My fears [TRIGGER WARNING]

But

By flagging it I wasn't suggesting anything inappopriate was posted. There are viewers who appreciate a heads-up to be able to avoid suicide talk when they know themselves to be vulnerable. If you haven't noticed my other posts & blog, well, it's very important to me right now to try to balance the needs of people who need to tell their stories with the needs of those who are getting triggered. Dowork123 it seems to come perfectly naturally to you to wear your heart on your sleeve here, combined with a very articulate voice, but... for a lot of others it's just not like that. And Milo007 there's nothing funny about it. There's a lot of press coverage here about lasik and suicide right now that is hard for people.

Yeah, I am that way in real life as well. I have no secrets, so it’s hard for me to see how someone would have a problem talking/reading about any subject. I think I’m just the type of person for whom being triggered is extremely rare. So it’s hard for me to do exactly what you’re trying to do...find a balance between being honest and not disturbing people. I seem to scare people a lot. Good thing you’re here to fix it, thanks! Because I like the fact that I can just be honest on here without fear. That said, I’ll try to be as careful as humanly possible when I discuss suicide from here on out.

[Milo007]

By flagging it I wasn't suggesting anything inappopriate was posted. There are viewers who appreciate a heads-up to be able to avoid suicide talk when they know themselves to be vulnerable. If you haven't noticed my other posts & blog, well, it's very important to me right now to try to balance the needs of people who need to tell their stories with the needs of those who are getting triggered. Dowork123 it seems to come perfectly naturally to you to wear your heart on your sleeve here, combined with a very articulate voice, but... for a lot of others it's just not like that. And Milo007 there's nothing funny about it. There's a lot of press coverage here about lasik and suicide right now that is hard for people.

Yeah I know there is nothing funny about dry eyes. Even I was contemplating suicide a few months ago. It's just that I was able to adjust quickly with my condition. Still not funny at all. I bet each and every one of us has that dreadful feeling of uncertainty which is haunting every now and then. Life has been a real struggle off late.

[Rebecca Petris]

By flagging it I wasn't suggesting anything inappopriate was posted. There are viewers who appreciate a heads-up to be able to avoid suicide talk when they know themselves to be vulnerable. If you haven't noticed my other posts & blog, well, it's very important to me right now to try to balance the needs of people who need to tell their stories with the needs of those who are getting triggered. Dowork123 it seems to come perfectly naturally to you to wear your heart on your sleeve here, combined with a very articulate voice, but... for a lot of others it's just not like that. And Milo007 there's nothing funny about it. There's a lot of press coverage here about lasik and suicide right now that is hard for people.

[Milo007]

Holy shit this required a trigger warning? I wonder who and why...that sucks.

I was surprised as well. Lol

Dowork123

I searched the forum on suicide and flagged recent threads that came up. This was one of them. (Your post, first page.)

No worries, I just feel bad...not my intention.

[Rebecca Petris]

Dowork123

I searched the forum on suicide and flagged recent threads that came up. This was one of them. (Your post, first page.)

Holy shit this required a trigger warning? I wonder who and why...that sucks.

Dowork123 I'm so happy to hear you're doing better - that's great news! My eyes are continuing to improve, which is awesome. With any luck, both of us will continue to improve and have many more good days!

Thanks so much Dowork123 I'll definitely take a look!

How are you doing today?

I’m doing pretty good. Had a few days where I went out with pretty much no issues. Functioning like my old self pretty much. It’s the first time in 14 months. Had a great weekend with my wife. I forgot how happy we were before all this happened. We really had a perfect life. Ugh!

Anyway, I hope you’re feeling better post steroids. Although it may still be too Soon for you to tell based on your timeline.

[Rebecca Petris]

It is soul crushing to go between pain and being normal.

Wow you really nailed that hopeful_hiker While PAIN is a big part of the reasons for mental health impact, the variability of dry eye symptoms is a huge contributor too.

Thanks so much Dowork123 I'll definitely take a look!

How are you doing today?

SAAG

as promised...I think one of the cooler drugs is DNAse. It’s breaks down extra cellular dna which is found in the tear film of dry eye patients. Jain runs the clinical trials for the drug in particular. Hey, maybe you could get into the trials. If you go to UICs website you can see if you’re eligible. It would be free. That’s cool if you could get out here.

Alright you said said takes a lot of will power to gain that muscle. Maybe so, but I don’t attribute it to something special I know that others don’t. It’s not a choice (I don’t believe in free will, we can get into that too lol). I think I was born with that mentality and my environment forged it into steel. I think this was the only way I could have been, if you follow me on that sentiment.

I can see what you mean. A lot of who we are is just the way we were born. I see that with my kids - they are who they are, and I seem to have very little influence in their overall personality, that's for sure.

As far as free will goes... I think I'd be bummed out if I thought I couldn't change anything long term because I'm just on a ride. I'm a type-A personality and I like control. lol

Hmm... but nonetheless, even with the outlook that you're only on a ride that you have no way of directing, I suppose there's still the possibility of things getting better... you just don't know when that will be. So maybe this is just a crappy part of the ride you have to endure to get to a better part that's coming up...

Hope you’re doing well and the screen isn’t bothering you too much.

My eyes are better today than they were yesterday - it's been 48 hours since my 5-day run of steroids ended. Based on past experience, it could take up to a week or more for them to reach full post-steroid improvement. I'm cautiously optimistic. After almost 3 weeks of my eyes being totally rotten, it's nice to see the potential for getting back to a more tolerable state again. Even today has been pretty decent (although I'm still majorly limiting screen time, I can at least get my eyes to a comfortable state where they aren't bothering me every second).

SAAG

here are the pictures, all compunded at UIC preservative free in saline. Dr Jain is an invited member of the dry eye workshop. So he had at the very least I’m assuming most of what they report to be available. Heparin, tacrolimus, cyclosporine...there’s an entire list he gives his patients. I’ll look for it and post the picture of that also.

methyprednisolone 1% taken once per day (started with a 4/3/2/1 taper)

serum tears 50% as needed

heparin 100iu/ml 3 times per day

Thank-you so much for this! Very much appreciated!

SAAG

im going to address one pint and use this as a placeholder..I have to go look at a house today 90 mins away. So I’m going to nap and get ready for this.

Alright you said said takes a lot of will power to gain that muscle. Maybe so, but I don’t attribute it to somethingh special I know that others don’t. It’s not a choice (I don’t believe in free will, we can get into that too lol). I think I was born with that mentality and my environment forged it into steel. I think this was the only way I could have been, if you follow me on that sentiment. There’s no way looking back, that I could have been shown or told anything to fix this aside from literally seeing into the future. I think that goes for pretty much everything I’ve done. I believe chive is an illusion, I’m just a passenger on this ride. Sucks I got this brain and this family.

Ill be back!! Hope you’re doing well and the screen isn’t bothering you too much.