some relief then ... and I was thankful for it.

Cheers,
Tom

[tommyboy]

Can you please relay your experience with Lipiflow..

Thanks for your advice. I have not tried Lipiflow and I am not interested in that right now. I do not think I am interested in the inserts yet either. But thanks again for your advice and your reply.

Cheers,
Tom

[tommyboy]

Littlemermaid ... Thank you so much for taking the time to read, watch the video and post. I have read many of your posts. And my heart truly goes out to you and your family.

That is not me in the video playing piano. That is my wonderful neighbor who is a blessing.

However, I decided to learn to play myself. And spoke about it with my wife tonight. Going to get a used digital piano and learn to play. I love to listen to music. I can't watch too much TV, have a hard time reading for more than 20 minutes. So learning to play a new instrument is going to be my new therapy.

Thanks again for your kind words.

Regards,
Tom

[tommyboy]

Thank you Leelah.

[tommyboy]

Hopeful2 ... Thanks for the post. I love when people reply

Music tends to help me. If you sing that is wonderful. And that is something you can do with your family.

How are you doing these days?

[Hopeful2]

Tom, I wish I could say all was well, and for some moments, I do feel fine.

I just went to see my kids in an athletic activity and it sure felt good to be there for them. The outing involved a long car drive and it gave me the opportunity to practice my belly breathing. When my eyes felt sore, I would close them for several minutes and breathe. When I opened them again they certainly felt more moist. So I am trying to acknowledge that I need to relax and remember to breathe through this whole journey.

[jrcgray]

I was interested in your posting. I have a terrible dry eye from a "zoster keratitis" and am interested in anything other than my current strategy of alternating Refresh Plus and Refresh Optive Sensitve literally every 20 minutes. I saw you mentioned Lacriserts and contacts, will google them to try to learn more. I am a physician yet despite that asset remain very frustrated with my current options. Anyway, thanks for any recommendations you may have.