New dry eye sufferer, extremely frustrated, need answers and help desperately!!!!!

[Skizzy91]

It does seem now that the infection was the cause here, the dryness caused the infection however, but it is not the main problem.
I have just a few more questions;

1) Is this normal or common practice that they tried to cure my infection with lubricating drops only? I am completely shocked by this. Yes the infection was mild but it was still unbearable...
2) So I had this mild infection in my eye for two weeks before I got antibiotics, could there be some permanent damage, and how did this affect my immune system that it has battled the infection for so long now?

[L8rgator]

It does seem now that the infection was the cause here, the dryness caused the infection however, but it is not the main problem.
I have just a few more questions;

1) Is this normal or common practice that they tried to cure my infection with lubricating drops only? I am completely shocked by this. Yes the infection was mild but it was still unbearable...
2) So I had this mild infection in my eye for two weeks before I got antibiotics, could there be some permanent damage, and how did this affect my immune system that it has battled the infection for so long now?

I'm not a doctor, and don't have alot of experience or knowldege with infections. But if that is what you are looking for, then my guess to 1 would be no I havent' heard of that.

And 2 I think anything can cause permanent damage. But if your doctor didn't mention any, then I'd guess you are definitely home free - because they can see that in an exam. I think it's hard to damage your eye that much. After my cheek surgery my dry eye problem was completely unheard of. So when I complained, everybody completely ignored me for 3 weeks - of which time I used no glasses, no drops, nothing - and my eye produced NO TEARS at all and the lids only closed 1/2 way if I tried really hard. It was the worst pain ever, and my eye completely clouded over with the damage - like looking through 4 layers of saran wrap covered in menthol and acid and sand. It took days of anti-inflamatory drops, ointments, and coverings just to be able to see again. Another then months of drops and goggles before they decided to do surgery (sew part of my eye lid together so I could close it all the way, and cauterize my plugs). My eye surface looked terrible - even with constant ointment and mono-goggle use, for over another year. Now, after a very short period having a scleral on it, my eye has completely healed and even feels healthy. So they can heal, even when pretty badly damaged by dryness.

[Skizzy91]

Yeah I hope so man, doctors have been very reassuring but they said even the first time that I went there to use lubricating drops and it will get better in a week, however it got worse, they clearly underestimated my infection because I didnt have a pink eye.

My eyes still feel a bit irritated you know.... but I guess it takes time, the infectious feeling has reduced significally tho. I will have another checkup on monday, I will probably get more reassurance then.

[Skizzy91]

still have stinging and burning feeling... less than before but it does not seem to go away completely, still feeling very suicidal. god damn everything... I do not want to live a life full of suffering, disappointments.....I cant catch a break.

[Skizzy91]

I still think im going to suicide.... f*** it... this is too much.... nothing helps and the doctors dont care.
Since I have no life anyway, this makes it a lot easier, f*** my parents too, they didn't help me in life so they deserve it if I suicide.... tomorrow I will go to the eye doctor for the 5th time, now I guess I must just say it out that I am contemplating suicide because clearly she does not seem to take me seriously... how else would she just tell me to use lubricating drops when I have an infection? freaking hell......

[dryeye4ever]

go to 2 different ophtalmologists so they can confirm you have dry eyes not just an infection. As i mentioned in the pm those drops can be antibiotics or anti inflamatorry like maxidex

The ophtalmologist will make a diagnosis and they tell you really what you have. They will find out if its dry eye or not.

[Skizzy91]

Well the doctor said it is BOTH dry and and infection/inflammation... and that the infection was caused by the dry eye so they thought if they give me lubricating drops and my dry eye gets better then the infection will go away too... apparently it didnt.

now ive been on antibiotics for a week and the infection does seem to have gotten a lot better, maybe it is entirely gone I am not sure, but I have other symptoms now and I am still completely exhausted by all this and I cant take it for much longer... im not gonna get into all my symptoms atm but basically my eyes just feel irritated and exhausted, they dont feel relax or fresh at all...

I will go to doctor again today hopefully I get more answers.... but anyway how can this be a dry eye only? How can a dry eye start giving me such problems literally overnight when I have lived like this for years??

[Skizzy91]

Also im starting to think anxiety might have something to do with how I am feeling because I have pretty extreme anxiety disorder.

[Skizzy91]

Just went to the doctor and now im completely down...
This was another doctor, and she said "yea its all caused by dry eye"... and that even my anxiety is causing my dry eye and that I can never wear contact lenses again and that I cant even look at computer more than half an hour at a time.... what a load of complete crap. She even got irritated when I asked too many questions and was like "do what you want then blabla" ... and that I should get on antidepressants because my situation will not get better at all if I dont cure my stress....
I went there to head something positive and reassuring but all I got was absolute doom...
I will go back to another doctor on thursday, she was much more positive and reassuring. What a load of total BS, I have lived in the same conditions for at least the past 3 years and now she tells me this ... total BS.

God Im so freaking tired of everything...... I honestly just cant take it for much longer... I really cant.... I will never feel good.

[MGD666]

Skizzy: Do you know if the fucithalmic drops you were prescribed contain the preservative BAK? (most do from what I hear). Although some people can tolerate it, that preservative should definitely be avoided in the case of someone experiencing dry eye.

[dominorose]

Skizzy I understand what you feel, but one thing I've noticed recently is the more I think about my eyes, the more I think I still "feel" they're not normal, the more anxious I get, and the more pain I feel. What I want to say is if you tell yourself "I feel better but not better enough", then you will focus on your eyes and feel uncomfortable. I burnt my arm the other day, nothing to worry about just a little burn, but when I let my mind focus on the burning sensation, I could feel it 10x worse!
Sorry for my english I'm french. Don't let doctors worry you. In 15 days I've been told I had MGD, then a conjunctivitis, ocular rosacea, and maybe Sjorgren. I was really anxious at first but now I know I can trust my body. Ten years ago I've had an amoeibic keratitis : in a few words, my right eye was blind. I was 15 y/o. It took me a year to heal, with 8 different drops in the eye every 2 hours, but it healed. Believe in yourself, trust your body bc he's your best friend.

[Skizzy91]

Skizzy I understand what you feel, but one thing I've noticed recently is the more I think about my eyes, the more I think I still "feel" they're not normal, the more anxious I get, and the more pain I feel. What I want to say is if you tell yourself "I feel better but not better enough", then you will focus on your eyes and feel uncomfortable. I burnt my arm the other day, nothing to worry about just a little burn, but when I let my mind focus on the burning sensation, I could feel it 10x worse!
Sorry for my english I'm french. Don't let doctors worry you. In 15 days I've been told I had MGD, then a conjunctivitis, ocular rosacea, and maybe Sjorgren. I was really anxious at first but now I know I can trust my body. Ten years ago I've had an amoeibic keratitis : in a few words, my right eye was blind. I was 15 y/o. It took me a year to heal, with 8 different drops in the eye every 2 hours, but it healed. Believe in yourself, trust your body bc he's your best friend.

yes that is right... my anxiety does make things worse. I have anxiety syndrome too...

[Skizzy91]

I have chronic eye inflammation and also eye muscles exhausted. I need to stay off computer as much as possible and need a job fast !!! or I will die!

[Skizzy91]

I am just so exhausted in general...... completely exhausted and drained out feeling....... I honestly cant take this for much longer. Also I cant take this horrible hot damp summer weather for much longer.
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[Rebecca Petris]

I am sorry I haven't been online here to see this thread before now (THANK YOU spmcc for the heads up. I love how this community cares for people! You are all SO GREAT.). Been working short hours with an eye taped shut and just have to prioritize kind of brutally these days. I have put skizzy91's posting status on hold temporarily in hopes we can get in touch via phone/email. Just mentioning this so that no one here will be worrying if private messages etc are not answered. If there is someone in private contact with skizzy91 whose conversation I've interrupted and you need another way to contact them - please let me know.