Will there be a end to this nightmare

[ggky59]

I am absolutely consumed by my eyes now......I wake up looking in the mirror, I go to work searching for reflections to see how my eyes look until I get to the bathroom, I come home and all I do is see these horrid eyes in the mirror....all because one day, I work up with red blood shot eyes and couldn't get pass it.

I have seen the absolute best eye specialist in my home town and I have the bills to prove it. First contributed it to computer strain and allergies, second arthritis, third, it was the eye drops I was using, and I have another eye appointment next month...I just want to get rid of the red, that's all. I have paid upwards of 100 dollars each months on px with all the name brands, Lotomax, Restasa, you name it, I bought it....still no results.

So here I am, hoping against all hope this site can perhaps lead me to a road of recovery. Its been 3 days and I have not used one drop of OTC anything and its killing me because the stares at work are being unbearable and if one more customer ask me am I okay, I'm gonna scream. I feel like boss looks at me with digust as if I'm high or something....I keep telling her its the allergies, the heat, the weather, but everyone but me sneezes at work (smile). I'm now in the process of buying tinted glasses to hind behind....I just hate this year, hate it.

I just wont to know, when will it all end?

[runnergirl]

Hi ggky,

I know how you feel. I hate it too. I would trade having red eyes vs my eyes anyday of the week. My eyes are not red, however, they are so dry that they are in constant pain everyday all day with a nice touch of blepharospasm which means now they close at will and stay shut for about 20 senconds (which feels like 10 minutes). I walk into people, beds, machines, walls all day long. But I am blessed to be able to still work. My customers ask me if I am tired all the time....talk about embarrassing.
I like to think the glass is half full. There are plenty of people in the triumph section that have recovered from this and we will too. As to a time frame? Only God knows. For some it took months, some 2 years, some 10 years. Just take it day by day instead of looking far ahead. Feel blessed enough on the good days to carry you over through the bad days and back to another good day. Keep the rest of your body in good shape and your head in control. Be strong, not weak. Strength = control. Happiness is your right and choice, dont be consumed by your eyes, be consumed with taking care of youself and your eyes will follow. Your circumstances do not define you. God bless!

[Rebecca Petris]

I am absolutely consumed by my eyes now

I am so, so sorry. That's such a hard place to be, especially when it's affecting you at work.

I have seen the absolute best eye specialist in my home town

When you say the best eye specialist... by what measure (just curious)? Is s/he a corneal specialist? Finding the best practitioner for dry eye (or more broadly, ocular surface disease) can be really challenging... sometimes the best one in practice is a little-known optometrist somewhere who just happens to have a knack for this and the interest to keep up to date.

I just want to get rid of the red, that's all. I have paid upwards of 100 dollars each months on px with all the name brands, Lotomax, Restasa, you name it, I bought it....still no results.

Redness is a hard thing to tackle because you cannot effectively tackle it directly. You have to find the real problem(s) and sorting through and treating those effectively is a slow process. I certainly agree with runnergirl about the necessity of adjusting the focus to taking care of yourself in every way possible. When it's narrowed to "fix red eyes" you could be setting yourself up for frustration/disappointment. Once you're able to start setting smaller incremental goals that are more immediately achievable, you start to feel more in control.

[ggky59]

I am so, so sorry. That's such a hard place to be, especially when it's affecting you at work.


When you say the best eye specialist... by what measure (just curious)? Is s/he a corneal specialist? Finding the best practitioner for dry eye (or more broadly, ocular surface disease) can be really challenging... sometimes the best one in practice is a little-known optometrist somewhere who just happens to have a knack for this and the interest to keep up to date.


Redness is a hard thing to tackle because you cannot effectively tackle it directly. You have to find the real problem(s) and sorting through and treating those effectively is a slow process. I certainly agree with runnergirl about the necessity of adjusting the focus to taking care of yourself in every way possible. When it's narrowed to "fix red eyes" you could be setting yourself up for frustration/disappointment. Once you're able to start setting smaller incremental goals that are more immediately achievable, you start to feel more in control.

Rebecca, I also have the dry eye too....so by mid day my eyes begin to shut down and the tired worn look takes effect. I think once I get my px glasses with a slight tint to them, I'll be okay and not so focused on my eyes so much, but until then, I can't help myself. I'm not a vain person, I just can't bare the stares any longer and explaining things to people.

[ggky59]

Hi ggky,

I know how you feel. I hate it too. I would trade having red eyes vs my eyes anyday of the week. My eyes are not red, however, they are so dry that they are in constant pain everyday all day with a nice touch of blepharospasm which means now they close at will and stay shut for about 20 senconds (which feels like 10 minutes). I walk into people, beds, machines, walls all day long. But I am blessed to be able to still work. My customers ask me if I am tired all the time....talk about embarrassing.
I like to think the glass is half full. There are plenty of people in the triumph section that have recovered from this and we will too. As to a time frame? Only God knows. For some it took months, some 2 years, some 10 years. Just take it day by day instead of looking far ahead. Feel blessed enough on the good days to carry you over through the bad days and back to another good day. Keep the rest of your body in good shape and your head in control. Be strong, not weak. Strength = control. Happiness is your right and choice, dont be consumed by your eyes, be consumed with taking care of youself and your eyes will follow. Your circumstances do not define you. God bless!

Runnergirl, I also have the dry eye in addition to the redness and yes, by mid day, I experience the eyes shutting down too. I just want to be normal again...and patience is something I'm lacking these days, because this "thing" just came out of know where....one day everything is okay, my OTC is working just fine, the next, I got blood shot eyes and a dry eye diagnosis. I will triumph through this and I know that someday things will get better....I just need to know when?????? I've given up all OTV save for Refresh and Systane to keep my eyes moist, this last doctor's appt. will be it for me. I'm hoping to try yet one more steroic eye medication before I give up completely on doctors.

[No tears in ATL]

I would advise you to mention your dry eye to your boss, IF you trust your boss. You would be surprised the number of people who suffer from this. I started a new job recently and met two people who said, "Yes! Me, too! My doctor says I have dry eye!" (I had to explain why my eyes were beet red after sitting under a ceiling vent) You don't have to be dramatic about it, perhaps just mention it casually if you catch him/her staring: "[rubbing eyes] Sorry, my eyes have been bothering me lately, but I'm working with a doctor. Dry eye? Have you heard of it? It's really annoying..."

Others may have better advice. I was lucky in that I could actually tell me boss because I had to make several doctor's appointments in a month. Then again, I'm a pretty "open book" person and don't really care what people think.

Will it end? Yep. It does, and it will take some time until you figure out what really works for you. You will have to experiment with steroid drops, over-the-counter drops, compresses, moisture chambers, and all of the things mentioned on this blog, so I recommend checking in from time to time. It will get better, though. You will have good days and bad days. The difference in joining DEZ is that you will learn how to better manage the bad days. Does that help?

[Leelu]

Hi ggky,
I am in the same position as you. Suffering from dry eyes most of my life (I am now 63). I am extremely self conscious about the way I look. Always redness, tired eyes, heavy eyes, irritated eyes. I have been to many doctors both local and out of state. Using OTC drops daily and Restasis and serum tears. I am totally disgusted.
I hate going out to functions where there are lots of people because of this condition. Did find out about this new surgery to get rid of the redness. It is called I-Brite. There is only one doctor who does the procedure. His name is Dr. Brian Boxer Wachler located in Beverly Hills, CA. Check it out. It involves just removing the membrane from your eyes. Google his name and I-Brite and let me know what you think. There are also testimonials posted. Pricey...$10,000..can't afford that!! Have you heard about Blephex? Would love to have clear healthy looking eyes. My heart goes out to you. I know how this can make you feel. I hide behind sunglasses most of the time. Hope there is a solution in the future. Bausch & Lomb supposedly is coming out with a new drop. I am still looking into that. Write back. Good Luck and God bless.

[Rebecca Petris]

DON'T FALL FOR IT! Of course there are testimonials. How else can you market something? If I were selling camel spit for dry eye, you can bet I'd come up with testimonials too.

I-Brite is not a good idea for people with dry eye. I've even had surgeons write to me pleading not to let it be talked about on the board!

[ggky59]

I want to but I've given soooo many excuses to this lady, I think she's getting tired of hearing about it.(smile). First I tell her its because of gout (doctor told me this), then I said, allergies (doctor told me this), than I said it was because of the dry eye (doctor told me this)....now explain excessive OTC use?? I can't...she's gonna think I'm crazy..which I am at this point(smile).

[ggky59]

Thanks for the heads up, Rebecca, because people like me are that desperate for a way out and would fall gladly for something like this...thank you, won't be checking that out at all!!